Thoughts - yours , mine, ours

Sarasa

2010-01-07T19:54:00.006-08:00

Sarasa
That is how Sarasa came into our lives. I think it was a turning point in Sarasa’s life. My first assignment was to make the girl presentable. She looked like an unkempt gypsy whose hair had not experienced a comb in many years.
I gave her soap , shampoo , comb, clothes and the extra wash room at home .Her first job every morning was to use the washroom , have a proper bath and see that she was clean and tidy. Within a week people were complimenting her on her appearance, which was a great motivator for her. All the praise, the fact that there were no battles with her step mom, and the Sunday English classes, changed Sarasa to an unbelievable extent. She was no longer the ruffian child she used to be, for one she looked good, even started speaking in more refined way, her whole disposition underwent a change. She was literally a different Sarasa. Gone was the defiant, uncouth, loud brat.
The girl had not seen the inside of a school but her native intelligence was amazing. She was curious about everything and learnt fast. She absorbed her Sunday English lessons with such speed that she could within months manage small sentences in spoken English. Though she could not read she would from the news paper leaflets put two and two together and be absolutely on the dot, on which shop in the neighborhood had a sale on which items. She was a raving fan of one of the local Tamil actor Vijay every photograph of his was cut from the papers and magazines and stored away very carefully.
She was a treat to watch, when I took her with me, to the local supermarket. Her excitement never abated even after a dozen trips. She would run counter to counter chattering loudly oblivious of the curious stares from other shoppers. If, I ever went to the store without Sarasa, I would have all the shop hands enquiring about her, they looked forward to her visits.
On one occasion, she stayed with me for a weekend when her family went to their village. She was quite upset they did not take her with them. To compensate, I took her that Sunday morning to the beach. The preparation for it started almost 48 hours ahead. It was like taking a 5 year old to the beach instead of a seventeen year old. I had my hands full, trying to get her not to go far into the water and get her to get out of the water, when it was time to return home. Passersby gave curious looks, they probably wondered whether she was underdeveloped, not knowing this was a seventeen year olds first outing to a beach.
By the time Sarasa was with me for couple of years she would insist on speaking English, if she could manage it. Some of the phrases she used surprised me, for I do not recall teaching her, but she had picked it up from somewhere, probably from the TV. Once my daughter was home for holidays and was upset over something and Sarasa comes out with “don’t worry, be happy” to my daughter’s amusement.
Soon it was time to part ways. Sarasa was getting married to one of Latlitha’s relative’s son who had fallen in love with the new, well behaved, well dressed Sarasa. Sarasa while she worked with me had put away a part of her salary with which she was able to buy herself a gold chain and two bangles and with the little money left over, she bought me a small porcelain doll, as a show piece which I treasure to this day. My last memory of Sarasa is when she was all decked up on her wedding ,when I last saw her in her new gold bangles and chain and the earring, I gave her for her wedding, bending down to take my blessings.

Savitaben & Kokilaben

2010-01-07T19:54:00.005-08:00

Savitaben and Kokilaben

Soon it was time to pack up from Bangalore. This was the only time when the shift was on account of my transfer .Until now and also future transfer were on account of my husband getting transferred or changing his job. This time I had to shift as I had done my stint in the Regional offices of the firm and it was time to be at the HQ. As that involved quite a good job enrichment opportunity I decided to make the move to Anand, in Gujarat.

Even before my household items were being off loaded at Anand by the packers and movers, I had four to five maids vying with one another for jobs. Anand is one place were I did not have to go through the ordeal of searching for a maid. From the half a dozen who came searching for a job I zeroed in on two – Savitha ben for the household work and Kokilaben for the cooking. This was a strategy I picked up from my Aunt in Delhi. Her logic was on days one of them didn’t turn up ,you at least had the other. So one does not get saddled by all the work. That seemed to make a lot of sense and since there seemed to be a buyers market as far as maids were concerned, in Anand, I opted for this.

The discussion of terms of employment was rather unusual; at least I was not used to it. It sounded like a legal contract the way the terms were being spelled out. Every little item was spelled out in the minutest of details, if 10 chapattis ‘x’ amount if 12 chapattis ‘y’ amount an additional ‘a’ amount for a ‘sabzi’ ‘b’ amount for ‘dal’ etc. It was not just the cook but the cleaning lady too. It appeared to be standard operating procedure. ‘x’ amount for washing clothes an additional ‘y’ amount if dry clothes needed to be folded and put away so on and so forth.

I did think that we were in for legal battles after that but I learnt to the contrary that everything went smoothly after that. The contract was adhered to in letter and spirit. Any extra work on any day would involve an extra payment that was all.
But work that had been contracted for just happened without any ado.

Rain or shine Kokilla ben would be there on the dot .She carried key to 10 houses mine was the 11th scheduled for 11 am. She would flit in and out of house like a honey bee. Hardly 30 minutes in my house the chapatti, exact number contracted for a sabzi a dal and a snack for the evening would all be ready served at the table and she would be off to the next house. Six sharp back again to make the chapattis for dinner.Kokilaben did not do the dishes, it would bee stacked neatly in the utility area with water poured into it and left for Savitaben. I thought this would be a potential area of conflict. When my Aunt in Delhi shared with me her strategy of two maids, she had warned that I would have keep aside an hour on Sundays, to resolve conflicts between the two. On no occasion were there any problems between the two. I guess that was the detailed pre employment agreement was all about.

Seeing their absolute trustworthiness, I gave a set of keys to Savitaben too, that gave her an opportunity to work early mornings in another house for which she was so obliged that she would go beyond her contract and clean inside of all the cupboards .On no occasion did I have to point out any undone task or shoddy work everything was done to perfection. Not a single item was taken from the house though both worked in my absence.

Anand was one place I never lost sleep over a maid problem. On the rare occasion either of them took leave they would somehow manage to get the word across, so you never felt you were stranded.

I always wondered what made them so different from the maids else where. That initial hardcore commercial discussion seems to be the secret. Elsewhere they promise the moon and they dish out the minimum requirement. Where as here they deliver what they promise. Word of mouth, no written contract but that was sacrosanct. There was so much to be learnt from them. Even by corporates. The goal setting, the execution of goals, the total quality orientation, the reliability, the time management, the team spirit, the accountability, and so much more.

Yashoda Amma

2010-01-07T19:54:00.004-08:00

YASODHA AMMA

After a long battle with a sundry group of part time maids who came and went at regular intervals, I gave in, and decided it was time to get over my fear of keeping a live in maid .The uncertainty of whether a maid would come in or not every morning appeared to be a greater trauma than the constant watch over the live in maid not getting into problems. One of my colleagues found a way out by suggesting I keep an elderly live in maid so that I don’t have another ‘Shobha’ experience. Well that made sense and yet another colleague who had rubber estate in Kerala offered to get one from there when he returned from his hometown.

That is how Yashodha Amma came to stay with us. An elderly lady probably in her early 40s .She was up early morning would have her bath even before we were up and about finish her prayers and would have a fresh and clean appearance with the sandal wood paste on her forehead. She really was clean and fresh all the time in
her starched off white ‘set mundu’, the typical Kerala wear of two piece sari.

She looked like an elder in the family. Cooked the typical Kerala meal and all of us were happy for the ‘taste of Kerala ‘, which we otherwise had only on our vacation to Kerala. She had us enjoying those longed for taste on a daily basis. Until then we never had a cook from kerala. It was always When in Rome eating as the Romans do. North Indian food when in Delhi, Marathi flavors while at Bombay, kandiga cuisine while at Bangalore, Gujarati food in Gujarat, Chennai grub at Chennai etc. Because of this my own cooking could not be classified into any particular genre or was it just a result of not being a good cook?!Yashodha literally had us eating out of her hand, given this back ground.

I guess it was too good to be true .despite all the praise we showered on her I always thought she was not happy. In retrospect perhaps it was sheer boredom but every day evening when I returned she would complain about people staring at her through the windows .I thought she just was scared to be in a new place, she did not know the local language and hence could not speak to anyone. But each time the complaints become more paranoid. Slowly she stopped looking normal too there was this sort of crazy look in her eyes which had me really worried .I spoke to a couple of doctor friends they said she probably needed a psychiatrist she seemed to imagine some one was following all her moves through the windows and was out to harm her . She became quite neurotic about this .Despite her culinary skills we decided to part ways I did not want to have another attempted suicide on my hand.

Rita

2010-01-07T19:54:00.003-08:00

Rita

An elderly lady, educated, coming from a family that was fairly well off but fallen into bad times on account of her husbands craze for betting on horses. She undoubtedly was an excellent cook and house keeper. Not much of a company for my little daughter, but by then my daughter was spending the first half of the day in a play school she loved to go to. She would come home have her lunch and sleep for the next 3 hours. So Rita had to deal with her only for a couple of hours till I reached home.
Rita really endeared herself to the family with her evident love for my daughter. Some time after she had been with us one day I had asked her to come prepared to be delayed the following day as there

would be some extra work on account of it being my daughter birthday and we had a whole lot of little kids coming over in the evening. Next day Rita shows up in a kancheepuram sari and a gift for my daughter’s birthday. She won our hearts with that Gesture and of course there was her talent for cooking which everyone loved.
Everything was going smoothly, when one evening my husband asks very hesitantly “what’s happening around here?” He had a strange expression on his face – amused, surprised, doubtful, all simultaneously. I asked him what he meant and he holds up his whiskey bottle half full. So I tell that’s whiskey and he responds “its whiskey alright but highly diluted wiskey.For some time now I had a doubt someone has been consuming a wee bit and then pouring water to ensure so that the level remain where I left it.

”Oh my God the maid? “I exclaimed.
Though we laughed over it ,I was worried , so I came back from office on a couple of occasions, at odd times ,to check out if the maid was in her senses or sozzled!She appeared to be okay and in any case my husband assured that it was apparently only a small peg a day. So we continued with Rita, though of course all alcohol was kept under lock and key, thereafter.

Rita

2010-01-07T19:54:00.002-08:00

Mary

2010-01-07T19:54:00.001-08:00

Mary
Mary was the one who reached the benchmark of Shobha of Bombay. She was a superb housekeeper and absolutely reliable. After a week of starting work she said okay now I know what is expected of me, I’ll take care. She just took over.
She kept herself and the house very presentable. By then we had a Labrador pup added to the family and that did not make her job very easy. He was teething and chews and rips apart anything he came across a socks, cushions, towel, duster, broom, footwear just about anything. Zypher the pup must have made her pick and clean the place all the time he was not taking a nap which luckily was quite frequently. He in any case like rest of the family doted on her.
The reigns of the household just slipped into her hands smoothly. She took my daughter’s bicycle to the vegetable market got fresh vegetables , decided the menu for the day, watered the plants, saw that the overhead water tank was full, literally ran the show. My daughter’s friends would drop by to have “Mary’s Sambar or “Mary’s Fish curry”. She was a good cook too. Unexpected guest, did not daunt her, she would have a meal ready in a jiffy.
Mary had only one area of doubt that was on GOD. She came from a village called senji. Apparently most of them in the village were Hindus converted to Christians and the first generation converts. Many of the old Hindu customs continued with a Christian twist. For the Pongal festival they would still decorate their cattle but would take it to the local Church! Poor kid to add to her confusion in the village they went to the Roman Catholic Church whereas in Chennai her local guardians whom she visited every Sunday took her to the Pentecost Church, which had their own peculiar rituals. To add to the confusion her questions on God were directed to me who did not believe in any religious practices, though I was on a spiritual search I really could not answer any of her questions with absolute confidence as I was still in the process of questioning the religious practices. She was only a 20 year old with the natural interest of a girl her age in films, dressing up etc but her Pentecost relatives told her she should spend all her spare time in reading the Bible and that it was because she did not have adequate belief in the Bible that her father continued to be a drunkard. She would keep switching TV Channels between Tamil film songs and the religious sermons. She felt very guilty about her interest in film songs.
She would ask me why I don’t go to Temple every week. She found it difficult to understand my explanation that I did believe in a cosmic power but could not give it a name as so and so God. I used to tell her all of us including all of nature around us is “God “to me. She would consider that seriously until the next Sunday!
She thought quiet deeply not just about God. One of her questions really amazed me. We had a cot on the terrace which we covered with a sheet. Because of the bright sunlight the colored sheet would fade quite fast. Whenever she went home for Christmas holidays of two weeks she would come back darker as she had to help her parents in the field .She would be desperate to get rid of the sun tan once back at work at our place. It was on one such occasion that she came up with this question. One day she asks me - Why is it that the color of the sheet becomes light when exposed to the sun but I my skin color becomes darker in the sun?!That was Mary for you! I had to explain about the pigment in our skin etc to her. Mary was very keen to become fair she had a dark complexion. She was quite pretty but refused to believe that, for her beauty meant fair skin. She pinned all her hope on the fair and lovely cream that she secretly applied on her face. Secretly, because she did not want her Pentecost relatives to know of it.
Mary was with us for 2 1/5 years .She left to get married.

Zubaida

2010-01-07T19:49:00.001-08:00

ZUBAIDA

Once again I was between maids and had spread the word around that I needed someone for both the house hold work and cooking. Since my daughter was away at the boarding school and there was just myself to be fed I decided that I could cook for myself.

I over estimated my capabilities. Very soon I was quiet sick of my “survival cooking”. I was diabetic and found that I was not making adequately nutritious food. My excuse was, I did not have adequate time but to be honest I guess the fact is cooking has never been one of my main priorities! Being quite mediocre in that department whenever the occasion demanded something exotic or really yummy, I always opted to outsource.

So the search for a good cook was on, the watchman, the driver, the dhobi, and the neighborhood maids had all been informed. The dhobi’s wife comes one evening saying “amma there is a lady who has not worked anywhere before ,she comes from a good family but has been married into a family that is not so well off , she has two kids and is not able to make ends meet so wants to work. However there is one issue, she is a Muslim “That is Okay with me, bring her over let me meet her and then decide “I said. She came late evening with the dhobi woman. A well dressed, pretty women, rather a girl, must have got married very young. She was so well behaved and simple in her demeanor I really jumped at the chance.

Next day was the orientation program. Not having worked anywhere else as a domestic help she needed guidance on what needed to be done. I took a day off to explain where what was kept and induct her into the cleaning process.

Then onwards she took over. She would be at my place at the crack of dawn, before her neighbors woke up, she did not want them to know she worked as a maid. From 5am in the morning to 8 o’clock she would finish cooking and cleaning. Before she left she would take such pains to see there were no tell tale signs of her having come to work , she would comb her hair , retie her sari , take her purse and carry bag so that when she returned home it would appear she had just stepped out to pick up some provisions for her house. Her parents lived in the same neighborhood and she did not want them to know she had to do household work to support
her family. This went on very well, she cooked some of the yummiest food and I had to be cautious to see that I did not put on weight.

One night after I had returned from office, I was surprised to see her at my place with her two little sons. They must have been 9 and 6 years of age, the elder one’s name was Amir Khan and the younger was Sharukh Khan! Really handsome boys, so I told them that looks like you plan to be like your namesakes in Bollywood! They were very thrilled with that. Obviously a star struck family. Zubaida said she had come because she need a loan badly as she had to pay fees for the boys next day which her husband was to arrange from his workplace, which he was not able to . She was almost in tears as she said the school had given an ultimatum and she did not want the kids schooling to be stopped.
Though I have had bad experiences of loans to maids, which often disappeared along with the maid, it looked like a genuine case so I gave her the amount. She promised that she would pay it back in installments from her salary. She continued to work for me for some time and every month she would pay back the loan in bits and pieces.

During this period I met with a personal tragedy .One morning at office I had a call from my Dad to say that my Mom was hospitalized and I should come home. I knew Mom was having a fever for a week and she had told me it was a viral fever so I was surprised she was hospitalized. Dad was not able to tell me more, except that it was apparently not a viral as she continued to have low grade fever and typhoid, malaria etc had been ruled out, so doctors were keeping her under observation and for further tests.

I immediately organized a ticket to Trichur, closed up the house, told the neighbors to inform Zubaida that I would be away and that when I return I would inform the Dhobi and she need not come until then.

By the time I reached Trichur the next morning there was no further progress in the diagnosis but I knew from dad’s face that it was worrying him no end. I had a bath and went to the hospital; mom looked fine to me except for the fact that she had slight fever. I thought Dad was worrying unnecessarily. My brother was with my mom at the hospital. Since I and my dad were there with mom he said he was going to meet her doctor .As he was leaving he said “Why don’t you come with me”. I accompanied him to the first floor of the hospital as soon as we reached the landing of the first floor he asked me to sit down, saying I need to talk to you. I immediately sensed there was something amiss. “Usha, Mom has Leukemia “He said, his voice quivering. I sat with a thud. I could not believe it.” Mom does not look ill, are you sure?” I asked, hoping against hope there was some error somewhere. He said” No, I have seen her reports and it is AML, she has max 90 days left.”

Though my brother was a doctor I hoped he was wrong and said I would like to meet the doctor .He said we need to take mom for the biopsy but the blood reports were quite conclusive. We went to the doctor who was one of our relatives he took one look at my face and turned to my brother who told him “ I have told her” I asked the doctor “ Uncle is there a chance that the biopsy may prove the blood report wrong” He said “ No Usha , it is confirmed.” He then called my brother to examine the blood stained slides. They discussed the medical details, I just sat numb. I only asked should we tell dad. The doctor and my brother both agreed that dad and mom both could be told that Mom had to go for a biopsy, as that would mentally prepare them ,for the worst. Well to cut painful long story short, it was confirmed Mom had only max 90 days left. I decided to take 3 months off from office and be with Mom for her last days.

So it was after Mom passed away on the 87th day and after the rituals that I came back to Chennai, in the mean time I called one of the neighbours and asked him to inform the Dhobi woman.

The day after I got back to Chennai I sent for the dhobi woman , she came and told me “Amma Zubaida has gone” I thought she has taken up another assignment as I was away for so long so I said “ask her if she will come back if I pay her for the 3 months I was away” She responded with tears in her eyes “ Amma , almost two or three weeks after you left Zubaida was working at her home making ‘upma’ for her sons when the stove burst and her sari caught fire . She struggled for life for two days in the hospital.”

As it is my nerves were strained watching Mom die and I come back and here this! I just sat down and howled my heart out. What the dhobi woman said after that made me cry even more. She said when she gained conscious in between the two things she said was, her two sons were hungry and should be fed and if something happens to her not to ask for her salary for
the days she worked because she had taken a loan from me and she owed me money.”

I was so touched, until then I had only experienced maids who don’t return the loans they take. Here was a dying woman who must have been in so much pain, talking about the money she owed me. My faith in people honesty which I questioned sometimes was restored. I also thanked providence for having made me give her the loan, though at that time I had a doubt that this may be yet another maid disappearing along with the loan.

Every time someone breaks my trust and to stop myself from trusting others I remind myself that there are Zubaidas’ of this world who are honest and may have a genuine need for the loan. Every time a maid asks me for a loan its Zubaida’s lovely face that before my eyes and I don’t have the heart to refuse despite the innumerable times I have been duped.

Lakshmi & Anu

2010-01-07T19:39:00.003-08:00

Lakshmi and Anu
Once again I was alone, as my daughter had left home to does her PG. Would have opted for a part time help but for Zephyr who loved human company. There was this very close friend of mine, who had a good part time maid who worked part time in 8 houses and it was taking a toll on her health. My friend suggested that I keep her on my 6am to 6pm assignment with permission to be away for a couple of hours to do my friend’s household work too. Are houses were about 3 kilometers apart so she suggested give her cycle to commute between our houses. I agreed to that because I knew she was good at her work she had been at my friends place for a year. What I did not know was that she was a good gossip too. She was used to working in 8 houses and narrating at each place what happened at the other places. Now she had only two houses to work in and not enough tales to carry so she started spicing it up on her own! She created a lot of problems between me and my friend before we realized what she was up to. One day we confronted her in both our presence and the cat was out of the bag .There after she realized this was not going to work, so she at least reduced the gossip it was in any case too much to expect of to stop gossiping.
Lakshmi’s husband was a carpenter who worked and earned well but drank away to the last rupee. Lakshmi slogged to keep the family going with the help of her son who was an apprentice to a carpenter. There was no knowing when Lakshmi would not turn up for work and for how long, it all depended on how badly her husband in his drunken state beat her up. She would turn after a couple of days looking so pathetic that you would not have the heart to haul her up. What do you tell a women who turned with a swollen face or an injured hand or a broken tooth? At one point I got so tiered of her erratic work schedules that I asked her to leave but she talked me into keeping her daughter Anu. I agreed not knowing what I was letting myself in for. The girl was a cheerful kid , just 15 ½ years .She had only two interests in life drawing Kolams( rangoli ) and watching the TV.I tried to get interested in continuing her studies she tried to please me for a week then told me I have no interest in learning , I only like to draw kolams . The book I had given to write English alphabets in was filled cover to cover in Kolam designs after a month or so I gave up trying to teach her instead gave her color pencils and an empty note book to do kolam designs. I did all this despite the fact that she was lousy at work in the hope that she would learn to work in a month or two. But she was totally uninterested in work it was like her mother had left her at her grandmother’s place for a holiday. She enjoyed her stay drawing kolams and watching every Tamil TV serial in every channel throughout the day. It was only when she heard the car drive in when I returned from office that she would rush to clean the house, the dishes would be lying in the sink since morning when she helped me in the kitchen with the cooking. I tried Sam, dam, vend with her with no results. I got her small little gift like a nail polish or a hair clip or fancy earring etc as an incentive if she did all the jobs assigned to her, I tried scolding her (I do not think I ever scolded anyone as much as I scolded her), I tried sitting down on Sundays and explaining to her why she should work well and be a support to her mother and help her to put the two younger kids back into school. She would agree with me but her work would be undone or some shabby work done in between serial watching. The only thing that worked with her was threatening to send her away. Her endearing quality was her love for me, however much I scolded her she would never get angry she was always cheerful, I think that was the reason I kept her for full 4 months though right from the job of waking her up, making her have a bath, sweep and mop the house for each task I had to really strain myself. The last straw was when I found a Kolam design on the wall! I gave up training her to be a good maid and a source of help to her mother. So she was off and her mom Lakshmi back at work promising to come regularly or at least inform if she was not coming.
Thereafter, the same routine continued, Lakshmi would come to work one day disappear another day pop up again after a couple of days crying that she was beaten up black and blue. The last time she came back she assured me then onward I would not have a problem she was going to stay in my house as she had left her husband and kids in their home in the village and had come back alone.
She had to vacate rented accommodation in Chennai almost every third month either because of the inability to pay rent or more often than not because of drunken brawls at home which the neighbors complained about. She said she had learnt her lesson and she was staying in my house and working at my place and wanted help to get her daughter a job which I did in a friend’s place where she had to just look after a baby and not do household work. She said I need to give her, her salary only when she goes to the village for diwali which was 3 months away so that she can put her two youngest kids in school. Everything was fine for 3 months as far as work was concerned she and her daughter Anu working in my friends place saved up quite a tidy sum for their first trip to village after the new arrangement. She missed her kids a lot and wanted to carry gifts for them since I wanted her to put the kids in school and not waste away their life’s I did not want her to spend her savings so I got new clothes not only for Lakshmi but for Anu and the two younger kids paid her salary which and was very sure she would return two days after diwali but two months passed by with no information. much later I came to know from my friend whose place she used to work in whom she had a pending loan with that there was a massive fight between Lakshmi and her husband and Lakshmi doused herself and the kids with kerosene and tried set all of them on fire and that they survived but were under treatment for burns. I decided not to keep her even if she returned. She has not returned to this day.

Lakshmi

2010-01-07T19:39:00.002-08:00

LAKSHMI

This was one person who loved what she did. All maids always had a sob story to tell on why they were domestic help, this one too. In fact to me it sounded worse than other tales I had heard. She had a series of miscarriages and every time she delivered a baby none survived beyond 5 to six years of age .She had lost 4 to 5 kids. Probably it was some genetic problem. Only once she told me her tales of woe. She was a survivor. She was never bitter. She had just decided to be happy. She was always cheerful and boisterous in her love of life.

In retrospect, people come into our life, I think on a purpose. I was going through a difficult phase in life .I had given up working after 20 years. Relocated from Gujarat to Chennai on account of my husband changing his job. I did not find it feasible to come from Gujarat to Chennai for seeking a job as my husband had already shifted and I and my daughter were still at Gujarat. I took a risk of leaving a job I had been in for 16 plus years, which I loved and coming to Chennai and then looking out for one .It was also an attempt to keep a sinking marriage afloat. Probably that was a mistake, without the job to keep me mentally occupied I was full time pondering over the problems with the marriage, depression being the outcome...

Hardly two months into being in Chennai, I was just beginning to start applying for a job and here was my husband talking of starting off a business in Delhi at times or switching to another job in Bangalore. By then,I was in mood to deal with the uncertainty any longer. I told him I had enough. I was staying put in Chennai till my daughter finished her schooling. By then my daughter’s schooling had started and I was keen we do not shift her from school to school , state to state , one third language to another. He never the less decided he wanted to go ahead with his plans to shift and I decided I had enough of striving to make the marriage work.

All this digression from the Lakshmi incident was to highlight my mental state at the time Laksmi came into my life. She was God send. With my state of depression and my non existent culinary skills my poor child would probably have starved in addition to facing the tense situation at home. At least Lakshmi ensured everyone has sumptuous food on the table and of course her constant cheerful disposition was a blessing. From the loud boisterous “Good morning ‘Motacoose’ (that’s what she called my daughter never understood what that meant), at Six sharp in the morning till she left at 1 O’clock, it was sound of fun and laughter .She would go back home after lunch and be back at 5 in the evening for preparing dinner, so by the time my daughter was back she was around with her laughter and chatter.

She had a store house of amusing incidents to narrate; I wonder now, whether she made them up because she sensed my unhappy state. Considering the mess my life was in at that point in time I think it was her constant chatter that stopped me from completely going over the bend.

She was with me for those difficult 2 years. Because of the situation, the next academic year I yielded to putting my daughter in a boarding school. At least she will not have to deal with the everyday unpleasant issues at home. With her also gone, Lakshmi’s presence was like sunshine in an otherwise graveyard like situation.

Soon my husband left for Bangalore and I shifted house in Chennai itself. I met a neighbor friend a few months after shifting and amongst catching up with one another she asked me “ Usha what made you give away such fabulous saris to Lakshmi? “ Only then I realized she had been siphoning away things from home which I had not even noticed given my mental state. This was the second time someone was stealing things from home. But this time round I did not feel cheated. I just felt that for what she meant for me at that time she just deserved all that she took!

Ammu 2

2010-01-07T19:39:00.001-08:00

Ammu
Lalitha insisted that I keep her daughter Ammu after sarasa’s marriage. Sarasa warned me that I would not find Ammu suitable. I never the less agreed as lalitha had borrowed a hefty sum for Sarasa’s wedding saying she would work for me and I could recover from her salary. Now she wanted her daughter Ammu to work she promised whenever she was free she would come to work in place of Ammu.
Ammu was the pretty on e in the family. Lalitha and all the other girls were dark and unkempt but Ammu because she was the beauty in the family got the best clothes and did the least work. The family pampered her, made a big deal about her looks and they were always referring to marrying her off to a wealthy family on account of her looks. She had grown up with these stories and was not used to the idea of having to work for her living. Though only 16 she had marriage proposals from comparatively well off families. She was a reluctant domestic help. She would help me out in the kitchen till I left for work. She was expected to do the cleaning work after I left, but would spend the entire day watching her and before the mirror grooming her.
The only work she was genuinely interested in was cooking. She did not know a thing about cooking but was interested in learning. One Sunday morning she watched me make egg roast. After a week or two one day she offered to make it herself asked her how she would make it she narrated the steps to me , she would boil the eggs, chop onions and ginger, heat oil in a pan fry the onion with the masala powder and then put the boiled eggs in and stir it for 5 min. Since she had got the process right I said okay and went to take a bath when I came out from the bedroom I could hear a strange ‘click clack’ sound from the kitchen. When I peeped in I found she had put the boiled eggs in without removing the shell and hence the strange sound!
I did not mind her not knowing cooking but the house was always dirty. I prided myself on my ‘induction program ‘for maids but I must admit with Ammu I failed. It was like water off a duck’s back. Because of my long association with lalitha and her family I suffered her also because I had to recover the loan I had given Lalitha.I come home one day to hear my daughter say mom get rid of this girl she is absolutely crazy. When I enquire I find out that my daughter was studying in her room for some time she felt she could smell smoke when she came out and asked Ammu she said she did not know where it was coming from so both of them check the kitchen then my room and they discover it is more in the drawing room. My daughter discovers that the smoke was from the crockery cupboard which was closed but full of smoke .On opening it she found one of the large decorative candles lit and kept in a crystal bowl in the cupboard. Ammu told her she just wanted to see how it looked and had forgotten to put it out! That was the last straw, I told Lalitha I could not manage her daughter so we parted with lalitha promising to return the loan but kept postponing till I shifted house and moved out. That was the last of Lalitha and her family and the loan she had taken.

lalitha 2

2010-01-07T19:39:00.000-08:00

LALITHA no. 2

By now my daughter was away at a boarding school, Rishi Valley, Madanapalle, my husband I had separated. With just myself to be fed I thought I could inflict my cooking on myself. So I opted to have a part time maid to do only the cleaning jobs in the morning before I left for work.
Lalitha and her family seemed to have monopoly over the apartment I had shifted to. She and her elder daughter cleaned the common area of the apartment before taking on household work in individual apartments. Her husband was the watchman for the apartment .Her second daughter cleaned and kept their own little shanty in the backyard of the apartment which served as the watchman’s house .The third daughter went to school and on her return looked after the fourth child, actually the fourth was a daughter, but always dressed up as a boy to make up for the lack of a son!

The whole family was up and about doing their respective jobs by 5 in the morning. They were like a gypsy family. Would be at work with disheveled hair straight out of bed. All the kids looked like ragamuffins, grimy and dirty. All sourcing of maids for everyone was done by Lalitha , since I was alone there would not much work according to Lalitha so she declared she would work in my house .It did not sound as though I had a choice in the matter! I told her I need someone who will finish my work before I left for office; she said she would do it soon after common area cleaning which she would largely delegate to her elder daughter.

There was hardly 45 min. of work at my place but she would take an and a half. No she was not slow, in fact she was a fast worker, one of the fastest I have seen. But it was like the apartment complex was her fiefdom she was a busy body who had to know what happened where. One small sound outside, she would drop the work she was doing like a hot potato and dart out to find out who had come or gone, who was having argument with whom... Had she been educated I am sure she would have opted to be a journalist working on one of the gossip columns. She knew exactly who was marrying whom, who was going to have a baby, who had a guest at home, where and why they had come, who was having a fight with which neighbor, etc. She would ferret out all information and only when satisfied, that there was nothing else to learn would she return back to work. I had to as I cooked, to compulsorily listen to her report on important issues of the apartment complex. My pleas to her to keep quiet fell on deaf ears. She needed an audience for her daily reports and everything was reported at peak volume.
Every ten days or so there would be mayhem in the apartment complex. Lalitha and her elder daughter Sarasa having one of their serious fights. They were constantly at each others throat. Sarasa was I discovered the watchman’s daughter by previous marriage. She just hated her stepmother for some reason. Her father, our watchman was actually a mason and Lalitha was a worker at the construction site. Both of them had worked at our apartment complex once the work was over, they decided not to move on to the next construction site; but to stay on at the apartment as watchman and household maid respectively, as it was less taxing than the construction work.
Sarasa had not been to a school, her childhood was spent at one construction site after another looking after the young step sisters. Though she was always fighting with her step mom she loved her three step sisters. The best food she got from the houses she worked in was always kept aside for her sisters. Lalitha was a real slave driver as far as Sarasa was concerned. She would make Sarasa do all their own household work, like giving her kid sisters a bath, washing clothes, cook their dinner and also pester her to work in as many houses as possible in the apartment complex. One day I talked Lalitha into leaving Sarasa in my house the whole day instead of both of them bickering on a daily basis. I offered to teach her cooking and wee bit of English on Sundays. Lalitha agreed, as the fights between the two were really getting out of hand.

Ammu

2010-01-07T19:28:00.004-08:00

Ammu

This was one of those one off experiences. It is in direct contrast to the first incident in this series. This too is about Self esteem, just that in this perhaps mine took a beating!

This was my first and last attempt at getting a maid from a service provider, an agency that arranged for such and allied services. It was one of those expensive propositions since it covered the agencies overheads too. However I went for it thinking I’ll go in for a professional help.

We had to go pick Ammu up from the agency’s office. There was this pretty poised girl dressed in one of those very hip top and jeans waiting for us I thought it was one of the girls working at the agency but it turned out that was ‘Ammu’ the girl we had gone to pick. We were quite impressed with Ammu, though she did not seem too happy getting into the Maruti 800. She enquired enroute if we had another car too!

However, I think the beautifully landscaped campus seemed to compensate for the disappointed, as she exclaimed ‘oh you live here!?’in disbelief! I sighed in relief a bit too early , as she walked into our 2 bedroom flat she asked where her room was .The look on her face when I told she would be sharing one of the rooms with my daughter had to be seen to be believed!

I had to provide extra cupboard space for to keep her clothes as the shelf that all the other maids used was inadequate for her rather extensive collection of clothes. As the days rolled by her collection of clothes almost gave me an inferiority complex. Her last assignment according to her was in home of an upcoming starlet and apparently she was sort of a secretary to her and was expected to dress accordingly.

Within a month of her coming she was grumbling that the room was too small for her as she was not able to do her exercises there! I promised to rearrange the furniture in the room the following Sunday so that she had more space, or else, I told her she could use the semi enclosed balcony.

Sunday morning I had hardly finished my bed tea when I find Ammu standing with all her luggage packed wanting to leave. Her reason for leaving was that she was not used to working in such a small house and she was used to working in bungalows. Well I had no answer to that. I agreed she could leave but asked her to wait till 10 o clock till the agency opened, so that, I could leave her back where I collected her from. But she insisted on leaving on her own immediately. By then I was also quite irritated so I let her go, though in normal course I would have been concerned about letting a young girl go on her own. I asked her if was confident of finding her way, she said she had relatives whose house she knew the way to, and she wanted to go immediately.

Later in the day I went to clean my room and to my shock, I found that the gold chain, bangle and earring I had removed previous day were missing. I got apprehensive and checked all the rooms and found a brand new wrist watch, couple of unstitched dress material, and 3 to 4 sweaters missing. I was fuming mad but, there was nothing I could do. Ammu did not go back the agency. Agency refused to take any responsibility except for promising to give me another maid without charging service charges this time. I was in mood to hire from an agency another time.

That was my first experience of a maid stealing things from home. I did not have a habit of keeping things under lock and key. My mother would keep cautioning me that one of these days I would learn a lesson for such carelessness. Well Ammu proved her right.

venni

2010-01-07T19:28:00.003-08:00

Venni

This is going to be one long saga and painful one. The hunt for a maid was on at Koramangala , Bangalore . Someone at the office said there is a person who comes from the stationary store to deliver stationary in the office ,he is looking for a job for his daughter in our campus. We lived in a beautifully landscaped office cum residential campus in Koramangala. He came to see me the following Sunday at home along with his 17 year old daughter. He was keen on her working on the campus as he came to the office almost every day and the campus was well guarded so he thought it was a safe place for his daughter. He said every month one weekend he would come and take his daughter home to meet her mom and sisters.

That’s how Venni came into our household. She was seventeen, had studied up to the 8th and then discontinued her studies and had gone to work at another house but her father said that place was not safe as everyone went to work and she was alone the whole day, here at least it was well guarded with watchman round the clock and since everyone worked in the same office all neighbors were known to one another. I took it as natural for the father to be cautious about were his daughter worked though in retrospect it should have struck me that he was more concerned than usual .

She was neat and clean, knew how to go about household work and eager to help me in the kitchen and pick up cooking. I was relieved that without too much of a hassle I had got someone. Venni was also very good at handling my daughter who was by then quite a handful.

Things went well for a couple of years, though at times my mother in law, who came on a visit, did mention to me that in the afternoons she gets telephone calls and is on the telephone for quite awhile . I asked her about it she said it was her mom or brothers and sisters who called and I had no reason to disbelieve so I let it be.

Venni had become a part of the family by then. Every first Saturday of the month she would collect her salary and go home for the week end and come back late evening on Sunday. Initially her father used to come and pick her up and drop her after the first six months he said she could be sent on her own , she would also return on her own.. There were no complaints, she came at the usual time was very contentious girl always did all her work well and most importantly she and my daughter got on very well. She took care of her as well as a mother would.

Towards the end of her second year with us we did notice she was taking greater pains over her appearance. She came back from home with jasmine in her hair, started wearing half sari, bangles, generally decking herself up. I ascribed it to her age and just ignored it. One afternoon at office Venni’s dad after delivering stationary came to see me. Very hesitantly he asked if I could send Venni home that week end as her mother wanted to see her.” Anything special? “I asked, since she was 19 I thought perhaps they were planning her marriage.” No” he said, “since she has not come home this month her mother wanted to see her”.

I was shell shocked. It was holidays for my daughter so we had driven down to Kerala, spent two weeks there left my daughter with my parents for her vacation and returned the previous day which was a Sunday.Venni had gone home for the two weeks and returned the previous evening. I told him I was away for two weeks and had sent her home and she had come back the previous evening so what was he saying. Her father went pale; he said “Amma, Venni told us she is going with you to Kerala she was not at home for the last two weeks.

I wish I had gone home immediately and confronted her. Since I had work at office I told her father to come back in the evening after his work and we sort this issue out then. I further messed it up by calling her up and made her father speak to her , as he was very agitated ,. He asked her were she was last two weeks she told him, she had gone to her friends place instead of going home as there were two weeks and she would have got bored at home. Her father left after that saying he would come home at 8 at night on his way back home.

Around 4 in the evening, I get a call in the office from my next door neighbor asking me to come immediately as Venni had gone to her house looking very ill and wanted me to come home. I rushed home to find Venni collapsed on my neighbor’s sofa crying .As soon as she saw me she fell into my arms pleading “take me to the hospital”. She would not respond to my question what was wrong with her. She kept saying “take me to the hospital, take me to the hospital” When I insisted she said “I have consumed ‘BAYGON’”, an insecticide used to kill cockroaches.

I rushed her to St. Johns which was close by. They pumped out the contents of her stomach, called me aside to tell me “the girl is pregnant” and since it was a suicide attempt they did not want to keep her there. I had to shift her to a Govt hospital and the police was informed. Dealing with the police for the first time I was terrified and the Govt hospital experience a nightmare. By then Venni was unconscious and having convulsions which was a terrifying sight. I was sobbing and the police man on duty sat nonchalantly chewing pan and assuring me at regular intervals he had seen many such cases and giving me all the gory details. The doctor on duty had probably seen many more such cases as he sat at his night shift duty station deeply engrossed in the Jeffery Archer book!

It took 48 hours for the girl to gain conscious .Of course by then her parents were there by her side. I was worried they would blame us but they told me that they were aware of her affair with a boy from the school she studied in and that was the reason for discontinuing her studies and the reason for putting at a more secure place as she was continuing to see the boy at place she earlier worked in. She had spent the two weeks we were away with this boy. I tried to talk the parents to promise to get them married as soon as the boy gets a job. But he was just a year older than her. I don’t know what they did. The hospital discharged Venni, she pleaded with me to take her back as she was scared of what her father would do to her for the disgrace she had brought to the family. I was too scared to keep her after that so I cleared the bills at the hospital handed her over to her parents and went back home .It took me two full days of sleeping to have the strength to get back on my feet. And it took me a long while ,to pick up the courage to keep a live in maid after that.

Shobha

2010-01-07T19:28:00.002-08:00

SHOBHA

She was god send. Till my daughter a year old, the two sets of grandparents took turns to take care of her while I went to work. My mother in law and father in law came and stayed with us in Delhi and when they left my mom came and spent time with us. I will always remain so grateful to them .It would have caused them immense inconvenience to close down their establishments and help me cope with the baby and commitments at the work place. I had no idea how I would get back to work. I was able to be home till my daughter was three months old, by then I had exhausted all my leave. I did not have the heart to leave her in a crèche at least till she was a year old. Luckily the grandparents bailed me out.
Along with her first birthday came the transfer to Bombay, now Mumbai. Luckily unlike at Delhi, in Bombay the firm I worked with had a campus which meant that the office and the residence were in the same complex. That in itself was a big relief; however, I still needed a maid. My first experience with a live in maid. One of the security guards on the campus had a fifteen year old daughter who I employed.

Just fifteen years old and yet so professional. In all these years there have been only one or two instances of such professionalism. She had only one weakness – clothes. She loved pretty dresses and asked me not to reveal to her dad, the salary raise, I offered, once I discovered how good she was at her work. She would put away a small amount every month in a pearl pet jar in the kitchen. I offered to help her start a bank account but no; she loved to have it in the jar so that she could see it grow every month. Any tips from relatives who visited would all go right into the jar. So would all the cash received on festivals or birthdays.

Once the amount in the jar reached a tidy sum, there was no way I could avoid a trip to either Dadar or Bandra. I was new to Bombay and living on the campus I did not have to travel much .I dreaded the travel I had to undertake once in 3 to 4 months.Shobha would drag me to the Railway station .The crowds there was what I was scared of. I dreaded the fact that I would have to board the train in a fraction of a second that was left for the train to take off after what seemed like the whole of humanity poured out at the station. Shobha would carry my daughter in one hand and position me in front of her and push me into the door way of the train at the appropriate moment. Disembarking did not demand much effort, the crowd pushed you out but of course you had to ensure you were not pushed out at the wrong station! Once at Dadar or Bandra I would take charge of my daughter leaving Shobha free to flit from dresses to artificial jewelry to hair bands, back to dresses. Once she had her fill we would head back home with a repeat performance of boarding and disembarking at the stations and flowing out of the station along with the rest of humanity. Humanity seemed to flow towards VT in the forenoon and towards Malad in the evenings. I used to wonder what would happen if one were headed in the reverse direction. There would be no way one could thread ones way in the opposite direction, through that constant flow.
Though Shobha handled the entire household work including cooking, cleaning, baby sitting, you would never find her with a hair out of place. She was neat, clean, always well dressed and calm and collected. She was just as particular with my daughter’s appearance. When she brought my daughter down in the evenings to play she would shoe socks on her handkerchief pinned on her dress, really prim and proper accompanied by Shobha also equally prim and proper.
She kept the house too in the same manner all the toys and story books strewn around by my daughter would be in their allotted places before she open the door to anyone.
When I moved out of Bombay though she could have found a job anytime in Bombay she came with me to Bangalore for a couple of months so that I could get a maid at Bangalore train her and then part with Shobha. Once I found a substitute Shobha was dropped back at Bombay.
Unfortunately for me the one I got in her place Anita only lasted a month, I gave up getting her deloused. There were so many in her hair and she had very thick & long hair, that it was a losing battle so we parted ways in a month.

Mahipal

2010-01-07T19:28:00.001-08:00

Mahipal

This was during Delhi days. First time I had a male as a domestic help or so I thought. The guy was very conscious of the quality of his work .The floor he swept and mopped would glisten like glazed tiles of today, though it was mosaic flooring. Clothes too would look bright and fresh once he had washed them, dried it out in the sun on the terrace and pressed them as well as a professional ‘dhobi’.

He was just superb in his work, but every second month he had to go to his village. He stayed alone in Delhi, I guess he wanted to give his salary to people back home in the village. When he went he would be away for a week or ten days. The day before he left as he mopped the floor sitting on his haunches, he would linger on where I sat reading the news paper and having my morning cup of tea. I knew he wanted to ask for leave so I would purposely ignore him. He would sit mopping the same place, till I asked what is it Mahipal ? He would not look up, in fact his head would dip further down and he would mumble “ chutti chahiye“( I want Leave ) I would ask him why has your “Chacha( uncle) died again?” he would giggle and say “ yes, it’s another chacha”

Every time he wanted leave it was the only reason he could think of, his uncle’s death! He knew we saw through his lie but he would still give the same reason. He would giggle every time I asked how many more uncles do you have ? Once in a way to add credibility to his story he would say he is taking leave to give his salary to his family and would be back in two days . He would return 10 days later, once again because his‘ chacha’ died . As he said it he would giggle, yes giggle is the right world , it was not a grown up man’s laughter but little child’s giggle. He was so child like you could never be angry with him, there was this elusive endearing quality about him.

I noticed quite often that he had very effeminate gestures and expressions. When I mentioned it to one of my neighbours , she told me “look out of your window at six in the evening , you will find Mahipal transform” .Six sharp that evening there was this person in a shocking pink salwar kameez with long artificial hair plaited with tassles swinging and a bright smile, lips painted red and kajal linned eyes , who on close examination turned out to be Mahipal.

He was a very affectionate person. Though cooking was not one of his assignments, if he found that I was not well any morning, without being asked, he would put in an extra hour cook something for me to have. After completing his work in other houses on his way back he would drop in to check if I need any help.

Unfortunately, he fell ill, became very weak and decieded to go back to his village .That was the last we heard of him. Wonder what happened to him. He was a tormented soul, torn between being a man and a woman, facing society’s jeers.

lalitha

2010-01-07T19:18:00.000-08:00

LALITHA
I had no clue how to handle domestic help (maids ) not just that , I had no clue how to run the house hold either. Until then someone else ran the show, I just got up, dressed up and showed up! When at home, Mom ran the place with iron hands. No one interfered in her domain, not that she would have brooked any interference. College hostels too the Nuns ran with clockwork precision. Once work life commenced it was YWCA, once again no say in its daily routine.
Suddenly one fine day , after the wedding celebrations ,the statutory visits to relatives, the honeymoon, you wake up to a day when you get hit on the head with the thought that tea, breakfast, lunch, dinner, will not be waiting for you when you show up. You have to get it there on the table for which you need to cook it, to cook, you need to stock the ingredients, replenish them at regular intervals.. a whole lot of planning went into it. Not just the planning , the execution demands that you are up and about well in advance to see the stage is set before the rest of the household gets up, dresses up and shows up! Even before you can sigh in relief that the house hold is fed, you see that mounting heap of vessels in the sink. Oh, you need to do the dishes too! There is the clothes hamper too, bursting at its seams with clothes that need to washed , dried ,ironed and stacked in their respective piles in the wardrobe. Hold on, what about all that dust on the furniture, floor , the window sills ? That needs to be dusted, swept, mopped!
You have no idea how my admiration for my Mom hit the roof. I wondered why I had not noticed all this activity happening in the background. Things seemed to happen silently, no flurry, no frayed nerves.
Within a month of this ‘Circus of life ‘, it dawned on me, that I need help. If I were to reach office on time, after ensuring breakfast on the table , packed lunch and a clean house, followed by a grueling trip on the DTC ( Delhi Transport Corporation) buses , there was no way I could do it all myself. That’s when the first ever attempt to get domestic help started. Once again had no clue where the search started.
There was this cheerful lady , Lalitha, who came every morning even before the fog had cleared in those cold December mornings to collect “ KUDA “which was the term for household waste from the kitchen. She went from door to door collecting “KUDA” emptied it into a push cart manned by her mother- in- law.
One Sunday morning when she announced her arrival with her usual cheerful “ Maji kuda! “
I asked her “ Lalitha , would you, after you are finished with the Kuda collection, help me out with my household work?”.
She looked surprised, but asked “ You want me to clean the Laterine( toilet)?”
I told her “No,I want you to sweep and mop the house, wash clothes, and do the dishes.”
She stared at me in shock , her jaws dropping to her chest. In a minute or two she she says “ Bhenji , I am a Bhangi .”
Though I spoke Hindi , ‘Bhangi’ was a new term for me.
” What’s that? “ I asked her.
She laughs and says “ We belong to ‘Bhangi’ community , we are not allowed inside houses, we clear the kuda and clean latrines”.
I told her “That is okay you can come here wash your hands and feet with soap in the wash room and then do my work.” She did not know how to respond.
She told me “ I will talk to my mother- in- law and tell you”.
From my balcony I could see her and her m- in- law have a very excited conversation . She came back beaming saying she would come to work from the next day onwards.
Next day break, she was there dressed in all her finery. It was like she was celebrating an important event in her life. She was doing work of an elevated status. Something she had not even dreamt of. My heart went out to her. The trouble she took to be extra clean for fear of offending me, and being reverted to being a “ Kuda walli”. I gave her a few of my clothes and told her not to spoil her best clothes by wearing it to work. Her status in the family went up, Ma – in- law inducted her daughter into collecting kuda and Lalitha no longer had to go door to door.
Lalitha was a torch bearer, she had a place of honor in her community. Within six months of her working with me, one of the neighbors called her for household work at their place, once she was done with mine. I shifted house after 6 years of staying in that house. I was expecting a baby and needed to move to a more spacious house. By then, Lalitha used to do my cooking too, as I was having a difficult pregnancy. She worked in three houses in the neighborhood. She was one of the cleanest, best dressed, maid in the neighborhood. People vied with one another for a few hours of her time. By then her sister- in- law too did household work in a few of the flats.
The entire family’s gratitude to me was so touching. It was a humbling experience. Unknowingly, I had built her self esteem. She was able to break out of a mould which she until then believed was a given , not alive to the fact that the world had changed and was willing to accept her as a human being.
The metamorphosis of a caterpillar to a butterfly was truly awesome.

some signs and symptoms of Inner Peace

2009-05-25T21:07:00.000-07:00

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences
An unmistable ability to enjoy each moment
A loss of interest in judging other people
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others
A loss of interest in conflict
A loss of ability to worry
Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation
Contended feelings of connectedness with others and nature
Frequent attacks of smiling
An increasedsusceptibility to the love extended by othersas well as uncontollable urge to extend it.

7th Sense

2008-11-14T03:57:00.001-08:00

When environment is hostile , many animals go into hibernation. Their heartbeat , respiration rate and temperature drop drastically. They seem to ‘sleep’ through hard times. When caught in a strong ocean current , a seahorse drifts gracefully with it until it passes by an underwater plant. It then uses its tail; to cling on the plant until the current passes by.

Let ends be worthy of your toil or you toil in vain. When the going gets tough , don’t just get going. Pause , think and asses s the situation sensibly. Evaluate the options available .
Withdraw into a cocoon when an unannounced storm in your life appears , and thus remain until it passes by. Flow with the situation while not losing touch with your roots. Gigantic trees are uprooted in a typhoon but smaller plants bend with the wind and live on.
Use the periods of lull in life to retrospect and plan.Retrospect on the path you have thus far trodden and put into perspective the path ahead.

7th Sense

2008-11-14T03:55:00.000-08:00

The bald eagle has a life span of 50 years .When it reaches 40,its beak and claws begin to bend .The curvatures prevent it from catching prey. Its weight increases because it can no longer pluck excess feathers off its body. Flying itself becomes agonizingly difficult. The majestic eagle is thus rendered distressingly helpless and feeble at prime of its life. Then something incredible happens . The eagle dashes itself against rocks until the beak breaks off . it then retires into solitude. For three months the eagle survives without food or flight.Three months later , a new and sharp beak grows back.The eagle then pulls out excess feathers on its body and trims its claws.It soars the skies again and begins a new phase of life in all its majesty.
When weighed down and alone in life, never look up and lament ‘O destiny you have given me the vast sky but taken away my wings with which to fly”.Look into the sky instead and think of the eagle that scripted its own destiny. The process of renewal may take time and may be painful , but when it is done , you will begin life anew in all its splendor . Thus you shall be reborn to triumph.

7th Sense

2008-11-14T03:52:00.000-08:00

Camouflage and disguise are amazing displays in a world of predator and prey.
Be in receptive harmony with people and events occurring around you .Blend in with your environment and try not to look like a person apart from it even if in fact you really are.Trying to be different may not always make you a trendsetter . On contrary , you may be branded as a deviant and a misfit , especially by those who see in you a threat.
Interest others with your uniqueness if you must , but not to the point of intimidating them.Apear ordinary and conserve your distinctive skills and assets to be deployed at the right time and place.That’s the mark of extraordinary survivors and winners

WEEPING BUILDINGS

2008-11-14T03:49:00.000-08:00

Couped up in an office building made of glass
Every wall a window, to the outside world
The world outside dancing, dancing in the rain
Trees washed green, under nature’s shower

Sitting by my table, facing the glass wall
I wonder why I am doing , what I am doing
Should I not be, there in the rain
amongst the dancing trees?

Here I am, inside a weeping building
The rain runs off glass cheeks like tears
What sorrow does the building house?
Or are these tears of joy and pride?

To make the sheets of glass stand proud and tall
Amidst the constant flow of traffic
Hundreds risked their lives,is it pain
Or is it pride they feel when the work is complete?

The Field of the Future

2008-11-10T19:38:00.000-08:00

The key to deeper levels of learning is that the larger living wholes of which we are an active part are not inherently static.Like all living systems , they both conserve features essential to their existence and seek to evolve. When we become more aware of of the dynamic whole, we also become more aware of what is emerging.
....
Entrepreneurial ability is an expression of the capacity to sense an emerging reality and to act in harmony with it.
...Every profound innovation is based on an inward bound journey , on going to a deeper place where knowing comes to the surface.
...
This inward bound journey lies at the heart of all creativity, whether in the arts , in business, or in science.Many scientistsand inventors, like artists and entrepreneurs, live in a paradoxical state of great confidence and profound humility - knowing their choices and actions matter and feeling guided by forces beyond their making.
Can living instituitions learn to tap into a larger field to guide them toward what is healthy for the whole?What understanding and capacity will this require of people individually and collectively?
Peter senge in Presence

Presennce

2008-11-10T19:27:00.000-08:00

All Learning integrates thinking and doing.In reactive learning , thinking is governed by established mental models and doing is governed by established habits of action.
deeper levels of learning create increasing awareness of the larger whole - both as it is and as it is evolving - and actions that increasingly become part of creating alternative futures
....
All learning integrates thinking and doing .All learning is about how we interact in the world and the types of capacities that develop from our interactions . What differs is the depth of the awareness and the consequent source of action.If awareness never reaches beyond superficial events and current circumstances, actions will be reactions.If on the other hand , we peneterate more deeply to see the larger wholes that generate "what is" and our own connection to this wholeness, the source and effectiveness of our actions can change dramatically.

Peter Senge

Anguish

2008-11-05T22:29:00.000-08:00

In The fifth discipline Peter Senge says "I believe that the prevailing system of management is at its core dedicated to mediocrity. It forces people to work harder and harder to compensate for failing to tap the spirit and collective intelligence that charachterises working together at their best"
Can anything be more meaningless. No I don't mean what Peter Senge is saying is meaningless !
What I am talking of is the prevailing system of Management . Being a HR professional I guess it is sacreligious to say this but i do think the culprits are so called HR Professionals. Our sense of identity comes from complicating the ordinary with complex processes: which gets outdated in a few years ,so to sustain ourselves we bottle it in a more complex shaped bottle and have have no qualms about the content being the same. First and forefost there was nothing wrong with the simple content so there is no reason to change it but if don't pretend there is a change we have not kept up with times ,the latest jargon in the latest book on the shelf!

Something as simple as goal setting and review, becomes Management by Objectives, becomes Key Performance Indicators, but some would swear by Key Result Areas, no thats not impressive enough it should be Balanced Score Card or else you are doomed !

That is not enough you have to rate me on a scale , put me into a 3X3 matrix , Leaders are put into a quandry, they have to get work out of people they have put into a "label" which is compulsory because there is a theoritical number in each category ,a forced percentage for each
cell in the matrix , there is a bellcurve to be fitted into. After all this is done the TEAM is expected to work as a TEAM ! Team Building workshops during the year and the year ends with your Bell Curves and Matrix ensures that there is discontent , and rumbling in the so called team .

To make matters worse we reward and give importance to RAPPORT BUILDING, COMMUNICATION ,MANAGERIAL STYLE ,INFLUENCING all very good skills , extremely useful in the corporate world , but have we ever thought what these skills mean in the absence of equally important attitudes and orientation like INTEGRITY,EQUITY& FAIRNESS,RESPECT FOR OTHERS ,EMPATHY ?

We need to give this a lot of thought.
If these highly valued skills are very low , though we may have the right orientation/attitude it makes us simple folks , we get taken advantage of and we are not effective though we may be good people.
If we neither have the skill nor the right orientation/attitude we are no better than a street bully.
The much greater concern is the large number of people populating organisations especially rising higher in the hierarchy on account of their exceptionally good skills that are so valued by the corporate sector despite the fact that they lack the essential right orientation/attitude.We fail to realise that they are just street bullies who have grown into being CORPORATE POLITICIANS!( they justify it by calling themselves STRATEGIC ! )

It is pathetic that we have to search for Leaders who have both the skills and the right orientation and attitude, they are far too few.

What then is Human Resource Development ? Of what worth are we HR professionals when we see this happening in our organisations but are impotent to do anything about it, worse still we are also in the same rat race , competeting to be the best corporate politician? Is that what STRATEGIC HR is all about?

Learning Organisation

2008-10-23T02:07:00.000-07:00

Learning organisations are possible because, deep down, we are all learners. No one has to teach an infant to learn.In fact no one has to teach infants anything. They are intrinsically inquisitive, masterful learnerswho learn to walk, speak, and pretty much run their households all on their own.Learning organisations are possible because not only is it in our nature to learn but we love to learn. Most of us at one time or another have been part of a great team, a group of people who functioned together in an extraordinary way - who trusted one another, who complemented one another's strengths and compensated for one another's limitations, who had common goals that were larger than individual goals, and who produced extraordinary results. I have met people who have experienced this sort of profound teamwork - in sports , or in performing arts, or in business.Many say that they have spent much of their life looking for that experience again.What they experienced was a learning organisation.The team that became great did not start off great - it learned how to produce extraordinary results.

DEATH

2008-10-23T01:36:00.000-07:00

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death , open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one , even as the river and the sea are one.
.......
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Reason and Passion

2008-10-22T22:53:00.000-07:00

Your reason and your passion are your rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.

If either your sails or your rudder be broken , you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid - seas.

For reason , ruling alone , is a force confining; and passion , unattended , is a flame that burns to its own destruction.

Therefoe , let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion , that it may sing;

And let it direct your passionwith reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.

Joy and Sorrow

2008-10-22T22:21:00.000-07:00

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

GIVING

2008-10-22T22:13:00.000-07:00

You often say ,"I would give but only to the deserving"
The trees in your ochard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to recieve his days and his nights , is worthy of all else from you.
And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.
.....

NOW

2008-10-22T04:36:00.000-07:00

To have your attention in the Now is not a denial of what is needed in your life.It is recognising what is primary .then you can deal with what is secondary with great ease. It is not saying , "I'm not dealing with things anymore because there is only the Now". No. Find what is primary first and make the Now into your friend, not your enemy.Acknowledge it, honor it . When the Now is the foundation and primary focus of your life , then your life unfolds with ease.

This Moment

2008-10-22T04:11:00.000-07:00

This one moment - Now - is the only thing you can never escape from, the one constant factor in your life.No matter what happens , no matter how much your life changes , one thing is certain ; it's always Now.
Since there is no excape from Now , why not welcome it, become friendly with it?
When you make friends with the present moment , you feel at home no matter where you are.When you don't feel at home in the Now , no matter where you go , you will carry unease with you.

seeking

2008-10-22T04:03:00.000-07:00

The egoic self is always engaged in seeking.It is seeking more of this or that to add to itself, to make itself feel more complete.This explains the ego's compulsive preoccupation with future.

Whenever you become aware of yourself "living for the next moment" you have already stepped out pf that egoic mind pattern , and the possibility of choosing to give your full attention to this moment arises simultaneously.

By giving your full attention to this moment, an intelligence far greater than the egoic mind enters your life.

Need to oppose

2008-10-22T03:59:00.000-07:00

Built into the very stucture of the egoic self is a need to oppose , resist , and exclude to maintain the sense of seperateness on which its continued survival depends.So there is "me" against the "other" , "us" against "them".

The Egoic Self

2008-10-22T03:50:00.000-07:00

In your dealings with people , can you detect subtle feelings of either superiority or inferiority toward them?You are looking at ego , which lives through comparison.

Envy is a by-product of the ego, which feels diminished if something good happens to someone else, or someone has more, knows more, or can do more than you. The ego's identity depends on comparison and feeds on more . It will grasp at anything, If all fails , you can strenghten your ficticious sense of self through seeing yourself as more unfairly treated by life or more ill than someone else.

What are the stories , the fiction from which you derive your sense of self?

The Truth

2008-10-22T03:46:00.000-07:00

The Truth is far more all - encompassing than the mind could ever comprehend. No thought can encapsulate the Truth. At best , it can point to it. For example , it can say " All things are intrinsically one" That is a pointer , not an explanation.Understanding these words means feeling deep within you the truth to which they point.

Beyond thinkinking mind

2008-10-22T03:39:00.000-07:00

Artistic creation,sports,dance,teaching,counseling - mastery in any field of endeavor implies that the thinking mind is either no longer involved at all or at least is taking second place.A power and intelligence greater than you and yet one with you in essence takes over.There is no decision -making process anymore; spontaneous right action happens , and "you" are not doing it. Mastery of life is opposite of control.You become aligned with the greater consciousness. 'It' acts,speaks,does the works.

Spitritual awakening

2008-10-22T03:34:00.000-07:00

Spiritual awakening is awakening from the dream of thought.

when you are immersed in compulsive thinking, you are avoiding what is.You don't want to be where you are. Here,Now.

still alertness

2008-10-22T03:29:00.000-07:00

When you become aware of silence ,immediately there is that state of inner still alertness. You are present. You have steppedout of thousands of years of collective human conditioning.

Look ar a tree , a flower, a plant.Let your awareness rest upon it.How still they are, how deeply rooted in Being.Allow nature to teach you stillness.

suffering

2008-10-22T03:15:00.000-07:00

Is suffering necessary? Ye and no.

If you had not suffered as you have ,there would be no depth to you as a human being , no humility, no compassion. You would not be reading this now.Suffering cracks open the shell of ego , and then comes a point when it has served its purpose.Suffering is necessary untill you realise it is unnecessary.

spiritual practice

2008-10-20T20:58:00.000-07:00

If you can recognise , even occassionaly the thoughts that go through your mind as simply thoughts , if you can witness your own mental- emotional reactive patterns as they happen , then that dimension is already emerging in you as the awareness in which thoughts and emotions happen - the timeless inner space in which the content of your life unfolds.

The stream of thi9nking has enormous moment

Beyond the thinking mind

2008-10-20T20:50:00.000-07:00

Most people spend their entire life imprisoned within the confines of their own thoughts.They never go beyond a narrow , mind made , personalised sense of self that is conditioned by the past.

In you , as in each human being , there is a dimension of consciousness far deeper than thought. It is the very essence of who you are .We may call it presence,awareness, the unconditioned consciousness.In the ancient teachings it is the Christ within or your Buddha nature.

Finding that dimension frees you and the world from the suffering you inflict on yourself and others when the mind made " little me"is all you know and runs your life.

Silence and stillness

2008-10-20T20:38:00.000-07:00

When you look at a tree or a human being in stillness, who is looking? Something deeper than the person. Consciousness is looking at its creation.

Do you need more knowledge ? Is more information going to save the world, or faster computers, more scientific or intellectual analysis? Is it not wisdom that humanity needs most at this time?

But what is wisdom and where is it to be found? Wisdom comes with the ability to be still. Just look and just listen. No more is needed. Being still , looking and lostening activates the nonconceptual intelligence within you. Let stillness direct your words and actions.

STILLNESS SPEAKS

2008-10-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

Is stillness just the absence of noise and content?No, it is intelligence itself - the underlying consciousnessout of which every form is born.And how could that be seperate from who you are?

The form that you think you are came out of that is being sustained by it.

It is the essence of of all galaxies and blades of grass; of all flowers , trees, birds and all other forms.

Prevailing System of Management

2008-10-20T04:48:00.000-07:00

Prevailing system of Management as DEMMING understood it late in his life why so few Mangers seem to be able to implement real QUALITY Management as he concieved it.
Management by measurement
focusing on short term metrics
devaluing intangibles
(you can only measure 3% of what matters - WE Demming)
Compliance based Cultures
getting ahead by pleasing the boss
Management by fear
Managing outcomes
Management set targets
people are held accountable for meeting Management targets ( regardless of whether they are possible within the existing system and processes)
Right answers Vs Wrong answers
Technical problem solving is emphasised
Diverging ( systemic) problems are discounted
Uniformity
Diversity is a problem to be solved
Conflict is supressed in favor of superficial agreement
Predictability and controlability
To manage is to control
The 'holy trnity of management' is planning , organising,controlling.
Excessive Competitiveness and distrust
competition between people is essential to achieve desired performance
without competion between people there is no innovation
(we have been sold down the river by competition - W E Demming)
Loss of the whole
Fragmentation
local innovations do not spread

The fifth discipline Peter Senge

I believe that the prevailing system of management is at its core dedicated to mediocrity. It forces people to work harder and harder to compensate for failing to tap the spirit and collective intelligence that charachterises working together at their best

Disillusion

2008-10-20T04:41:00.000-07:00

Our prevailing system of management has destroyed our people.People are born with intrinsic motivation,self respect, dignity, curiosity to learn, joy in learning.The forces of destruction begin toddlers - aprize for the best Halloween costume, grades in school , gold stars - and on up through University. On the job, people, teams and divisions are ranked, reward for the top , punishment for the bottom. management by objectives, quotas, incentive pay, business plan put together seperately division by division, causes further loss , unknown and unknowable .

W E Demming

coincidence

2008-10-02T00:03:00.000-07:00

THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCE AND NOTHING HAPPENS BY ACCIDENT . EACH EVENT AND ADVENTURE IS CALLED TO YOURSELF BY YOUR SELF IN ORDER THAT YOU MIGHT CREATE AND EXPERIENCE WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR REALITY AND LIFECAN SHOW UP NO OTHER WAY FOR YOUTHANTHAT WAYIN WHICH YOU THINK IT WILL.
YOUR THOUGHT IS THE PARENT WHICH GIVES BIRTH TO ALL THINGS.
YOU CAN BE , DO AND HAVE WHATEVER YOU CAN IMAGINE.
THOUGHT IS CREATIVE.

trail

2008-10-01T23:58:00.000-07:00

Know that what you do in the time of your greatest trial can be your greatest triumph. For the experience you create is a statement of who you are - and who you want to be.

create yourself

2008-10-01T23:50:00.000-07:00

you are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew. Seek therefore not to find out who you are,seek to determine who you want to be.
There is only one purpose for all of life, and that is for all that lives to experience fullest glory.

Loving

2008-10-01T23:42:00.000-07:00

You have been taught to live in fear. You have been told about the survival of the fittest,the victory of the strongest and the sucess of the cleverest. Precious little is said about the glory of the most loving.
Love is the energy which expands,opens up,sendsout,stays,reveals,shares,heals.

Dichotomy of God

2008-10-01T23:26:00.000-07:00

your will for you is God's will for you.

You are living your life the way you are living your life, and I have no preference in the matter.

This is the grand illussion in which you have engaged,that God cares one way or the other what you do.

I have given you free will - the power to do as you choose, and I will never take that away from you, ever.

It is this dichotomy- not caring deeply about the process but caring about the result - that comes close to describing the dichotomy of God.

Yet God in a sense does not even care about the outcome.Not the ultimate outcome.The ultimate outcome is assured.

Thank Me

2008-10-01T23:22:00.000-07:00

When you thank Me in advance for that which you choose to experience in your reality, you in effect, acknowledge that it is there --in effect.
The correct prayer is therefore never a prayer of supplication,but a prayer of GRATITUDE,

Experience

2008-10-01T23:17:00.000-07:00

The result of your not listening to your experience is that you keep re living it over and over again. For My purpose will not be thwarted ,nor will My will be ignored.You will get my message sooner or later.

wanting

2008-10-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

You will not have that for which you ask , nor will can you have anything you want. This is because your very request is a statement of lack and your saying you want a thing works to produce that precise experience - wanting - in your reality

Let Go of Resentments

2008-09-30T01:48:00.001-07:00

How do we rebuild trust and let go of resentment? Resentment happens when there has been an accumulation and pattern of broken trust and betrayal. Resentment can take on the form of withdrawal, pulling back, and shutting down within the relationship. The great news is -- there is a path for healing and renewal. It includes 7-steps: 1) Observe and acknowledge what has happened 2) Allow feelings to surface 3) Get support 4) Reframe the experience 5) Take responsibility 6) Forgive yourself and others 7) Let go and move on *Daily Quote: Inspiration you can transform your thoughts, create new etchings, and movethrough each day and every situation with positive expectancy. - Julie Bartkus

Thinking Skills

2008-09-29T23:00:00.000-07:00

Change and Improvement Orientation / Lateral Thinking
(One Day Workshop)

Ice Breaker

Perception and Patterns
· Perception is the way we look at things
· Processing is what we do with that perception
· Traditionally we have focused on the processing and ignored the perception
· The main purpose of thinking is to abolish thinking
· The mind works to make sense out of the confusion and uncertainty
· The mind works to recognise in the outside world familiar patterns
· As soon as such a pattern is recognised the mind switches into it and goes along
· We need to be aware that we may often look into the wrong pattern
· We need to be aware that the repertoire of patterns we have in our minds will determine our recognition, our abstractions , our classification, our analysis , our thinking

Lateral Thinking
The sort of thinking that is concerned with changing perceptions and concepts

Mental Patterns

What does this signify?

(Draw a random sketch)

What does this signify in aerospace?
List:

What does this signify in Law ?
List :

What does this signify in Kitchen ?
List :

What does this signify in AL ?
List :

With each Trigger increase in ideas .. why ?

Problem is the same
Resource is the same
Outcome has changed
Why?

· Brain surface has newrons
· When there is a stimulus or Trigger the neurons establish interconnections
· Initially only few ideas .. Dominant Mental Pattern
· Normally we do not access more than 2% of our brain
· With triggers we access more patterns

@ break for Tea

Exercise: Take a square piece of paper, make 4 pieces in 2 seconds
Draw an elephant in 30 seconds
Experience locks us in old concepts, old structures, old patterns, and old perceptions

Play a game in dyads (no communicating):
Clasp your partner's hand and oscillate at the elbow
Win as many times as you can in 15 seconds
Win means putting the back of your partner's hand on the table
Super imposing past solutions based on past experience without appreciating changed circumstances

MINDSET
Q2 Q3

( DRAW )

Q1 Q4

Simple Complex More Complex

Past solutions does not guarantee future problem solving

Lateral thinking a tool to think beyond Dominant Mental Patterns
Divergent Thinking Abilities

· Fluency
Ability to generate many ideas, solutions, alternatives, designs, methods, words, etc Emphasis is on quantity by suspending evaluation.

To Enhance: Practice listing even during ordinary decision making

Exercise: Write down as many uses as you can think of for
Eraser, Clip, Tyre, Brick, Ribbon
List five letter words ending in g
In how many ways can you get rid of pencil writing?

· Flexibility
Ability to generate a variety of ideas, solutions, alternatives, designs, methods, etc
By shifting frames of references, choosing a solution with multiple criteria in mind and using different approaches for dissimilar problems.

To Enhance: Look for different facets of ordinary situations and different implications of ordinary choices

Exercise: List distinctively different uses of a basket
In how many ways can a child be taught civic sense?

· Originality
Ability to generate off beat yet appropriate ideas, solutions, alternatives, designs etc

To Enhance: Practice Associative thinking
Play with shifting perspectives
Seek examples that contradict your suppositions
What would be the opposite of the common place solution?

· Sensitivity
Ability to notice / sense problems, anomalies, issues, be sensitive to feelings, relationships, to spot the uncommon, etc in situations in which these are not obvious. Triggers an inquiry whose outcome may be a creative insight.

To enhance take a look at your body and list things you find intriguing/ paradoxical
Recall your childhood what mystified you most then?

· Elaboration
Ability to develop fully the potential of an idea or insight, developmental and planning ability. It involves the working out of the implications of a bright idea by a combination of analytical, evaluative and associative thinking.

To enhance: take commonplace ideas e.g. parenthood and build up networks of associated ideas

Exercise; elaborate upon the situational relevance of two paradoxical proverbs;
Stitch in time saves nine & Haste makes waste

Techniques:

Brainstorming
To get a large no of ideas from a group of people in a short period of time

· Suspend judgement
· Free Wheel
· Quantity
· Cross Fertilise

Methodology
1. Identify & state the problem
2. Restate the problem (how to.)
3. Select a statement ( in how many ways can we …)
4. Warm up session ( 2 min )
5. Wildest idea technique
6. Evaluate ideas
7. Reverse Brainstorming (in how many ways can this idea fail?)

Exercise: Water Problem

Attribute Listing
A technique for designing or redesigning a product, service or activity

Methodology
List attributes
Generate alternatives to current attributes
Graft on to the object attributes of other objects
Ask what function a current attribute serves, and then look for alternative ways of meeting the function

Exercise: Dictionary, Handling convenience - attribute, Pocket size, roll, etc

Market greeting cards,

@ Break for Lunch

Checklist of Questions
SCoMPE
ASARAMOMONA
Questions are the creative acts of intelligence for often they stimulate and energise divergent thinking

What can we …?
S- substitute
Co - combine
M - minify/ maximise
P - put to other use
E - eliminate

A - add
S - subtract
A - alter
R - rearrange
A - adapt
M - magnify
O - opposite
M - minify
O - other
N - new ways of utilising
A - alternate ways

Exercise :
Using checklist of questions suggest as many improvements as you can to cars, shoes, filing cabinets, drinking straw

@ Break for Tea

Concept Challenge
WHY ? WHAT IF ?

Fundamental concepts are challenged
Identify a concept in the situation
Is it necessary?
How else can it be done ?

Instead of taking things for granted , you can pick and challenge any concept to see whether it is the only way of doing things
· Why should a car have a steering wheel?
· Why should a watch have a strap?
· Why should a toothbrush have bristles?

Provocative Operation
PO purpose is to get us out of the usual main track thinking. It provokes us to move towards ideas that seem unthinkable

Sell our product to our competitors
Vehicles have square wheels
Inhale toxic gases that our buses exhale
Toothpaste is a single drop of liquid

Technique of getting movement from a provocation

Moment to moment fantasise frame by frame moving
Positive Aspects look for direct benefits or positive aspects of PO
Escape Method provoke the taken for granted , cancel, negate, drop, remove, escape from what is
Wishful thinking what if ? Suppose..
Reversal look at normal in unusual way

Synectics
Group problem solving method. To develop fresh workable approaches to difficult problems e.g. creating a wheel chair that can climb stairs

Methodology
Description of the present condition e.g. the engine
Direct Analogy
Personal Analogy
Take the descriptions from 2 and 3 and suggest several compressed conflict
What is stealthy -fast, swift- silent, roughly - smooth
Select another direct analogy based on the compressed conflict. .. what is stealthy and fast .. deer how would you modify the engine to have attributes of deer.

Direct Analogy
A direct comparison of the object under discussion with any inanimate object and explore it's qualities ..leopard
Personal Analogy
Become the analogy .. i.e. the leopard ,Similar to empathizing ,Retain one's human sensibilities ,Transpose oneself into the situation , Share what one feels , hears etc
Examples
Direct analogy
Aerodynamics of a plane - how birds manage to fly
How is office like a football field
Personal analogy
Heat from light - imagine you to be a bulb
Become an engine - how does it feel to be started in the morning, When your battery goes dead, When you come to a red light
First person description of facts, feelings
I feel greasy , I feel hot, I feel powerful, I feel exploited, and I cannot decide when I start or stop
Compressed conflict
Two frames of reference with respect to a single object - how is an engine shy and aggressive, How is a bus body like a smile and a frown

Generate a synectic Exploration of the original component and provide a new perspective using all analogical connections.

The Six Thinking Hats :

1. White Hat : has to do with data and information
When you ask for white hat thinking at a meeting you are asking members to put aside the proposals and arguments and focus directly on the information by asking themselves the following questions

· What information do you have ?
· What information is missing?
· What information would we like to have ?
· How are we going to get the information?

2. Red Hat : Has to do with feelings, intuition , hunches and emotions.
The red hat gives people permission to put forward their feelings and intuitions without apology, explanation and any need to justify them.

· Putting my red hat on , this is what I feel about the project
· My gut feeling is that it will not work
· I don't like the way this is being done
· My intuition tells me that prices will fall soon

3.Black Hat : is the 'caution hat ' that prevents us from making mistakes , doing silly things and those that might be illegal
The black hat is for critical judgements, it points out why something can't be done / why something will not be profitable

· The regulations do not permit us to do that
· We do not have the production capacity to meet that order
· When we tried a higher price , the sales fell
· He has no experience in Automobile Industry

4.Yellow Hat : is for optimism and the logical positive view of things , for feasibility and looks at how something can be done
Yellow hat thinking looks for benefits but they must be logically based. It requires a deliberate effort .Every creative idea deserves some Yellow hat attention.

· This might work if we moved the production plant nearer the customer
· The benefit would come from repeat purchases
· The high cost of energy would make everyone more energy efficient

5. Green Hat is for creative thinking , new ideas, additional alternatives, putting forward possibilities and hypotheses
Green hat thinking makes time and space available for creative effort

· We need some new ideas here
· Are there any additional alternatives?
· Could we do this in a different way?
· Could there be another explanation ?

6. Blue Hat is for process control , it sets the agenda for thinking , suggests the next step in thinking , asks for summaries, conclusions, decisions, and comments on the thinking being used.
Blue thinking is for organising and controlling the thinking process so it becomes more productive . The organiser generally uses it but other participants are encouraged to put forward their suggestions

· We have spent far too much time looking for someone to blame
· Could we have a summary of your views?
· I think we should take a look at the priorities

Learning and Application

Personal Effectiveness

2008-09-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

Achievement Orientation
(One day workshop)

Ice Breaker Dyads to get to know one another and introduce one another

Your Preference
Administer Questionnaire
Scoring

@ Break for Tea

Debrief:
The various motives measured are:
Hedonism (the desire for the pleasant things of life, money, car, apparel, food etc)
The need to be successful in one's career
The desire to be original, to do something distinctive
The desire for authority and power
The desire to grow and realize one's potential
The need for friendship, companionship and cordial relations (need for affiliation)
Altruism or the need to serve others, help others grow and develop
The need for security
Any one of these needs if sufficiently strong can impel a person however for creativity these are not equally useful.
For creativity, it is desirable to have a strong motivation to do something distinctive, to actualize one's potential and also to help other's or work for an ideal. It is also necessary to have a relatively weak need for security and no more than moderately strong needs for power, affiliation, career success, hedonism, because beyond a point they distract from being creative.
To be creative means to take risks, go off the beaten track, act in the face of criticism from others, reduce commitments of a social nature.
Excessive concern for financial or other types of security as well as for one's relationships with others tends to make these difficult. The quest for power too is an energy-absorbing quest. Much energy is used up in fending off challenges from others that want power or wish to deprive you of power. A certain amount of hedonism and the need for career success complement growth motivation Hedonism means the need to gratify one's sensibilities and enjoy the good things of life. The cultivation of one's sensibilities is useful for being creative. Beyond a point however it's quest distracts one. Similarly a certain amount of concern for career success provides a desirable focus for one's activities but too great a concern for it can lead to neglect of potentialities other than those directly useful in one's job. Also the desire to succeed can often lead one to pursue safe options.

Your Temperament

Administer Questionnaire
Scoring
Debrief:

Common blocks to creativity:

Fears Fear of Failure
Allergy to Ambiguity
Touchiness
Conformity

Disabilities Resource Myopia
Starved Sensibilities
Rigidity
Blocks
Their causes,
Symptoms,
Usefulness
Harmfulness to creativity.

Unblocking:
Desire to unblock, Help from a credible source, Inoculation, Reward, Goal Setting

Strategies for changing Motivation:
A person's motivation is a resultant of many forces. Genetic inheritance, upbringing, education, friendships, job etc. These are powerful forces so it is not very easy to change one's motives. Yet to an extent an awareness of the forces shaping one's motives can help one strengthen desired motives and weaken undesired ones over a period of time.
Awareness
Desired Change
Role Model
Action (generally we think that action follows motivation, research shows that vice versa is also true - behavior can also mould attitudes)
Reinforcement.

@ Break for Lunch

Ring Toss Game /Achieving Results - Business Game (depending on Number of Participants)

Ring Toss game
Objective is to
· Help understand one's style of Learning
· Experience and analyze the processes through which one passes while setting activity goals
· Understand one's approach to risk taking
· Examine one's attitude to success and failure
· Highlight the influence exterted by group and social factors on one's behavior
· Underscore the distinctly different influence exerted by intrinsic and extrinsic incentives on different personality orientations
· Bring in sharp focus the concept of ' Challenge at Work ' reflecting the urge for self-development and growth, which is basic to one's attitude to work.

Simple well-structured exercises quite often bring to surface different facets of an individual's behavior with a force of revelation and opens up avenues for self-learning.
This exercise generates ' Here and Now' data. Use it to ascertain one's orientation towards risk taking, goal setting, planning, personal responsibility, learning from feedback etc
The exercise is primarily based on the hypothesis that persons with high need achievement tend to take moderate risks, set challenging goals, exhibit high concern for excellence and are more influenced by intrinsic incentives and moved into action by hope of success.

Group Data Analysis (Non threatening process analysis, Non defensive learning attitudes)

4 Broad Categories of Behavior:
1. Behaviors often inhibited by fear of failure more indrawn with concern for face saving and image preservation , exhibiting unwillingness to test the capacities
2. Behaviors unmindful of capacities , uninfluenced by outcomes, closed or blind to feedback , unaffected by either hope of success or fear of failure, exhibiting lesser concern for face saving
3. Behaviors often governed by hope of success, influenced by concern for testing capacities, open to feedback and governed by considerations of outcome which are little beyond capacities , unaffected by considerations of face saving but more influenced by extrinsic rather than intrinsic incentives
4. Behaviors governed by similar considerations as 3 above except in respect of the incentives. More decisively influenced by intrinsic incentives

Learnings:

· All successes are not equally satisfying. A success, which is easily attained, does not give adequate sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, and therefore does not motivate a person for improved performance.

· Successes attained' without exerting are more likely to keep the performer in dark about the level of his capacities.

· All failures need not be equally dissatisfying and discouraging. Failure in accomplishment of a goal which was a high stake and which involved big risk need not necessarily generate any sense of disappointment or dissatisfaction. A tendency to explain it away by holding external factors responsible for the outcome plays the "buffer" in such cases.

· Performances which reflect the following tendencies may be considered as behaviors characteristic of a person with high need achievement:

· Moderate risk-taking
· Getting feedback and learning from it, so as to modify subsequent actions
· Taking personal responsibility and relating outcomes to their own actions and capacities

· Specificity manifest in determining sub. Goals and corresponding action steps hold greater promise of attainment of the goal.

· Considerations of prestige and image preservation obstruct objective analysis of pros and cons involved in accomplishing a task and block learning from experience. They tend to keep persons away from taking personal responsibility for the outcomes. They, therefore, hinder achievement orientations.

· Behaviors or efforts motivated by intrinsic rather than extrinsic incentives, are more prone to set challenging goals and work for their attainment in a sustained manner.

· Efforts guided by hope of success rather than by fear of failure, remain open to risk-taking and aiming high. They also help testing individual capacities which in turn facilitates setting goals which are little beyond one's capacities.

LITTLE CANDLE

2008-09-24T01:41:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time a little candle stood in a room filled with other candles,most of them much larger and much more beautiful than she was. Some were ornate and some were rather simple, like herself. Some were white, some were blue, some were pink, some were green. She had no idea why she was there, and the other candles made her feel rather small and insignificant. When the sun went down and the room began to get dark, she noticed a largeman walking toward her with a ball of fire on a stick. She suddenly realized that the man was going to set her on fire. “No, no!” she cried,“Don't burn me, please!” But she knew that she could not be heard and prepared for the pain that would surely follow. To her surprise, the room filled with light. She wondered where it came from since the man had extinguished his fire stick. To her delight, she realized that the light came from herself. Then the man struck another fire stick and, one by one, lit the other candles in the room. Each one gave out the same light that she did. During the next few hours, she noticed that, slowly, her wax began to flow.She became aware that she would soon die. With this realization came a sense of why she had been created. “Perhaps my purpose on earth is to giveout light until I die,” she mused. And that's exactly what she did. God created you and I to produce light in a dark world. Like that little candle, we all can produce the same amount of light, no matter how small weare or what color we might be. But we can't produce light until we receiveit from an outside source

Responsibility

2008-09-05T21:41:00.000-07:00

The way the concept was drilled in
It’s a neural path in my brain that is deeply etched
Whatever happens, whoever happens
There is no more the helpless plea
‘Why did this happen to me’
‘Why did so and so say this or that’
Now it is always, what did I do or not do
To have this happen.
Thought it would be a burden.
But to the contrary, it is liberating
Sets you free, for another is not
The cause of your pain.
You have only yourself to question
It’s an inward journey for which
You are the river, the oar,
The boat, the boats man,
No one to blame no, one to question.
Unquestioned freedom.

SAMAYAMA

2008-09-05T02:21:00.000-07:00

Samayama like Sadhguru is unpredictable as far as my limited experience goes. Sadhguru in his talks makes a profound statement; its impact is still sinking in and pat comes one of the most outrageous jokes! My two experiences of Samayama are such a contrast too.
Last year's Samayama was my first experience. I was all keyed up, I had heard how difficult it was, how much your limbs would pain, how much of ' moove ' was to be stocked etc. The legs did pain, the knees did protest, but what took the cake, the baker and the bakery too were the weird things that it did to me. I lost count of the days, I could not open by eyes beyond a slit, my arms were perpetually getting entwined, and it was as though a dense cloud had descended where my brain used to be! I was crying desolately without reason one day only to be laughing my guts out the next. Humming away one day and making vain attempts to fly the next. The flitting across hills and valleys stopped only with the drums. The drums stilled me and as they reached a crescendo I felt myself shed my body and become the beat of the drums.
It is with this background that I came for the next Samayama this year, thinking that this time I knew what to expect! Day one, day two, day three and I were wondering what I was doing wrong. Except for the sob that escaped me when I saw the tears in Sadhguru's eyes as he welcomed the large gathering, there was not a tear, no laughter, no floating no flying, no humming, ' no thing '!
It was only on day four I reconciled to the fact that this Samayama was a different experience an experience of nothing! My body and mind was still I would not get startled with Sadhguru's "hey ". No

emotions, very few thoughts, just the constant sensation on the crown of the head, at times on the forehead and just once a powerful swirl at the pit of the throat. But for that it was silence, void emptiness all the way.
The first Samayama was full of experiences, packed with sensations of body and mind, the second was full too but full of what? I do not know all I can say is it was full with nothing!
Two entirely different paths but both seem to lead to the same destination. Feel so much lighter so much more at peace and ease. Sadhguru I seek your grace to delve deeper into this stillness and void.

WHAT's UP ?

2008-09-04T04:26:00.000-07:00

Lovers of the English language might enjoy this......How do non-natives ever learn all the nuances of English???
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but why do we wake UP in the morning?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.
We brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !
To understand the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in a dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 page -- it can really add UP.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets UP the earth.
If it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .
One could go on, but I'll wrap it UP.
For now my time is UP, so .... Time to shut UP .....!
Don't mess UP.
Send this to everyone you look UP in your address book.

GRATITUDE

2008-09-04T04:20:00.000-07:00

Hans Selye, the great stress specialist, says that gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions and revenge is the most destructive. He's right. It is a fact that when you express gratitude for what you have, you will have more for which to be grateful. It is equally true that the more you complain about your problems, the more problems you will have to complain about. Here's why. People who express appreciation for what they have attract people who recognize that attitude. They are far more inclined to encourage and/or lend a helping hand because they know their help will be appreciated. People who are always complaining about their problems repel the very people who are in position to give them help and encouragement.Try this. Make a list of ten things you like about your job, mate, child(ren), city, school, etc. The next time someone asks you what you do or where you are from, respond enthusiastically, "I'm from XYZ City," or "I work at ABC Company, and I really like it!" They are likely to comment on your enthusiasm and ask you why you like your city or your job so much. You can respond, "The people there are really nice and we render a great service. My manager is a neat lady," and go right down the list. You'll be amazed at the response you will get and the impact it will have on your attitude and performance. Recently I met a lady who had been working for the JC Penney Company for many years and had grown disgruntled and unhappy. She decided to give this approach a try. Two weeks later she told me that her supervisor had commented on her dramatic change in attitude and performance. The lady added, "And you know, it's funny, I really do like my job much better!" Give it a try and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

By Zig Ziglar

Two Roads in MY Life

2008-09-04T04:11:00.000-07:00

Today I took a time of silence just to look back on my life and to see what happened to me. I looked back on the road of my life and I saw that there are two roads that are leading to where I am currently standing. I could not understand this.
The one road is twisty and go through canyons, over cliffs and it seems that it is a road that no sane man will travel. The other road is a road that looks like a highway. It is straight and flat, but it is also very, very narrow.
I asked God why is there two roads that only converge a little way from where I am standing. God answered me and said that the one road - the twisty difficult road, is the road that I chose to walk. This road is so difficult and so dangerous because I did not heed God's word. I sinned and the devil led me on this twisty road.
As I looked at the twisty road, I started seeing road-signs all along the way, representing the things that I have done in my past. How shocked, horrified and ashamed was I to see all the bad things that I have said, that I have done, that I have thought of.
I can see where I went over cliffs, the places where I have fallen and stumbled and where I got hurt so badly that it seemed impossible to live. There were also places where it seemed impossible for me to have survived the road that I was traveling. It was really a horrific road. Sometimes there was no road at all and I wondered what happened during those times in my travels on this difficult road. I asked God and He said with a smile in His voice, "Son that is where the devil let go of you and I caught you, I carried you."
I said, but how is it still possible that if I was walking with and following the devil that You where still there for me. He said to me "It is because I love you and I will never stop loving you, regardless of your sins."
I looked with amazement to this horrible road and wondered how it happened that I ended up traveling this dangerous road. As if God knew what was on my mind, He said, "Son your choices was not always right and you had to learn, I gave you freedom to do as you wanted and was hoping that you would learn from your choices."
I shrieked in my body and soul, because the sign posts next to the road showed so clearly the choices that I have made. There was no doubt in my mind that all these choices was very far removed from what God had in mind for me and what He had planned for my life.
I asked God about the narrow road that is flat and straight and He said to me, "Son that is the road that I had planned for you and which you choose not to walk for so long. I was willing to lead you and show you all the riches that I had in my stores for you."
I wondered just how much I have missed in life by trying to follow my own road. I looked at the place where the two roads converge and my twisty and dangerous road meet with the narrow, straight road, it was only a very, very short distance from where I was standing at this moment.
Again, before I could ask God about this, He answered me and said, "Son you started praying, you started leaving the choices in My hands. You started trusting me and you started believing in the power of what I can do. I was hoping that you would come to Me and look at My road."
" All it took was for you, to start asking Me for the things in your life that you wanted and trusting Me enough with those things. I am burning to release My full flood of riches onto you, to give you far more than you could ever ask for or dream of! You must remember that it was YOUR choice to travel your own road, I was always there, but you never trusted Me, you never asked Me to help you."
" You where the one that went of on the difficult road with all the dangers and My road was there all along. It was up to you to come back to Me, because I never left you, it was you who left Me. There, where the roads converge, that is when you came back to Me, that was when you gave up on trying to be the leader in your own life, when you realized that on your own power you are not getting anywhere and you are not achieving anything meaningful in your life, when you stopped relying on your own power.
" That was when you said to me that I must take control of your life and lead you according to what I, your Father, has planned for you. I was waiting so long for you to just start asking Me for guidance, I wanted to take your hand everyday, but if you did not allow me and trust me, I could not do that."
I could only stand in amazement on what happened since the two roads converge. I could see the drastic change and the things that came my way since traveling God's way. I decided there and then that without God in my life, I do not want to live another day. I started understanding what God, my Father had in store for me and it is so simple. I just need to trust Him with everything and I must ask Him for it.
The simplicity of this only started sinking in and I now know that without God in my life, life is not worth living. I vowed that never again will I rely on my own strengths, never again will I doubt in what God has promised each and every one of us. I vowed to keep on looking for God's will in my life and to get to know Him a lot better! God is my King and Savior, how about yours?

Rhythym of Rituals

2008-09-04T04:01:00.000-07:00

CHANGE IS INEVITABLE AND ALL CHANGE IS CYCLICAL; TO BREAK THE MONOTONY OF LIFE CREATE SOME MEANINGFUL RITUALS FOR YOURSELF

AS RAVI ENTERED his cabin, he suddenly felt lost. What was he supposed to do next? He set up his laptop and went straight for his email inbox. Maybe there were emails there to respond. And in the midst of responding to the emails, maybe he would find a purpose, a task that would make the rest of the day meaningful. Ravi needs structure in his life. A plan. But he does not know how to go about it. A business year has just got over and until last week the sales target was the destination, and the desire to reach it kept him going. Now, the target has been reached, the year is over, and suddenly there is a vacuum. What seemed like a full stop now reveals itself to be merely a comma, a pause, as he waits for a new goal. Is that what life is all about – moving from one target to another target, one year-end to another year-end, one project to another project?
Ravi was raised on fairy tales like Cinderella, Snow White and Rapunzel, which always ended with 'happily ever after'. But as the exhilaration of reaching last year's target wanes, Ravi has realised that 'happily ever after' is a dream, a fantasy far from reality. In frustration, his mind wandered to earlier that day, to when he was having breakfast. His wife drew his attention to traditional Indian narratives. Unlike European fairy tales which had clear beginnings (once upon a time), and clear endings, (happily ever after), classical Indian fairy stories such as Suka-saptati, Betalpachisi, Simhasan-battisi, had endings that invariably curved back to the beginning. For example, Suka-saptati always began with a travelling merchant's wife preparing to step out and meet her lover, and always ended with her not leaving the house, distracted as she was by the story narrated to her by her husband's pet parrot. Betal-pachisi always began with Vikram pulling down a ghost from a tree, and ended with the ghost always returning to the tree after telling a story. Simhasan-battisi, always began with a king approaching a throne thinking he was worthy of sitting on it, and always ended with him doubting his capability after hearing a tale of royal achievement narrated by the throne itself. Thus, the stories would run in cycles – again, and again, and again, with the same beginnings, with the same endings and change happening only in between. In the middle was the exciting part – mystery, action and romance. Ravi realised these tales were so much like life. Every business year would begin the same way – with a target. And would end the same way – with a struggle to reach the target. The exciting part was in the middle. In the middle was life.
While driving to office, Ravi had noticed a few workshops on the roadside where artisans were molding clay images of Ganesha and Durga. They did this each year, in the rainy season, preparing for festivals that were celebrated as the rains drew to a close. By which time the images of Ganesha and Durga would be ready for worship. After being worshipped for nine-ten days, the images would be dissolved in a water body. The following year, at the same time, the artisans would mold fresh images once again. Repetition was the key. The festivals recurred cyclically, just like the stories. Was this the way of the forefathers to show that while change is inevitable (stories end, images are dissolved in water), all change is cyclical (stories restart and images are recreated)? Through the rhythm of rituals, one's mind was drawn to the cyclical nature of things so that life seemed less uncertain and more predictable.
Are we rats on a ferret-wheel, running but reaching nowhere? From the window of his office, Ravi noticed the sticker of Tirupati Balaji pasted on a car parked below. The deity had a wheel on the right side. It rotated around the deity's index finger, a reminder of life's circular rhythm. The dreaded merry-go-round of life, no doubt. But there was a conch-shell on the left side of the deity. Here the rhythm was different - spiral not circular. The end did not actually meet the beginning – it was separated by a distance created by time.
It dawned on Ravi that when an event recurs, one is not the same person – one has matured, gained more experience and information, hence one's approach to the event should ideally be different. When the Ganesha or Durga festivals return after the rains this year, as ritually planned, Ravi should be able to perceive the celebrations with a more matured perspective compared to last year. And when Ravi hears the next story narrated either by the parrot, the ghost or the throne, he should be smarter than when the previous story was told. Ideally, when events recur, he should be more prepared, hence more efficient and more effective. Ravi concluded that circular rituals offered not just a predictable certainty, it also offered a chance to relook at the same event differently, allowing for new insights, making every recurring event something to look forward to.
Suddenly Ravi did not feel as lost as before. It dawned on him that for the past four years, ever since he took over as head of sales and marketing, this feeling of dread and despair always overwhelmed him in the period between the ending of the previous business year and the start of the current business year. Rather than surrender to monotony and despair, it was up to him to turn the cyclical truth of his job to his advantage.
Inspired, Ravi instituted a circular rhythm of rituals of his own in his office. Every Monday morning, he asked his team to meet in his cabin for coffee. The meeting had no agenda. What was important was the gathering. Sometimes the meeting generated heated discussion about work, sometimes people just gossiped on various topics, and sometimes nobody spoke; everybody just sipped coffee silently. Those who attended the meeting did not realise what the point of it all was. But Ravi did. The ritual anchored his team – gave the week a very certain start, a clear indicator that the weekend was over and the week had begun. It allowed the team to cope better with the Monday morning blues, and return to the corporate fold faster. Now, Ravi plans to institute more office rhythms – monthly reviews, quarterly team dinners, bi-annual picnics with family. He has realised that people respond to rhythms very well – like cyclical festivals and stories that give everyone the opportunity to find excitement and new insights in the otherwise monotony of life.

HAPPINESS

2008-09-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Bamboo and The Fern

2008-09-03T23:54:00.000-07:00

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, and my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me..."Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?" "Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo." He said. "In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit."
He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?" "I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you." "Don't compare yourself to others."
He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful." "Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high" "How high should I rise?" I asked. "How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return. "As high as it can?" I questioned, "Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and bring back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you. He will never give up on you. Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both are essential to life!

Unlock Your Mind

2008-09-03T23:52:00.000-07:00

Houdini was a master Magician as well as a fabulous locksmith. He boasted that he could escape from any Jail cell in the World in less than an hour, provided he could go into the cell dressed in street clothes. Houdini became very famous.
A small town in the British Isles built a new Jail, which they were extremely proud of. They issued Houdini a challenge. "Come give us a try", they said. Houdini loved the publicity and the money attached with it, so he accepted.
The day of the challenge came. By the time Houdini arrived, excitement was at a fever pitch. Houdini rode triumphantly into the town and walked into the cell. He proudly walked into the cell and the Big Iron door was closed. Houdini took off his coat and went to work. Secreted in his belt was a flexible tough and durable ten-inch piece of steel, which he used to work on the lock. At the end of 15 minutes his confident expression had disappeared. At the end of 30 minutes he was looking confused. At the end of an hour he was drenched in perspiration.
After two hours ...
Houdini literally collapsed against the door - which opened...!
Yes, it had never been locked.........except in his mind..........where he viewed it was as firmly locked as if a thousand locksmiths had put their best efforts in making the lock for it. One little push and Houdini could have easily opened the door..........But he didn't.
People! Many times a little extra push is all you need to open your opportunity door. In the game of life you will discover, as you set your goals and unlock your mind, that the world will unlock its own treasures and rewards to you. Realistically, Most locked doors are in our minds.
Unlock your Mind...Think Great Thoughts...Do Great Things...

GOD's WIFE

2008-09-03T23:50:00.001-07:00

An Eye Witness Account from New York City, on a cold day in December:
A little boy about 10 years old was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold.
A lady approached the boy and said, "My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?"
"I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes," was the boy's reply.
The lady took him by the hand and went into the store and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy.
She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.
She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with a towel.
By this time the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes.
She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said,
"No doubt, my little fellow, you feel more comfortable now?"
As she turned to go, the astonished lad caught her by the hand and looking up in her face, with tears in his eyes,
Answered the question with these words: "Are you God's Wife?"

Juggling Your Way to the Top

2008-09-03T23:46:00.000-07:00

What can a juggler or a mime teach a corporation? To most, the answer would be nothing - unless you looked through Carr Hagerman's eyes. The former professional street performer sees the same dynamic in his trade at play in the business realm between managers and employees, employees and customers, and even trainers and trainees."The image of a street performer working with an audience is an exotic image," said Hagerman, who is also a co-author of Top Performer: A Bold Approach to Sales and Service. "But the traits of a successful street performer are the same as [those needed to be] a successful business employee."A top performer on the street is one who engages the energy of the audience so that the performance becomes co-created and co-authored. That moves a performance from "average to rare," Hagerman said. Coincidentally, the same is true in business, as employee success depends on interaction with the client, whether it be an internal or external customer. It isn't about learning difficult new skills, but instead it's about being authentic and honest in these engagements."The street performer is face-to-face with their audience, the same as a businessperson is to a customer," Hagerman said. "[But with a street performer], we can see - in microcosm - engagement happen. It's less about the material in their show and more about the connection and working with energy."Through songs, staged performances and interactive training sessions, Hagerman illustrates what makes a performer successful: claiming your pitch, building the circle, juicing the jam, mining the mess, developing insurance, choosing the close and passing the hat. These concepts can be used to better business interactions."The performer claims open space, and we fill that with our claim: our material and our audience," Hagerman said. "In business, the word 'claim' means to take something as your own. When you look at any business leader, they are strong and successful because they claim it."As one can imagine, there's a level of unpredictability in street performing. As the audience grows and the circle builds, performers have to be ready for unexpected problems or "jams.""The street performer declares their presence authentically - the better the commitment, the bigger the audience that will come," Hagerman said. "The larger the circle, the more jams that come up. Then we can actually see the disruptions of the marketplace, such as a drunk walking into the stage, and that's a great image for teaching people about flexibility. Great innovative companies recognize that problem as a gift."Finally, a performance's success is determined by what's in the hat."What if everything you did was dependent on what it was worth?" Hagerman said. "If your product is lousy, the hat never lies."
Lindsay Edmonds Wickman

NOT MY JOB

2008-09-03T23:27:00.000-07:00

Performance Pressure in Industries

2008-09-03T23:10:00.000-07:00

Actions Still Speak Louder Than Words

2008-09-03T23:05:00.000-07:00

Too often we talk about what we are going to do "someday" while we actually do very little to make our dreams come true. We talk and dream and set goals and plan. We budget and visualize. We do everything, in fact, except take action.We all know that only action changes things. One of my favorite slogans is that "Nothing changes until something changes." I love the reminder that even a small step in the right direction can have huge implications! And, I love the reminder that only action will make our dreams come true.We are blessed to live in a time when we can have or do just about anything we can imagine. You can go to law school or medical school--yes, you really could! You can make a fortune, start a foundation, travel the world, raise happy children, run for office, publish a book, start a business or become a hermit and live in the woods. If you can imagine it, you can DO it!The only catch is that you have to actually make it happen.I see at least three popular tools that are routinely used to avoid taking action. They are good tools when used properly, but we mis-use them to stay in our comfort zones, change nothing, and wonder why our dreams never come true.First - We Set Too Many Goals: I'm a huge fan of goal-setting and I even wrote an ebook about the process. I use goals in my business and personal life, and I encourage my clients to set goals, so don't mis-understand me here. The problem is that we set goals instead of taking action. We plan and talk and set dead-lines, when what we should do is get to work and "go for it". Losing weight is not a goal! It isn't even a long-term project, it's about walking around the block, skipping desert or whatever is right in your situation, and doing it today. Never set goals when it's simpler and more powerful to take direct action!Second - We Wait for the Right Time: Yes, "there is a season for every purpose under heaven" and timing can make a huge difference. But we mis-use that truth when we refuse to take reasonable action while we wait for a "better time," or for the moon and stars and our checkbook to be in alignment. It's an excuse, folks! There will never be a magical "right time" to start a business or start a family or start a savings plan.The time is NOW! Take action, do what you can, move in the direction you want to go. Stop procrastinating and move it!Third - We Look for "Leverage" so we can make big, dramatic progress. Now, of course big steps forward are wonderful! They are fun and exciting and leverage can make everything easier. No one doubts that! But that is no reason to avoid doing what you can, where you can, right now.In fact, too often the "big steps" are scary and then we find even more reasons to avoid them.In most things, I'm a huge fan of "baby steps" and have written about taking the smallest, safest, least dramatic step you possibly can, so long as you take it today. Take small steps, just take them!Find and use a goal-setting routine. Goals are vital to your long-term success! Just don't get so lost in the process that you forget to look up, get up, and get into action! The same is true of timing and taking huge, bold steps when you can.Action always speaks louder than words or plans or goals. Only action gets stuff done! Take small steps, but start today. Call someone. Read something. Open a savings account. Invest a dollar, take a walk, talk with your kids. Whatever it is, just do it! Before you go to bed this evening, take some real, measurable, positive step (no matter how small) in the direction you want to go. Then tomorrow, do it again.

9 great management lessons from Dhirubhai Ambani

2008-09-03T23:03:00.000-07:00

Dhirubhaism No 1: Roll up your sleeves and help.
You and your team share the same DNA.
Reliance, during Vimal's heady days had organized a fashion show at the Convention Hall, at Ashoka Hotel in New Delhi.
As usual, every seat in the hall was taken, and there were an equal number of impatient guests outside, waiting to be seated. I was of course completely besieged, trying to handle the ensuing confusion, chaos and protests, when to my amazement and relief, I saw Dhirubhai at the door trying to pacify the guests.
Dhirubhai at that time was already a name to reckon with and a VIP himself, but that did not stop him from rolling up his sleeves and diving in to rescue a situation that had gone out of control. Most bosses in his place would have driven up in their swank cars at the last moment and given the manager a piece of their minds. Not Dhirubhai.
When things went wrong, he was the first person to sense that the circumstances would have been beyond his team's control, rather than it being a slip on their part, as he trusted their capabilities implicitly. His first instinct was always to join his men in putting out the fire and not crucifying them for it. Sounds too good a boss to be true, doesn't he? But then, that was Dhirubhai.
Dhirubhaism No 2: Be a safety net for your team.
There used to be a time when our agency Mudra was the target of some extremely vicious propaganda by our peers, when on an almost daily basis my business ethics were put on trial. I, on my part, putting on a brave front, never raised this subject during any of my meetings with Dhirubhai.
But one day, during a particularly nasty spell, he gently asked me if I needed any help in combating it. That did it. That was all the help that I needed. Overwhelmed by his concern and compassion, I told him I could cope, but the knowledge that he knew and cared for what I was going through, and that he was there for me if I ever needed him, worked wonders for my confidence.
I went back a much taller man fully armed to face whatever came my way. By letting us know that he was always aware of the trials we underwent and that he was by our side through it all, he gave us the courage we never knew we had.
Dhirubhaism No 3: The silent benefactor.
This was another of his remarkable traits. When he helped someone, he never ever breathed a word about it to anyone else. There have been none among us who haven't known his kindness, yet he never went around broadcasting it.
He never used charity as a platform to gain publicity. Sometimes, he would even go to the extent of not letting the recipient know who the donor was. Such was the extent of his generosity. "Expect the unexpected" just might have been coined for him.
Dhirubhaism No 4: Dream big, but dream with your eyes open.
His phenomenal achievement showed India that limitations were only in the mind. And that nothing was truly unattainable for those who dreamed big.
Whenever I tried to point out to him that a task seemed too big to be accomplished, he would reply: " No is no answer!" Not only did he dream big, he taught all of us to do so too. His one-line brief to me when we began Mudra was: "Make Vimal's advertising the benchmark for fashion advertising in the country."
At that time, we were just a tiny, fledgling agency, tucked away in Ahmedabad, struggling to put a team in place. When we presented the seemingly insurmountable to him, his favourite response was always: "It's difficult but not impossible!" And he was right. We did go on to achieve the impossible.
Both in its size and scope Vimal's fashion shows were unprecedented in the country. Grand showroom openings, stunning experiments in print and poster work all combined to give the brand a truly benchmark image. But way back in 1980, no one would have believed it could have ever been possible. Except Dhirubhai.
But though he dreamed big, he was able to clearly distinguish between perception and reality and his favourite phrase "dream with your eyes open" underlined this.
He never let preset norms govern his vision, yet he worked night and day familiarizing himself with every little nitty-gritty that constituted his dreams constantly sifting the wheat from the chaff. This is how, as he put it, even though he dreamed, none of his dreams turned into nightmares. And this is what gave him the courage to move from one orbit to the next despite tremendous odds.
Dhirubhai was indeed a man of many parts, as is evident. I am sure there are many people who display some of the traits mentioned above, in their working styles as well, but Dhirubhai was one of those rare people who demonstrated all of them, all the time.
5. Dhirubhaism: Leave the professional alone!
Much as people would like to believe, most owners (even managers and clients), though eager to hire the best professionals in the field, do so and then use them as extensions of their own personality. Every time I come across this, which is much too often, I am reminded of how Dhirubhai's management techniques used to be (and still remain) so refreshingly different.
For instance, way back in the late 1970s when we decided to open an agency of our own, he asked me to name it. I carried a short list of three names, two Westernised and one Indian. It was a very different world back then. Everything Anglicised was considered "upmarket."
There were hardly any agencies with Indian names barring my own ex-agency Shilpi and a few others like Ulka and Sistas. He looked at the list and asked me what my choice was. I said "Mudra": it was the only name that suited my personality. And the spirit of the agency that I was to head.
I was very Indian and an Anglicised name on my visiting card would seem pretentious and contrived. No further questions were asked. No suggestions offered, just a plain and simple "Go ahead and do it." That was just the beginning.
He continued to give me total freedom -- no supervision, no policing -- in all my decisions thereafter. In fact, the only direction that he gave me, just once, was this: "Produce your best."
His utter trust in me was what pushed me to never, ever let him down. I guess the simplest strategies are often the hardest to adopt. That was the secret of the Dhirubhai legend. It was not out of a book. It was a skillful blend of head and heart.
6. Dhirubhaism: Change your orbit, constantly!
To understand this statement, let me explain Dhirubhai's "orbit theory."
He would often explain that we are all born into an orbit. It is up to us to progress to the next. We could choose to live and die in the orbit that we are born in. But that would be a criminal waste of potential. When we push ourselves into the next orbit, we benefit not only ourselves but everyone connected with us.
Take India's push for development. There was once a time our country's growth rate was just 4 per cent, sarcastically referred to as the "Hindu growth rate." Look at us today, galloping along at a healthy 7-8 per cent.
This is no miracle. It is the product of a handful of determined orbit changers like Dhirubhai, all of whose efforts have benefited a larger sphere in their respective fields.
In a small way, I too have experienced the thrill of changing orbits with Mudra. In the 1980s, we leapt from the orbit of a small Ahmedabad ad agency to become the country's third largest ad agency -- in just under a decade.
However, when you change orbits, you will create friction. The good news is that your enemies from your previous orbit will never be able to reach you in your new one. By the time resentment builds up in your new orbit, you should move to the next level. And so on.
Changing orbits is the key to our progress as a nation.
7. The arm-around-the-shoulder leader
I have never seen any other empire builder nor the CEO of any big organisation do this (why, I never adopted this myself!).
It was Dhirubhai's very own signature style. Whenever I went to meet him and if on that day, all the time that he could spare me was a short walk up to his car, he would instantly put his arm around me and proceed to discuss the issues at hand as we walked.
With that one simple gesture, he managed to achieve many things. I was put at ease instantaneously. I was made to feel like an equal who was loved and important enough to be considered close to him. And I would walk away from that meeting feeling so good about myself and the work I was doing!
This tendency that he had, to draw people towards him, manifested itself in countless ways. This was just one of them. He would never, ever exude an air of aloofness and exclusivity. He was always inviting people into sharing their thoughts and ideas, rather than shutting them out.
On hindsight I think, it must have required phenomenal generosity of spirit to be that inclusive. Yes, this was one of the things that was uniquely Dhirubhai -- that warm arm around my shoulder that did much more than words in letting me know that I belonged, that I had his trust, and that I had him on my side!
8. The Dhirubhai theory of Supply creating Demand
He was not an MBA. Nor an economist. But yet he took traditional market theory and stood it on its head. And succeeded.
Yes, at a time when everyone in India would build capacities only after a careful study of market expectations, he went full steam ahead and created giants of manufacturing plants with unbelievable capacites. (Initial cap of Reliance Patalganga was 10,000 tonnes of PFY way back in 1980, while the market in India for it was approx. 6000 tonnes).
No doubt his instinct was backed by years and years of reading, studying market trends, careful listening and his own honed capacity to forecast, but yet despite all this preparation, it required undeniable guts to pioneer such a revolutionary move.
The consequence was that the market blossomed to absorb supply, the consumer benefited with prices crashing down, the players increased and our economic landscape changed for the better. The Patalganga plant was in no time humming at maximum capacity and as a result of the plant's economies of scale, Dhirubhai's conversion cost of the yarn in 1994 came down to 18 cents per pound, as compared to Western Europe's 34 cents, North America's 29 cents and the Far East's 23 cents and Reliance was exporting the yarn back to the US!
A more recent example was that of Mukesh Ambani taking this vision forward with Reliance Infocomm (which is now handled by Anil Ambani). In India's mobile telephony timeline there will always be a very clear 'before Infocomm and after Infocomm' segmentation. The numbers say it all. In Jan 2003, the mobile subscriber base was 13 million, about 16 months later, shortly after the launch, it had reached 30 million.
In March 2006, it has touched 90 million ! Yes, this was yet another unusual skill of Dhirubhai's -- his uncanny knack of knowing exactly how the market is going to behave.
9. Money is not a product by itself, it is a by-product, so don't chase it
This was a belief by which Dhirubhai lived all his life. For instance when he briefed me about setting up Mudra, his instruction was clear: 'Produce the best textile advertising in the country,' he said.
He did not breathe a word about profits, nor about becoming the richest ad agency in the country. Great advertising was the goal that he set for me. A by-product is something that you don't set out to produce. It is the spin off when you create something larger.
When you turn logs into lumber, sawdust is your by-product and a pretty lucrative one it can be too! It is a very simple analogy but extremely effective in driving the point home. Work toward a goal beyond your bank balance.
Success in attaining that goal will eventually ring in the cash. For instance, if you work towards creating a name for yourself and earning a good reputation, then money is a logical outcome.
People will pay for your product or service if it is good. But if you get your priorities slightly mixed up, not only will the money you make remain just a quick buck it would in all likelihood blacklist you for good. Sounds too simplistic for belief? Well, look around you and you will know exactly how true it is.
Hari Nair

Outstanding Performance Professional

2008-09-03T23:00:00.000-07:00

The Outstanding Performance Professionalby Harold D. Stolovitch, Ph.D.What makes an outstanding performance professional? This is the question we at HSA Learning & Performance Solutions posed to a number of recognized experts during interviews at a variety of conferences. They worked in specialty areas such as human resource management, human resource development, organizational development, organizational effectiveness, performance consulting and learning and development. After sorting and collating responses, what emerged was a remarkable consensus about 10 characteristics shared by exceptional talent and HR leaders.Outstanding Performance Professionals' CharacteristicsThe following 10 characteristics of outstanding workplace performance specialists detail the value they can bring to both organizational clients and the talented performers who make up the organizations' workforce:1. Focused on client need: Exemplary performance professionals never lose sight of the primary mission: valued performance. They are not swayed by enthusiasms or constraints. They ably separate wants and whims from true needs and stick to required outcomes despite pressures.2. Cause-conscious, not solution-focused: The performance professional is an analytic and systematic investigator. This leads to decision making based on data, hard evidence and a thorough sifting of facts. As a result, solutions are derived from cause, not opinion.3. Systemic thinkers: This means outstanding performance professionals view workplace and talent gaps holistically. They anticipate how change in one area affects others. Single, simple solutions, while attractive, rarely achieve long-term performance improvement. The system view weaves together a web of interventions that are mutually supportive.4. Appropriately involve others: Successful performance professionals seek out complementary skills, experiences and power sources to support an effort, such as those of authority figures, knowledgeable individuals and union representatives. They draw strength from diversity. They are project orchestra leaders.5. Organized, rigorous and prudent: The true performance professional lets data and credible evidence speak for itself. This characteristic builds trust with management, clients and stakeholders. It increases support for a project and smoothes the way for work to progress. It also enhances the belief that solution recommendations will deliver as promised due to data-based decisions and actions.6. Sensitive to the need for verifying perceptions: Careful performance professionals continuously conduct reality checks with reliable people. They double and even triple-test interpretations. By frequently checking and rechecking understandings, they ensure the project is on the right track. Investments in "verifying time" are worthwhile because they negate the need for rework and can eliminate the ill feelings that result from misinterpretation.7. Sort out and maintain a firm hand on priorities: This results in adherence to business needs. A byproduct is protection from spontaneously appearing miracle-cure seductions. All projects have the potential to slip off course because of new, exciting "discoveries" reported to clients. It demands skill and wisdom to absorb new information while maintaining goal focus. The ability to suppress distractions, including faddish hype and the latest and greatest technological marvel, is a major asset.8. Diplomatic and credible: Being able to overcome resistance without antagonizing, while convincing decision makers and team members to remain on track has powerful payoff. This characteristic takes the edge off rejection of nonessential recommendations. It fosters smoother implementation of talent interventions and the attainment of performance goals without bitterness.9. Generous in giving credit to others: By highlighting other people's accomplishments and sharing in success rewards and recognition, performance professionals achieve loyalty to the project. They also draw out the best from all players.10. Principled, yet flexible: True performance professionals stick to bottom-line outcomes. They bend with pressures and constraints without deviating from the mission.[About the Author: Harold D. Stolovitch, Ph.D., CPT is a principal of HSA Learning & Performance Solutions LLC and is emeritus professor of instructional and performance technology at the Universite de Montreal.]

Caring Mentor Bosses

2008-09-03T22:58:00.000-07:00

A 2007 Maritz employee engagement poll identified six different supervisor personality profiles and their effects on employee engagement and customer loyalty.Profiles of Super ManagersThe Caring Mentor stood out at encouraging high employee-performance levels. Some 81 percent of respondents identified the Caring Mentor as a managerial Superman because this type of manager possesses similar characteristics to the American cultural icon.Caring Mentors are highly relational and greatly appreciated by their direct reports. Honesty is one of their strongest attributes. They are cheerful, generous, friendly and flexible. Employees under Caring Mentors have the strongest affinity for customers. Also, employees with Caring Mentor bosses are more likely to stay with a company long term and recommend their company to others.Unfortunately, only 26 percent of employees have Caring Mentors, which means 74 percent of employees have a less than ideal manager.The most common type of boss isn't a villain. This person falls in the Respectable Professional category for 29 percent of employees. Employees view them with respect and believe them to be honest and reliable. However, Respectable Professionals are task-driven and conduct business operations efficiently, only displaying flexibility when required. These bosses tend to maintain a professional distance and fail to make the company a fun place to work.Some 19 percent of employees have the Win-at-Any-Cost manager. Tough, controlling and ruthless, these supervisors aren't seen as ethical, honest or intelligent. In fact, most direct reports characterize them as inconsistent and clueless. These managers have the lowest employee engagement.Seen as tough, controlling and task driven, the Taskmaster is not cheerful or peaceful, but focused on achieving goals. Some 10 percent of employees categorize their supervisors as such. The Taskmaster rates higher on both ethics and competence, but doesn't engender much employee loyalty.The 9 percent of employees who rate their supervisors as Likeable Losers do not respect this type of manager. They are seen as incompetent and inconsistent despite their wholesomeness and charm.At first, the Glad Handler manager seems friendly and flexible. But the Glad Handler still is rated the second-worst type of manager. Recognized as dishonest, unreliable, clueless and uncaring, some 7 percent of employees categorize their boss as such.To encourage more Super Manager behavior, managers must understand the need for employee recognition and then learn how. In a 2005 Maritz buyers research study, HR managers reported their top need regarding recognition is manager training, which can be done via train-the-trainer workshops, for example.But recognition training only can be successful if the employee receiving recognition finds it personally fulfilling. Employees may appear similar or easily grouped into basic demographic segments such as generations, but what motivates them likely is very different. To have the most impact, break recognition down to the individual level.Superpowers in ActionRecently, entertainment restaurant Dave and Buster's wanted to improve its rewards and recognition program to foster better employee engagement and improve the customer experience. The program did not have the right rewards mix to motivate Gen X and Gen Y staff.The company created the Most Valuable Producer (MVP) points-bank program. Simple and easy for managers to use, the MVP program offered a wide range of awards and redemption methods tailored to different employee demographics.The MVP program also included a heavy communications push that targeted each individual employee. Using MVP, the company saw a significant decrease in employee turnover, managers embraced the opportunity to recognize their employees and managers, and employees bonded and became more engaged.Empowering managers to listen to their people, understand their differences and apply the right rewards-and-recognition mix can maximize motivation-related investments and ensure managers are being Super Managers - as long as there's no kryptonite lying around the office.[About the Author: Paula Godar is director of business development for Maritz.]
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2008-09-03T22:46:00.000-07:00

God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!God's Pharmacy! Amazing!

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye... and YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.
A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the res earch shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.
Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.
Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.
Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.
Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents c e rvical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).
Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.
Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics
Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries
Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.
Onions look like the body's cells. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. The y even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

Teaching and Learning

2008-08-06T01:00:00.000-07:00

Best way of teaching is by learning.

When we learn we are open to exploring, analysing and ready to find something new to add to what is known. Instead of learning quietly one can make it learning openly, allowing others to observe and react and aid in learning. To start and sustain the process of open learning one needs to have courage to ensure that our fears do not come in the way. Fear of loosing higher pedestal, respect, job, opportunity etc.

When people around us observe this method of learning, they become interested, find it easy to communicate and join the process.

When we start teaching we assume the position of a speaker. Our thoughts start reverberating in the mind space and it becomes difficult to listen. Hence it becomes a monologue. Without listening it is not possible to learn or make others learn since during the process the communication is most of the time one way.

While teaching we also assume a position of knowing all about it. Since knowledge on any subject is never finite this position is a false position and therefore obstructs learning.

In any learning environment the participants are at different levels of knowledge. There is no one completely ignorant and will have some impressions in his mind (leaving aside the jargons) if not the reservoir of information. At the same time there is no one who has complete and final knowledge since knowledge is infinite. The knowledge should be allowed to flow freely in order to enrich from each mind and become more substantial.

The one who takes the responsibility to conduct the learning session needs to only share his knowledge and provide direction so that the contributions from everyone remain relevant.

The ABC of Life Leads to DEFGH

2008-08-06T00:56:00.000-07:00

You are special, you are different
Your are a pleasant present to the world.
You are a unique gift and one of a kind.
Your life is actually lived in your mind.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
since troubles are like passing clouds!
And solutions are very much WithIN you
Understand your behaviour, gain an attitude of courage, be strong and win within.
Enable your powers, not be limited by problems.
Dream big and positive and you work on them relentlessly.
Change your beliefs and change your life.
Reach for your peak, your purpose and your rewards.
Anxiety and worry are all about past and future
The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets.
Learn to live in the present and that is the best gift
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
Love is about giving and forgiving
Not getting and forgetting!
Love is unconditional and not a bargain
Love yourself so that others love you too.
It is never too late to take the first step.
One step is better than no step at all
Do a little bit extra with ordinary things to make it extraordinary
Work on your uncommon asset - the common sense!
The ABC of life leads to DEFGH-
Attitudes, Behaviours & Competencies leads to Development & Empowerment for Future Growth & Happiness.

BE UNREASONABLE

2008-08-06T00:13:00.000-07:00

BE UNREASONABLE

One of my favorite quotes comes from George Bernard Shaw, who noted , " The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." Please think about that idea for a moment. I suggest it's a big one.
Sure, be practical and operate intelligently as you move through your world. I agree, its important to use common sense. True, foolish risks can lead to difficult consequences. But having said that, don't be so scared of failure and disappointment that you fail to dream. Don't always be so reasonable and practical and sensible that you refuse to seize glorious opportunities when they show up. Pust the envelope as to whats possible for you. Remember, critics have always laughed at the visions of bold thinkers and remarkable visionaries. Ignore them. And know that every outstanding piece of human progress was achieved through the heroic efforts of someone who was told their idea was impossible to realize. The world needs more dreamers. Unreasonable souls who fight the urge to be ordinary . Who resist the seduction of complacency and doing things the way they have always been done.You can be one of them . Beginning today.
Kahlil Gibran, in The Prophet, made the point far more beautifully than I ever could, when he wrote, " The lust for comfort murders the passion of the soul."

The Brain Science of Persuasion: 7 Automatic Triggers

2008-08-06T00:08:00.000-07:00

People make two major mistakes when trying to persuade others:
1. Using the argument that would work best on themselves
2. Overestimating the power of logic and rationality
The scientific study of persuasion has continued for more than half a century, yet executives across all fields make presentations based on these faulty assumptions.
Instead of researching what makes people buy or make decisions, they ask themselves, "What would motivate me to participate in this program or buy this product?"
When learning economics, finance and management, executives refer to outside experts to achieve a level of competence. But when it comes to persuasion skills, most believe they already possess an intuitive understanding of psychological principles, simply by virtue of living life and interacting with others. Consequently, they’re less likely to consult psychological research on how people make decisions.
This overconfidence leads many executives, managers and salespeople to miss opportunities for improving their presentations and efforts to influence others.
The fact is, persuasion can be defined, learned and successfully incorporated into anyone’s communication abilities. It doesn’t matter if you work in sales, marketing or another field directly related to persuasion. Every leader or manager depends on getting things done through others.
Getting Things Done Through Others
Personal and organizational success hinges on how well you persuade people to willingly follow your directions. Your boss may give you specific powers, but execution and results come from successfully influencing others.
So, what have we learned about the process of persuasion that we didn’t know before? What does brain science tell us about the natural processes of decision-making and being influenced? What can we learn to become better persuaders?
Actually, we’ve discovered a great deal in the last 10 to 15 years about how the human brain processes information. With the recent advent of live, real-time brain-imaging technology, we can now look at what happens inside the brain as we process information, make decisions and respond to others.
It’s important to emphasize that our brain isn’t similar to a computer. Author and neuroscientist Richard Restak, MD, puts it this way:
• "We are not thinking machines, we are feeling machines that think." (The Secret Life of the Brain)
• "Your brain is not a logic machine. As it turns out, emotions and feelings about something or someone occur before you’ve made any attempt at conscious evaluation." (Mozart’s Brain and the Fighter Pilot)
Feelings First, Logic Later
Most of us try to persuade by using our best arguments, best data, logical flow charts and rationality to generate the thinking, decisions and actions we seek. Business leaders still believe everyone relies heavily on logic and reason to make decisions. We’ve traditionally believed that emotion wreaks havoc on rationality, especially in business.
As science evolves, we’re starting to realize that emotions come first. Not only do they guide our decisions and actions, but we’re incapable of making decisions without them.
We use the emotional parts of our brain to make rational decisions. Emotional context helps us make the best choices, often in a split second, long before the rational centers of the brain are even activated.
It’s estimated that managers spend 80 percent of their time communicating with others, trying to persuade them to accomplish what needs to be done. But how well have leaders and managers understood how humans process information and make decisions?
Perhaps we should pay attention to what the new brain science tells us about persuasion.
Ethos, Logos and Pathos
Aristotle identified the three basic elements of every persuasive argument:
• Ethos — the credibility, knowledge, expertise, stature and authority of the person trying to persuade
• Logos — the appeal of logic, reason, cognitive thinking, data and facts
• Pathos — the appeal to the emotions; the non-cognitive, non-thinking motivations that affect decisions and actions
These elements are the powerful cornerstones of every persuasive argument or presentation. They aren’t weighted equally, however, and therein lies the hidden secret of unlocking your persuasive powers.
The Secret Key to Unlocking Persuasive Powers
If we pay attention only to these three keys, we still won’t unlock the full potential of our persuasive powers.
Research on the brain during decision-making reveals that we respond to persuasive attempts either analytically or automatically.
Those who respond analytically use a reasoned evaluative approach to come to a decision, but this requires enormous mental energy. The brain uses up reserves of glucose and calories whenever it evaluates. And because it’s human nature to conserve energy, most of us won’t respond with the extra effort required to be analytical.
In fact, most people slip into automatic response mode whenever possible. We avoid cognitive evaluation because it’s hard work. This doesn’t mean we’re lazy; it’s actually a primitive survival instinct. We automatically take the easy way to conserve energy in case we’re attacked or threatened.
That’s why most people don’t act on logic and reason. We make emotional decisions and then justify them with logic and reason.
The Brain’s Trigger Center
If we had to evaluate every decision before acting, we’d be exhausted. Instead, we rely on the limbic system and our brain’s center for emotions and memories, the amygdala. This part of the brain acts as our personal navigation system, with an internal data bank of triggers.
The more complicated and sophisticated our lives become, the more we rely on simple ways to make decisions and get through each day — a key concept in Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink. Smart managers, leaders and marketers understand this need.
This doesn’t mean you can skip logical arguments, but it does place less emphasis on reason and more on emotion. When you understand that people want to make rapid, automatic and accelerated decisions, you can make it easier on those you’re trying to influence and increase your success at persuasion.
How do we generate automatic influence? With triggers. Everybody has them. A trigger is any stimulus that will help us make a non-thinking decision or action. A trigger activates a person’s immediate compliance to an attempt to influence.
We are preprogrammed to comply with requests when a trigger is activated. It’s simply a shortcut to avoid the pain and effort of mental activity.
Each of us has infinite triggers, and some are universal. Research has identified seven super triggers. Once you understand them, you’ll see them everywhere — in every request you make, email you write and TV commercial you watch.
Seven Super Triggers
These triggers help us quickly sense and feel the best decision or action to take. They allow us to navigate paths that would be overwhelming and unmanageable if we had to constantly employ cognitive thought.
Most of us, especially marketing people, understand the trigger of benefits. Appeal to what people want, and talk to them in terms of solving a problem or filling a need. This is part of the hope trigger. But it’s only one limited approach. You can improve your chances of persuasion success by using more than one trigger.
Let’s examine the seven triggers that automatically influence others.
1. The Friendship Trigger
We are more easily influenced by people we like, and liking is a prerequisite for the other triggers. Friendship generates trust, and trust activates a strong internal trigger. This is the basis of the marketing axiom "people buy from people they know, like and trust." The best way to activate friendship is through similarity. Find connections and common interests, and listen to the people you wish to influence.
2. The Authority Trigger
We respond with unthinking, automatic compliance to those we believe have authority, credibility and power. Managers and leaders may think they have authority by virtue of their position, but without the likeability factor, this trigger is weakened. The authority trigger works because we assume the person in position of authority has done the evaluation work for us.
3. The Consistency Trigger
Our internal guidance system compels us to be consistent in the way we see ourselves and the peers we admire. We are slaves to consistency and conformity; in fact, these drives are hard-wired into our brain, governed by the amygdala.
The research is clear: Decisions are emotion based. When it’s time to make a decision, we call up an emotional memory that’s similar to the situation at hand, and we’re guided in the same direction.
4. The Reciprocity Trigger
One of the strongest, most universal internal triggers is the law of giving and receiving, or quid pro quo. Reciprocity is the well-documented psychological desire to give back to someone who has given us a gift. It’s another automatic response hard-wired into our brains. Marketers have been using bonus gifts and free samples for years.
5. The Contrast Trigger
Framing a proposition so it appears more desirable than an alternative is a proven automatic compliance technique. How you frame the proposal is critical: Always present the most onerous approach first, followed by what you really want.
6. The Reason Why Trigger
The brain looks for shortcuts to doing mental work. When you present a valid reason to accept a proposition, you achieve compliance. This concept has been successfully applied in myriad situations, and we know it works because we’ve seen the neural networks in the brain’s decision-making process. The amygdala seems to accept any valid reason and doesn’t bother to send the information to the cerebral cortex. When you provide a reason, you persuade successfully.
7. The Hope Trigger
Hope motivates all human activity. We are easily persuaded by those who understand our hopes, wishes and dreams. This is one of the strongest persuaders, underlying all others. We hope our decisions and actions will somehow improve our lives and status, helping us to become more successful and happy. Once we perceive an opportunity to satisfy our hopes, we seldom rely on rational, cognitive thought or logic before we act.
The constant desire for happiness is the foundation for the omnipotent hope trigger. Among the best examples are get-rich-quick scams, gambling and lotteries. The vitamin and cosmetic industries thrive because of the strong hopes and desires their marketing messages trigger. Not a shred of logic or reason is employed in weighing the odds.
Six Steps to a Persuasive Presentation
Virtually everything we communicate is a proposal of sorts. All persuasive communication hopes to move someone to do something. The best way to accomplish this is to use the brain’s natural processes.
We make most decisions based on the amygdala’s initial emotional response. If we deal with rationality and logic, it’s to reinforce these emotional decisions with logical information sent after the fact to the prefrontal cortex.
A properly framed presentation will be more easily understood and acted upon by the brain. Here’s a proposed outline for framing a successful presentation that persuades others to act in the direction you desire:
1. Write down your persuasion goal, what you hope to accomplish, what you expect others to do and the ideal time frame.
2. List the questions you’ll ask your audience to determine their perceptions on the issue.
3. List each of the seven internal triggers. Under each one, list every possible item that could apply. Select and prioritize the three or four triggers best suited to the situation.
4. Frame your presentation with the beginning and ending that have the highest impact. The friendship trigger, coupled with the reciprocity trigger, is a great start. You’ll also want early application of the authority trigger.
5. The body of the proposal, including the logic and data, will follow the other trigger information. Minimal application of logic and data will reinforce a positive decision.
6. Finally, frame your closure by defining precisely what you want your audience to do, and determine how you will ask for this action.

Planning a Workshop - Organizing and Running a Successful Event

2008-08-05T23:58:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has ever planned a workshop will tell you that it's a big job. And planning a good one? Well, that takes organization, focus, and a lot of creativity.Running a workshop is useful whenever you need a group of people to DO something together, rather than just report on what they’ve done. Examples include bringing experts together to solve complex problems, designing sophisticated processes that need the input of many different people, and making decisions that take into account the views of different individuals and groups. Some people HATE going to workshops. Done wrong, they can be a huge waste of time and money. However, if they're planned well, they can be incredibly valuable for everyone involved. This is why advance planning is critical.
So how do you prepare for a workshop that will be not only relevant and productive, but memorable as well?
Before the WorkshopFollow these steps to make sure your workshop is a valuable experience for everyone:
Step 1: Define the Goals Every workshop must have a goal. Do you need to improve your company's hiring procedures? Do you want to teach managers how to be better organizers? Do you need to do some team building with a newly formed team? Many workshops are a waste of time because there's no clear goal kept at the center of the discussion. Without this clear goal, there's really no point in getting people together.
Step 2: Decide Who Will AttendKnowing who will attend directly relates to your objective. For example, if your workshop's goal is to develop a detailed solution to a problem, then you probably want 10 or fewer key attendees. If your goal is centered on education, then you might be happy with a much larger group, which divides into smaller groups for discussion.Make a list of the people who need to be there. Try to be as specific as possible, but leave a few openings for last-minute additions.
Step 3: Choose the Right LocationIf you have 10 attendees, then the conference room down the hall will probably be just fine. But if you have 50 people, you may have to find an outside location that's large enough.Think about the logistics and practical details of your workshop when you choose the location. Will everyone be able to see your visual aids? If you need a certain technology, like teleconferencing, will the location support it? Are there appropriate facilities for breakout sessions? Will everyone be able to reach the venue? Will you need to organize accommodation for people who are coming from a long way away? And what catering facilities does the venue provide?
Step 4: Create an AgendaNow that you know your primary objective and who will attend, you can start to develop an outline of how you'll achieve the workshop's goal.
Main Points - Create a list of main points to discuss, and then break down each larger point into details that you want to communicate to your audience.
Visual Aids - List the visual aids, if any, you'll use for each point. If you need technical support, this helps the people providing it to determine where they need to focus their efforts.
Discussions & Activities - Take time to list exactly which group discussions and activities you'll have at which point in the workshop. How much time will you allow for each exercise? Make sure your activities are appropriate for the size of the group, and ensure that your venue has the resources (for example, seminar rooms) needed to run sessions.
Remember, the more detailed your plan, the more you'll ensure that your workshop will run to schedule - and be successful.
Step 5: Develop a Follow-up PlanThe only way to find out if your workshop was a success is to have an effective follow-up plan. Create a questionnaire to give to all participants at the end of the event, and give them plenty of opportunity to share their opinions on how well it went. Although this can be a bit scary, it's the only way to learn - and improve - for the next time.It's also important to have a plan to communicate the decisions that were reached during the workshop. Will you send out a mass email to everyone with the details? Will you put it on your company's intranet? People need to know that their hard work actually resulted in a decision or action, so keep them informed about what's happening after the workshop has ended.
During the Workshop - Getting People Involved
Once you have a solid advance plan, figure out how to bring some excitement into your event. You know the topics that you want to cover, but how will you make the information fun and memorable for your team?Getting everyone involved is key to a successful workshop. If you stand up and talk for three hours, you're just giving a lecture - not facilitating a workshop. Everyone needs to participate.Creating group exercises is different for each workshop. Keep these tips in mind:
Many people are nervous about speaking up in an unfamiliar group. If you plan group exercises, keep the size of each group small, so people are more comfortable talking and interacting.
Mix up different types of people in each group. For example, if several departments participate in your workshop, don't put members of the same department in their own group. By encouraging people to interact with other departments, they can learn to look at things from different perspectives.
Determine how you'll record the ideas from each group. Will participants shout them out while you write them down? Or will they write down their own ideas and then give them to you? This is a small, but important, detail that's often overlooked.
If you have five or fewer groups, spend time allowing the entire team to evaluate the ideas from each smaller group. This is a great way to narrow down your list of ideas, and let the good ones really shine.
Remember; spend as much time as you can create fun and interesting group exercises. These will likely keep everyone interested and participating.
Overall Workshop Tips
Here are some more ideas for running a successful workshop:
If you plan the meeting, you may want to facilitate it as well. Learn how to do this effectively in The Role of a Facilitator.
Start the meeting with a few Icebreakers to get everyone relaxed and comfortable.
If your workshop's goal is to address a difficult or sensitive topic, it's especially important to get the group comfortable before starting. One way is to tell a story that's loosely related to the topic before you begin discussing the difficult issue.
Sometimes, not everyone has to stay for the entire workshop. For instance, the CEO might be too busy to attend the whole session. Identify which sections your busiest participants need to attend, and suggest in advance when they might want to arrive and leave. They'll appreciate your consideration.
Where possible, avoid holding your workshop after lunch, between 2:00 and 3:00 in the afternoon. For many people, this is their slowest, most unproductive time of day. Your group will probably be more energetic if you schedule the event in the morning or late afternoon. (If you have to run the workshop in the early afternoon, make sure there's plenty of strong coffee available!)
If your workshop's ultimate goal is to make a decision about something, the more people who attend, the less likely it is that you'll reach a decision. Here, try to keep the number of people attending to a minimum (for example, by issuing minutes after the event to people who are just interested.) It's also important to become familiar with the different strategies for team decision making. See our article on Organizing Team Decision Making to learn more.
Key Points:
There's no doubt that planning a great workshop is a lot of work. But if you spend time thinking through the details, everyone will get full value from the event. The workshop's goal should be at the center of all your planning. Creative exercises will get everyone relaxed and involved, and don't forget to follow up afterward: Although it can be scary to hear what people really thought of all your hard work, it's the only way you'll improve your next event.

When Your Shoes Don't Fit

2008-08-05T23:47:00.000-07:00

In the past I would wear any type of shoe, including high heels, clogs and other fashionable, but uncomfortable shoes. Now I find myself selecting shoes, not so much for their appearance, but by whether they will allow me to stand for eight hours as I conduct daylong seminars.
Many times we buy shoes, not for their fit and comfort, but based on how good they look. There are aspects of our lives that are aptly described by the shoe analogy. We see a nice looking pair of (currently stylish) shoes. We ask to try them on and find that the store is out of that particular style in our size. We may insist that they bring another size and we try to make that size work because we really want those shoes NOW! Or, perhaps the store may have them in our size and although they don't feel right, we still buy and wear them, regardless of the pain.
Often we may select our friends, our relationships, our jobs or other aspects of our lives with the same mentality. They may not fit and they may pinch, but they look good to others.
Take a job that does not fit. The title may be impressive, the benefits may be good, and the pay may be respectable, but every day we go to work at a job or a company that does not fit. We may find ourselves pinched, constrained, rubbed the wrong way or blistered.
Perhaps we have chosen friends who are too restricted in their thinking, which does not meet our desire to have a more tolerant and positive view of the world. We may even be involved in a personal relationship with someone whose constricting demands may keep us from moving forward with our personal growth. Other people may bind us by their personal fears in an attempt to keep us as small as they may feel.
Why do we do these things? Often the response to that question is, "because they or it looks so good." Should it be so important to us to be admired by others that we will suffer pain and discomfort in our lives?
So what is a person to do? Select your shoes carefully, being concerned first of all for the fit. Understand also that our feet do grow as we grow older. If you try to fit your size 8 foot into a size 7 shoe just because you have always worn a size 7, be prepared for your feet's rebellious response.
If you are working in the same job, which you have outgrown and which brings you no pleasure, try expanding it into a better fitting position. If you are in a relationship with a person because he or she (or the situation) looks good but brings you no happiness, find a way to work with that person to make the relationship beneficial for both.
Affirmation:“If the shoe fits, I will wear it. If it does not, I will measure my feet and my expectations to determine if my needs have outgrown my former shoe size.”

40 Tips for a Better Life

2008-08-05T23:39:00.000-07:00

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Go to bed earlier and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following: 'Today, my primary purpose is to __________.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did last year.

7. Make time to practice meditation, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured or packaged in factories.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new energy flow into your life.

14. Don't waste your energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You won't win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Remember, God heals everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. Or email them to death!

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so make the most of every moment, every single day.

40. Please share this with those you care about.

CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD

2008-08-02T21:50:00.000-07:00

I have established laws in the universe that makes it possible to have - to create - exactly what you choose. These laws cannot be violated nor can they be ignored . You cannot not follow the law, for these are the way things work .You cannot operate outside of it.
Every moment of your life you have been operating inside of it .......
You are in partnership with God. My promise to you is to give you what you ask . Your promise is tomask to understand the process of asking and the answering .

Eckhart Tolle

End the delusion of Time

2008-08-02T20:31:00.000-07:00

The more you are focused on time _ the past and future _ the more you miss the Now , the most precious thing there is.Why is it the most precious thing? Firstly because it is all there is . The eternal present is the space within which your whole life unfolds, the one factor that remains constant .Life is now .There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be. Secondly the Now is the only point of access into the timeless and formless realm of Being.

Eckhart Tolle - The Power of now

THE POWER OF NOW

2008-08-02T20:12:00.000-07:00

The joy of being
As soon as you honor the present moment all unhapinessand struggle disolve,and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out of present moment awareness whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality , care and love _ even the most simple action.

Eckhart Tolle

Witnessing

2008-07-20T02:17:00.000-07:00

You will have to learn this new art of seeing things without judging , of seeing things without verbalising, of seeing things without evaluating.See the rose, see the bird on the wing, see the night full of stars, see the river passing by, see the traffic. Listen to the songs of the birds or a train passing by. Start learning a new art of just being reflective,not bring any thought in, not saying anything at all.
It will take time - old habits die hard - but one day it happens.If you persist , if you are patient enough, if you go on and on working at cleaning your inner world ,one day it happens.And the benediction of that day is immense. In fact , you are born anew.You start seeing the same world with new eyes because your eyes are so clear, your mirror reflects so deeply ,so totally,without distortion ,that the same trees that you have seen before thousands of times - are far more green than they have ever been . and their greenness is no ordinary greenness : it is luminous , it is radiating light.

OSHO

ZAZEN

2008-07-20T01:45:00.000-07:00

only by practising zazen,Satori is possibleZazen means simply siting ,doing nothing.You are simply relaxing into your own being,not doing anything at all.It is not a question of doing.It is simply a question of being.You go on relaxing into your being. A moment comes when you are in your utter purity ,in your utter simplicity, in your utter innocence .That is satori.
Zazen is a beautiful word .It simply means just sitting _ not even doing meditation. In fact , you cannot do meditation. Meditation is just sitting silently; it is not a question of doing. If you are doing somthing you are disturbing your meditation.

OSHO

satori

2008-07-20T01:25:00.000-07:00

To be ordinary ...and there isno competition at all.You can just be ordinary , nobody has any objection. People will simply feel sorry for you that you have dropped out of the competitive race.One competitor less..they will feel good but sorry for you.They will say "poor fellow!what happened to him?Why did he have to drop out?"The dropouts are not respectable people .
Buddha is a droupout.All real masters are dropouts.To be a sannyasin means to be a dropout. To dropout of the rat race is to drop in, because when you are in arace you cannot enter in.When you are no longer in the race there is no where to go.You start moving inwards because life is a flow : if there is no outer direction it takes the inner direction. If the goal is not there far away in the future, then you start moving into your nature in the present. That is satori.

OSHO

MENTORING

2008-06-25T04:42:00.001-07:00

OBJECTIVES
· To seek and improve the induction of graduate Engineer Trainees (and those introduced at the same level in other functions) and reduce wastage in the early stages of their employment.

· To develop the skills of new entrants to understand and cope with the organizational and personal issues in the early stages of their work life.

· To ensure the qualitative growth of the future technical and executive personnel over and above the training and development programmes.

· To encourage face to face relationship approach, which will engender understanding, enthusiasm and systematic growth.

· To bridge the gap between senior managerial and technical manpower and the newly inducted personnel

· To foster human talent and promote participative culture within the organization

· To evolve a knowledge management mechanism to transfer the expertise available with the seniors to the new generation of young executives.

· To enhance the mentoring capabilities of senior executives to use their experience and understanding achieved in fostering the talents of new generation of executives.

Most Trainees experience the problem of culture shock and uncertainty as they join a new organization. There is a certain amount of anxiety wondering whether they will really be able to make it. There is a search for meaning and purpose in the various activities assigned to them. Often they experience a feeling of not being cared for, insecure and threatened with fear of failure. Doubts on goals of the organization and their own personal goals converging.

Assigning a caring mentor to new recruits helps to overcome these problem. Through mentoring a faceless bureaucratic organization is transformed into a caring, understanding and supporting personal friend, guide and philosopher.

Mentoring is face to face relationship of a senior person (The Mentor) enabling a few carefully selected juniors (The Protégé) to experience personal concern, guidance and support to build their career in the organization.

All these require a great deal of human skills rather than a mere intellectual understanding of the steps and stages of Mentoring. It is not about ‘pep talk’, ‘preaching’ or subtle imposition of the seniors ideas, but about tapping the potentials and stimulating self direction and motivation in the juniors.

This Manual will serve as guidelines to the Mentoring process.

MENTORING-SOME DEFINITIONS

“Mentoring is a long term relationship that meets a development need, helps develop full potential, and benefits all partners, mentor, mentee and the organization” – Suzanne Faure

“Mentoring is a supportive learning relationship between a caring individual who shares knowledge, experience and wisdom with another individual who is ready and willing to benefit from this exchange, to enrich their professional journey” – Suzanne Faure

“Mentoring involves primarily listening with empathy, sharing experience (usually mutually), professional friendship, developing insight through reflection, being a sounding board, encouraging” – David Clutterbuck

A mentor is … “ an accomplished and experienced performer who takes a special, personal interest in helping to guide and develop a junior or more inexperienced person” – Stephen Gibb

“A mentor facilitates personal and professional growth in an individual by sharing the knowledge and insights that have been learned through the years. The desire to want to share these ‘life experiences’ is characteristic of a successful mentor” – Arizona National Guard

“Mentors in the workplace are simply people who help other people succeed” – Neave Hospital Southern Minnesota

“A mentor is a more experienced individual willing to share knowledge with someone less experienced in a relationship of mutual trust” – David Clutterbuck

“A great mentor has a knack for making us think we are better than we think we are. They force us to have a good opinion of ourselves, let us know they believe in us. They make us get more out of ourselves, and once we learn how good we really are, we never settle for anything less than our very best” – The Prometheus Foundation

WHO IS A MENTOR

· A mentor is a more experienced peer, a leader in a field who is interested in professional dialogue with a less experienced professional. We want to lear from those who have succeeded in meeting current challenges and who are interested in helping others.

· Mentor is one who is willing to find the time to be a sounding board, negotiator, and as someone who supports, clarifies, challenges and nurtures the processes of intellectual inquiry.

· Mentor is one who appreciates that a young executive is curious, seeking information, explanation, learning, has new ideas and suggestions, is ambitious, in a hurry to grow, seeking excitement, wanting to go places, is questioning, challenging, comparing and complaining.

· Mentor is one who guides, explains, teaches, instructs, advises, coaches, counsels. Suggests, shares and most importantly does a LOT OF LISTENING.

· Mentor is not the trainees or executives direct boss

QUALITIES OF MENTOR
EFFECTIVE – The Mentor must have a reputation of an effective Manager. This will help to ensure the Protégé’s respect and confidence.

RESPONSIVE – The ability to respond to individual circumstances and to work out various strategies understanding the Protégé’s point of view and his specific requirements at each stage. This is a key attribute.

ACCESSIBLE – ‘Presence and availability are of paramount importance’. The protégé will feel greater security if he can meet his Mentor at the time of his need. The Mentors willingness to invest time at the crucial moments and being available totally for the Protégé will go a long way in building a Mentor-Protégé relationship.

DEVELOPER – Basically every Mentor need to be a developer of people, their potentials and capabilities. The most effective mentoring is that which poses questions rather than imposes solutions, suggests rather than concludes,and subtly teaches rather than mechanically preaches.

COMMITTED – Above all an effective Mentor is committed to organizational goals and objectives. He is very keen that qualitative managerial personnel will be an asset to organizational effectiveness. This makes him committed to the Mentoring process.

SOME DO’s & DON’TS
MENTOR – PROTÉGÉ MEETINGS

DO’s
DON’TS

a) Greeting by words and action, offering a seat, putting at ease

a) Don’t make him feel that he is an intruder and unwelcome
b) Eye to eye contact

b) Don’t disclose in a hurry the prior knowledge about the problem

c) Understand and respond at the feeling level

c) Jumping straight into the subject
d) Highlight achievements and success

d) No interruptions
e) Listening to attentively and with receptivity and evince sincerity

e) Don’t Sermonise, sympathise / commiserate
f) Assurance of confidentiality and your availability to them

f) Don’t be argumentative
g) Neutral/non-distracting venue

g) Avoid embarrassing & fault finding questions

h) Summarise/rephrase the feelings expressed

h) Don’t lose sight of the joint exploration/do not take over the problem

i) Restate the problem for verification and clarification-Ascertain the core of the problem/and priority of the Protégé

i) Don’t force your authority and your views and quote rules

j) Explore the hidden agenda if any

j) Don’t offer solutions/advice
k) Enable him to explore possible alternatives/ arrive at a satisfactory acceptable solution

k) Don’t give solutions, or direct him to solutions
DO’s
DON’TS

l) Put him in the path of self-discovery and draw out potential

l) Don’t give the impression of outright rejection of his solutions indicated/offered if any
m) Enable him to analyse the pros and cons
m) Don’t promise support which you cannot render
n) Enable him to identify the support required
n) No unilateral imposition
o) Refer to professional / work support required.
p) Time for review and feedback

SOME PITFALLS

In its logic and theory, the mentoring process appears to be a deceptively simple process, however, in its formal implementation there are many practical problems.

· Often many senior managers experience great difficulties to relinquish their formal hierarchical role of power, authority and direction and to learn to perceive situations and problems as they appear to their juniors. Unwanted and untimely advice giving habits are wrongly thought to be mentoring.

· Many senior officers are kept busy all the time. Therefore, a realistic investment of time for mentoring, free from pressures is hard to find. This may discourage the enthusiastic junior.

· Mentoring process, if it has to be effective should stimulate loyalty to the organization and its goals rather than personal loyalties.

· Many juniors on the other hand may be slow to open to the seniors. Relationships is often considered to be a risk. The earlier experience of the organization may make them wonder whether it will be worthwhile to open up their strengths and weaknesses to the Mentor. Mutual respect and the facilitating atmosphere can only create a climate of trust and openness.

· “Working” for your mentee - Your Protégé request you write his/her resume eg., complete a scholarship application etc.,

Preferred response: I appreciate your faith in my ability to do that task. However, this is a step I’d rather not take. I prefer working behind the scenes with you and helping you do this important task yourself. I’ll be very glad to give you feedback as you go along.

· Playing personal counselor

This one can happen before you even realize it, so discuss some boundaries when you‘re setting up the partnership. Effective mentors don’t limit their helping to work-related issues. In fact, the best mentors help mentees with their total life issues and challenges. Yet, they pay attention to “the line”. They resist giving critical personal advice and counseling especially when the mentee is experiencing big psychological challenges. These can include major marital or family difficulties, drug or alcohol misues, depression, and other potentially complex and even life-threatening situations.

Preferred response: I’m glad you mentioned . I care very much about you and want to support you as you deal with this. As we discussed when we set up our relationship, we may run into something I’m not an expert on. I believe this is one of those situations. How about if we talk with …. On this and come up with a way you can get the assistance you need?

By all means get advice from your human resources or personnel experts anytime you believe your mentee is heading into difficult areas.

GUIDELINES FOR MENTORS & PROTEGES

· Successful mentoring relationships don’t just happen. Even when the company has a workable mentoring system, the relationship will not be a productive one unless the mentor and Protege both understand their roles. Here, are some guidelines that can help.

· One of the most important aspects of a good mentoring relationship is to meet on a regular basis – atleast once a month. You cannot develop a good relationship if you don’t get to know each other so take the time to meet.

· As a Protege, you need to know where you are going. It is frustrating for the mentor to ask you what you think and hear you say, “I don’t know”. Be prepared to discuss alternatives you are considering, and ask for input on those alternatives.

· Be a good listener

· Do not betray confidence. This is true whether you are the mentor or the Protege. When the other party tells you something, remember that it is for your ears only and not for distribution.

· Mentors should discuss strengths and developmental needs with Proteges and provide guidance in developing these areas. They should provide feedback on technical and interpersonal competence as perceived by customers and influential decision makers. And they should help Proteges set appropriate career goals.

· Mentors should help Protegess understands how to participate within the organizational structure and should provide information on available opportunities in the organization.

· Protegess should not be overly sensitive to criticism. If you are the Proteges, remember that criticism is offered to help you grow and understand, so don’t be defensive.

· Proteges should not brag about their relationship with their mentor This can put the mentor on the spot.

· Proteges should not get too personal about themselves. Keep the relationship on a business level. Mentors are there to provide business advice. They may feel uncomfortable mixing personal information into the mentoring relationship.

· Both parties should be sensitive to the issues of sexual harassment or discrimination. Be aware of the risks in the business environment; keep behaviour within appropriate bounds.

· If either the mentor or the Protege finds that he or they are not able to develop a successful mentoring relationship that person should contact a member of the HR team that guides the mentoring program.

· The most important elements of a successful mentoring relationship is trust. Once trust is broken, so is the relationship.

ROLES OF MENTORS

Communicator

· Encourages two way exchange of information
· Listen to Protege’s career concerns and responds appropriately
· Establishes an environment for open interaction
· Schedules uninterrupted time to meet with Protege
· Acts as a sounding board of ideas and concerns

Counselor

· Works with Protege to identify and understand career related skills, interests and values
· Helps Protege evaluate appropriateness of career options
· Helps Protege plan strategies to achieve mutually agreed upon personal goals

Coach

· Helps to clarify performance goals and developmental needs
· Teaches managerial and technical skills
· Reinforces effective on-the-job performance
· Recommends specific behaviours in which the Protege needs improvement
· Clarifies and communicates organizational goals and objectives
· Serves as a role model to demonstrate successful professional behaviours – leads by “example”

Advisor

· Communicates the informal and formal realities of progression in the organization
· Recommends training opportunities from which the Protege could benefit
· Recommends appropriate strategies for career direction
· Reviews the Protege’s development plan on a regular basis
· Helps the Protege to identify obstacles to career progression and to take appropriate action

Referral Agent

· Expands the Protege’s network of professional contacts
· Helps bring together different Proteges who might mutually benefit by helping each other
· Helps link Proteges with appropriate educational opportunities
· Helps the Protege identify resources required for career progression
· Identifies resources to help the Protege with specific problems
· Follows up to ensure that the referred resources were useful

Advocate

· Intervenes on the Protege’s behalf representing the Protege’s concerns to higher level management for redress on specific issues
· Arranges for the Protege to participate in high-visibility activities within or outside the organization.

MENTORING SCHEME

A. Diploma Engineer Trainees and Graduate Engineer Trainees who join the Organisation will be under the tutelage of Assistant Managers, Dy Managers or Managers who volunteer as Mentors.

B. The FLP identified Executives and new recruits from Management Institutes and M Techs will be mentored by Senior Managers, DGMs and GMs.

Sl.No. Stages of Mentoring Process Responsibility

1. Invite Volunteers to be Mentor Unit/Corporate HR
2. Finalise List of Mentors Unit Head, Divisional Head, ED-HR
3 Mentoring Skills Workshop – 1 day Management Devpt
4.a. Assign Proteges to Mentors for New Entran Unit HR

b. Proteges to select 2 possible Mentors from Mentor list Corporate HR
5 Protégé and Supervisors, Immediate Reporting Officer to meet
and discuss objectives and duration of Mentoring process Immediate Supervisor
6 Mentor and Supervisor to meet and discuss objectives
and duration of Mentoring Process Immediate Supervisor
7 Mentor and Protégé to meet
-Rapport Building
-Schedule for further meetings
-Understand the Mentoring Process and Objectives Mentor
8 Mentor Protégé Meet
On conclusion of Mentoring period Mentor/Protégé
9 Mentors Report of Observations on Protégé’s strengths and
Improvement areas to Unit HR/Corporate HR Mentor
10 Proteges observation on the Mentoring Process –
Report to Unit HR / Corporate HR Proteges
11 Review of Mentoring Process Unit Head /ED-HR

FORMAT FOR MENTORS OBSERVATIONS ON COMPLETION OF MENTORING PERIOD

Name of Mentor

Name of Protégé

Mentoring Period

No of Meetings
With Protégé

Protégé’s Strengths

Proteges Improvement Areas

Mentors Experience of the Mentoring Process and suggestions

Signature of Mentor
Date

FORMAT FOR PROTEGES OBSERVATIONS ON COMPLETION OF THE MENTORING PROCESS

Name of Protégé
Name of Mentor
Mentoringriod
No of Meetings
How did the Mentoring Process help you?

In what way could the Mentor have been of more help to you?

What is the one thing you liked most about the Mentor?

What is the one thing you did not like about the Mentor?

Your Experience of the Mentoring process and suggestions

Signature of Protégé
Date

CONCLUSION

Mentoring is a tool that organizations can use to nurture and grow their people. It can be an informal practice or a formal program. Proteges observe, question, and explore. Mentors demonstrate, explain and model. The following assumptions form the foundation for a solid mentoring program.

Deliberate learning is the cornerstone. The mentor’s job is to promote intentional learning which include the capacity building through methods such as instructing, coaching, profiding experiences, modeling and advising.

Both failure and success are powerful teachers. Mentors, as leaders of a learning experience certainly need to share their “success” stories. They also need to share their experiences of failure. Both types of stories are powerful lessons that provide valuable opportunities for analyzing individual and organizational realities.

Leader need to tell their stories. Personal scenarios, anecdotes and case examples, because they offer valuable, often unforgettable insight, must be shared. Mentors who can talk about themselves and their experiences establish a rapport that makes them “learning leaders”.

Development matures overrtime. Mentoring, wen it works, taps into continuous learning that is not an event, or even a string of discrete events. Rather it is the synthesis of ongoing event, experiences, observation, studies and thoughtful analyses.

Mentoring is a joint venture Successful mentoring means sharing responsibility for learning. Regardless of the facilities, the subject matter, the timing and all other variables, Successful mentoring begins with setting a contract for learning around which the mentor, the protégé and their respective line managers are aligned.
BIBLIOGRAPHY

Coaching Network.orgwk

A model of Research Mentoring for Higher Education – A Mikkelson

Tips for Mentors – Linda Phillips – Jones

The Mentoring Group – Worldwide Mentoring Services

Mentoring: A Practioners Guide – Adrianne H Geiger – DuMond and Susan K Boyle

Mentor and Protégé – A J Brito, HODCONTS

RELIGION

2008-06-24T00:59:00.000-07:00

Your daily life is your Temple and your Religion.
Whenever you enter into it take with you, your all.
Take the plough and the forge and the mallet and the lute,
The things that you have fashioned in neccessity or for delight.
For in reverie you cannot rise above your achievements nor fall lower than your failures .
And take with you all men;
For in adoration you cannot fly higher than their hopes nor humble yourself lower than their despair.
And if you would know God ,be not therefore a solver of riddles.
Rather look about you and you shall see Him playing with your children.
And look into space; you shall see Him walking in the cloud ,out stretching His arms in the lightening and descending in the rain.
You shall see Him smiling in flowers, then rising and waving His hands in trees.

Khalil Gibran

PAIN

2008-06-24T00:43:00.000-07:00

Your pain is breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life,
your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart ,even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self - chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust your physician , and drink his remedy in silence and tranquilty:
For his hand , though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the unseen,And the cup he brings,though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of clay which the potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

Khalil Gibran

from conversations with god

2008-06-19T04:56:00.000-07:00

Nothing can happen,nothing can occur in your life which is not a precisely perfect opportunity for you to heal something ,create something ,or experience something that you wish to heal, create or experience in order to be Who You Really Are.

From conversations with God

2008-06-19T04:40:00.000-07:00

You Teach what you have to learn
It is not necessary to have achieved perfection to speak of perfection
It is not necessary to have achieved Mastery to speak of mastery
It is not necessary to have reached highest level of evolution to speak of the highest level of evolution

PRESENTATION SKILLS

2008-06-19T03:42:00.000-07:00

Presentation Skills
( two day workshop )

# Icebreaker Pair up with a partner
Get to know your partner 5-min
Prepare to introduce your partner non-verbally 5 min
Introduce your partner nonverbally - to be video recorded( to get used to facing the camera)

# Prepare to make a 3-min presentation on any interesting episode in your life - to be video recorded
10 min for preparation
Brief participants not to look into the camera but at participants

# Video record 3 min talk
Indication to be given to speaker at 2 min to help wind up
Participants to be evaluated by others

@ Break for Tea after recording

# Why is giving an effective presentation so important
E.g. of two equally competent Managers - cutting edge of communication

# Elements of Effective Verbal Communication
Idea or thought or image in mind
Encoding into suitable language or words
Sequencing and structuring the content
Delivering or expressing the encoded idea through speech
Receiving feedback from Listener
# Elements of non verbal communication
Eye contact
Body posture
Gestures
Facial Expression
Mannerisms
The Three Vs of Communication
CHIN exercise
VERBAL 7 %
VOCAL 38 %
VISUAL 55 %
# FEAR of Presentations
# One of the commonest fears
Fear of audience
Know your audience
See your audience as your ally
Remember you are the expert
Pick a few in the audience spread around and speak to them, don't ignore the others
Fear related to content
Prepare your speech
Organize your material
Practice helps
Make the Material Appealing
Rely on cue cards
Fear relating to use of presentation equipment
Familiarize yourself with the set up
Be prepared for any eventuality
Keep abreast of technology
But purpose is to communicate ideas and information not to dazzle with fancy graphics
Fear of one's own abilities
Attribution Theory
Power of self-talk
Elastic band and forefinger exercise, two palm up Hydrogen balloon on one heavy weight on another

# Relevance of Preparation
Rudyard Kiplings SIX SERVING MEN
WHY? WHAT? WHO? WHERE? WHEN? HOW?

# Rule of 3 Tells

# Start with lasts slide - build presentation around that

# Principle of KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid
Use language with care (exercise on connotative meaning)
Use words that communicate feeling (LOGOS, PATHOS, ETHOS)
Avoid Modifiers
Go for Active Voice
Use words that come easily to you (language to express not to impress)
Single Syllable words

# FOG INDEX
To calculate readability
1.Total no of words Divided by no of sentences = avg. sentence length
2. No. Of difficult words divided by total no. Of words multiplied by 100 = % of difficult words
1 + 2 multiplied by .4
Good readability should be between 8 - 12

# Delivery
Good delivery is seamless
Formal yet conversational
Rehearse the presentation
Practice aloud
Get control of your ideas but do not memorize
Use your notes sparingly
Take note of voice quality (modulation AUM exercise), eye contact, and gestures.
Pace yourself not too slow not too fast
Dress for success

@ Break for Lunch

# REPLAY video recording
Feedback
@ Break for Tea

# Film on Effective Presentations

# Video record 2nd 3 min Talk

@ Break for Tea

# Measuring your Audience
Listening process
Sensing, attending, understanding, remembering
(Slides page 26 to 30)
Going down route 360
Speaking rate 120 words per min
Hearing rate 480 words per min ,Shortfall of 350 words
Listening Riddles

# Dealing with Questions

# Presentation Styles

High Empathy
High Projection
Ideal Communication

Low Empathy
Low Projection
Take it or leave it

Low Empathy
High Projection
Powerful but buy may be low

High Empathy
Low Projection
Weak Presentation

# Impact of presentation

Rich content + poor Delivery = Apathy
Poor content + Good Delivery = Initial Enthusiasm
Rich content + Excellent Delivery = Sustained Action

# Replay video recording
Feedback

@ Lunch break

# Syndicate work prepares and present a 15-minute talk on any topic
Provide old Magazines for material
Cut paste pictures
Use paper projector

@ Break for Tea

GROUP PRESENTATIONS implementing learning

Assertiveness module

2008-06-19T03:26:00.001-07:00

Assertiveness Skills
(2 Days Workshop)

· Ice Breaker: Tea Party - questions from - Getting to Know you
Or
The Story of…

· Norms : Confidentiality
Listen to each other
Time keeping

· Why are we here : Syndicate to work on
Their reason for attending
Things which will help them to achieve this learning
Things which will hinder the learning
Any worries or concerns about Assertiveness training

· What is assertive behaviour?
Syndicate work: what characteristics distinguish an assertive person
From a passive or aggressive person.

@ Tea Break

· Slides on Assertive Behaviour ( pages 1 - 4 )

· Exercises on assertive behaviour
Distinguishing nature of behaviour in various situations
Cold Soup exercise

· Am I Managing?
Scoring and briefing
Helps to recognise where they need to concentrate their efforts during assertiveness training.

· What if? : In Dyads/Triads
Assertiveness Training demands honest self - awareness. You must really know yourself, recognise and acknowledge your good points, but accept every aspect of your nature, ' warts and all '.

· Effectiveness Questionnaire
Scoring and briefing

· Conflict Management Styles
Questionnaire & scoring
Debrief on 5 styles & their uses

@ Break for Lunch

· Case Study

· Ladder of Success
Sheet 1 - serious introspective exercise

Column 10 situations in which you would like to behave more assertively
Reference can be made to what if exercise outcomes.

Column B Identify their usual behaviour pattern e.g.
If situation is " I need to assert my authority with one difficult member of my team "
Existing behaviour could be " I loose my cool ' or ' I leave things as they are hoping things will improve "

Column C identifies current behaviour as aggressive, passive or manipulative.

· Recap Day 1 Learning

· Self talk :
We often fail to behave assertively because we are afraid of possible outcomes, of what might happen. Irrational beliefs can be barrier to assertive behaviour. If we can confront these negative thoughts and replace them with rational beliefs it will help us become more at ease with ourselves and behave more assertively.
Distribute exercise sheet
Face - dilemma
Bubbles - negative thought
· Do an example
Dilemma: neighbors who persistently park their car in front of your house
Negative thought: it could cause bad feeling between us
They might not speak to me again
They might retaliate in some way
They could complain about something that I do
Etc
Think of positive rational counterparts to these statements and substitute.
· Give an exercise for participants to do
E.g. Asking for repayment of some money you lent 6 weeks ago
· Participants to take two situations where they fail to act effectively because negative talk gets in the way. Fill the bubbles with negative self-talk.
· Share with partner challenge each others negative bubbles, substitute with counterparts

@ Break for Tea

· Assertiveness Techniques ( slides page 6 - 11 )

· Behaviour Review :
Syndicate reading

· I can handle it :
Participant to make 2 lists of criticism to be leveled against them one justified the other untrue.
Exchange list with colleague
Colleague to choose any one criticism, the owner to respond appropriately, others to give feedback to the person receiving the criticism.

@ Break for Lunch

· Discrepancy:
Role Play Activity
Distribute exercise sheet
Triads to role play situations - one observer and take turns
Depict good role-plays to large group
Can this be used in real life situations too?
While challenging discrepancies, the assertive approach is to keep to the facts, e.g. 'this is what we agreed', this is what I expected', Be straightforward, make no apologies, do not accuse or blame. Talk about the situation not personalities. Ascertain whether there is a problem beyond the control of the other person, which might account for the discrepancy. Allow them to respond. Only when you have full knowledge of facts will you be able to assess how to best handle the situation.

· Requests and Refusals :
· One of the central tenets of assertive philosophy is the belief that we all have personal rights. Acting assertively on these rights (rather than demanding or repressing) helps us to see ourselves in a more positive way. Confidence and self-esteem grows. Assertiveness is not about demanding or even getting one's own way, it's not about demanding, or even having requests granted - the other person has as much right to refuse as you have to ask.
· Distribute - List of personal rights - List those relevant to your situation

@ Break for Tea

· Broken Record : Role Play
If you have watched television interviews with politicians you would have witnessed Broken Record in action. However persistent, persuasive or abusive the interviewer becomes if the politician does not want to answer the question she or he will merely repeat what they want the listening public to hear over and over again, sometimes altering the phraseology but basically saying the same thing until the interviewer gives up and moves on to another topic.
The broken record can be used to good effect when you want to hold firm - to refuse a request, to refuse to be drawn into talking about an issue, to assert your rights etc.

Distribute role-play situations

· I would if I could :
Just saying NO can raise hackles, or make the other person feel rejected or resentful. This is why most of us feel more comfortable offering some kind of explanation to soften the blow of a direct refusal. However it is important to keep reasons short and to the point and to include the word NO in any refusal so that it leaves the other person in no doubt as to our firmness of intent.

3 point plan:
1.Acknowledge that you have understood the request and that you understand the other person's viewpoint
E.g. ' yes, you do need a break away from the family and I can see your difficulty'
2. Say that you can't, give your reasons why. Keep this brief and to the point
E.g. ' I can't lend my camper- van. I am not insured for other drivers and in any case I don't lend my van to anyone, not even family
3. Let the other person know that the matter is closed by actually saying NO
E.g. so no, I won't let you borrow it for your holiday.

· Participants to take turns making a request and refusal with one observer
· Distribute situations - requesters, refusers , observers

· Ladder of Success
Sheet 2
Participants to work in triads to discuss entries in Ladder of success sheet 1
Prioritise the problem on their Ladder of success sheet 2. The easiest situation to tackle on number 1, the bottom rung of the ladder and the others recorded in ascending order of difficulty.
You should feel safe and secure on each rung before attempting to climb further.
This is your personal action plan.

· FILM that can be used ( can substitute conflict management and case study )
Working with Assertiveness Part 1 & 2 or
Ek Rukha Huva Faisala
12Angry men

Assertiveness module

2008-06-19T03:26:00.000-07:00

Assertiveness Workshop

Day 1
830 to 930 Introductions - The Story of….
Expectation sharing
Ground rules

930 to 1030 Syndicate Work
What is Assertiveness

1030 to 1045 Tea

1045 to 1145 SLIDES
Aggressive , Passive , Assertive Behaviour

1145 to 1245 Exercises
Pen paper
Cold Soup

1245 to 1330 Lunch

1330 to 1415 Effectiveness Questionaire

1415 to 1500 What if…….

1500 to 1515 Tea

1515 to 1615 Ladder of Success 1 & 2

Day 2
830 to 9 Recap

9 to 10 30 Assertiveness Techniques
SLIDES

1030 to 1045 tea

1045 to 1245 Working with Assertiveness
Video part 1 & 2

1245 to 1330 Lunch

1330 to 1500 Self Talk
Behaviour review asking for , giving and
Taking criticism
I can Handle it
Request and refusal

College to Corporate

2008-06-16T23:43:00.000-07:00

Resumes & Interviews
How College Students Can Avoid Getting “Whittled Out”
In a struggling economy, hiring managers get flooded with resumes for job openings. How can you avoid being whittled out of the candidate mix in the early stages?
Pay attention to detail—You probably have sent out dozens of resumes and may be tempted to cut corners by, for instance, by not proofreading your cover letter, failing to include information the hiring manager asked for, or beginning a cover letter "Dear Sir or Madam" when the hiring manager's name is on the company web site. The moral to this story? Take the time to make sure the correspondence and information you send is correct and error-free.
Do the basics—Proofread for spelling, grammar, and tone, and make sure you have followed the instructions of the employer. Firing off an e-mail is a convenient method of communication. However, don't let the sloppy nature and informality of e-mail correspondence seep into your ommunications—whether it's e-mailed or written—with potential employers.
Construct an effective resume—Organize the information in a logical fashion and keep descriptions clear and to the point. Include as much work experience as possible, even if it obviously doesn't relate to the job you are seeking. Also, use a simple, easy-to-read font.
Customize your response—Address the hiring manager directly, and include the name of the company and the position for which it is hiring in your cover letter/e-mail response.
Make it easy for the hiring manager—Use your name and the word "resume" in the e-mail header so it's easy to identify. If the employer asks for information—such as references or writing samples—make sure to provide it.
Focus on what you take to the employer, not what you want from the job—This is an opportunity for you to market yourself and stand out from the other candidates. What can you do to make the hiring manager's life easier? What can you do to help the company?
Be professional—You won't be taken seriously if they don't have e-mail or voice mail/answering machine. If you don't have e-mail, for instance, free accounts are available through Yahoo! and Hotmail. Provide the recruiter with a cell phone number if your voice mail/answering machine doesn't pick up when you are online. Also, it's a good idea for you to ditch the cute e-mail address or voice mail/answering machine messages in favor of ones that are more professional.

Your Guide to Resume Writing
How to Prepare an Effective Resume
1. Resume Essentials
Before you write, take time to do a self-assessment on paper. Outline your skills and abilities as well as your work experience and extracurricular activities. This will make it easier to prepare a thorough resume.
2. The Content of Your Resume
Name, address, telephone, e-mail address, web site address
All your contact information should go at the top of your resume.
· Avoid nicknames.
· Use a permanent address. Use your parents' address, a friend's address, or the address you plan to use after graduation.
· Use a permanent telephone number and include the area code. If you have an answering machine, record a neutral greeting.
· Add your e-mail address. Many employers will find it useful. (Note: Choose an e-mail address that sounds professional.)
· Include your web site address only if the web page reflects your professional ambitions.
Objective or Summary
An objective tells potential employers the sort of work you're hoping to do.
· Be specific about the job you want. For example: To obtain an entry-level position within a financial institution requiring strong analytical and organizational skills.
· Tailor your objective to each employer you target/every job you seek.
Education
New graduates without a lot of work experience should list their educational information first. Alumni can list it after the work experience section.
· Your most recent educational information is listed first.
· Include your degree (A.S., B.S., B.A., etc.), major, institution attended, minor/concentration.
· Add your grade point average (GPA) if it is higher than 3.0.
· Mention academic honors.

Work Experience
Briefly give the employer an overview of work that has taught you skills. Use action words to describe your job duties. Include your work experience in reverse chronological order—that is, put your last job first and work backward to your first, relevant job. Include:
· Title of position,
· Name of organization
· Location of work (town, state)
· Dates of employment
· Describe your work responsibilities with emphasis on specific skills and achievements.
Other information
A staff member at your career services office can advise you on other information to add to your resume. You may want to add:
· Key or special skills or competencies,
· Leadership experience in volunteer organizations,
· Participation in sports.
References
Ask people if they are willing to serve as references before you give their names to a potential employer.
Do not include your reference information on your resume. You may note at the bottom of your resume: "References furnished on request."
3. Resume Checkup
You've written your resume. It's time to have it reviewed and critiqued by a career counselor. You can also take the following steps to ensure quality:
Content:
· Run a spell check on your computer before anyone sees your resume.
· Get a friend (an English major would do nicely) to do a grammar review.
· Ask another friend to proofread. The more people who see your resume, the more likely that misspelled words and awkward phrases will be seen (and corrected).
Design:
These tips will make your resume easier to read and/or scan into an employer's data base.
· Use white or off-white paper.
· Use 8-1/2- x 11-inch paper.
· Print on one side of the paper.
· Use a font size of 10 to 14 points.
· Use nondecorative typefaces.
· Choose one typeface and stick to it.
· Avoid italics, script, and underlined words.
· Do not use horizontal or vertical lines, graphics, or shading.
· Do not fold or staple your resume.
· If you must mail your resume, put it in a large envelope.

Action Words
Use action words to describe your experience and accomplishments. Here are some actions words to use:
achieved
acquired
adapted
addressed
administered
analyzed
anticipated
assembled
assisted
audited
budgeted
calculated
centralized
changed
collaborated
composed
condensed
conducted
constructed
contracted
converted
coordinated
created
cultivated
demonstrated
designed
developed
devised
discovered
doubled
drafted
edited
eliminated
enforced
established
evaluated
expanded
explained
forecasted
formed
founded
generated
guided
hired
implemented
improved
informed
insured
interpreted
interviewed
launched
maintained
managed
marketed
minimized
motivated
negotiated
obtained
operated
organized
originated
oversaw
performed
planned
prevented
produced
programmed
promoted
provided
publicized
published
recruited
reorganized
reported
researched
resolved
reviewed
selected
separated
set up
simplified
solved
surveyed
staffed
supervise
taught
tested
trained
used
A third-party recruiter may be helpful to you in your job search, but be a wise consumer. Read all materials carefully. Ask questions. Ask your career services office staff for information. Ask a lawyer to read any contracts you are asked to sign. Here are some general questions you may want to ask:
How many job openings are there for someone in my field? If you have the opportunity, inquire about the positions being filled or the number of openings related to your field. These are important questions because, in some instances, recruiters may not really have the type or number of openings they advertise. They may be more interested in adding your name to their candidate pool as a means of attracting more employers or clients to their services. Or they may be collecting resumes from students for potential job opportunities. Your school may or may not not allow third-party recruiters to interview students unless they are trying to fill actual job openings.
How is this information being used? A third-party recruiter is allowed legally to share your resume with the contract employer for positions that you are actually seeking. The recruiter must tell you, in clear terms, that your materials and information will not be shared outside the organization or used for any purpose other than with the company they represent at the time they interview you. The third-party recruiter cannot sell your information to anyone else. You may choose to authorize the recruiter to share your data elsewhere, but your authorization should be given to the recruiter in writing.
Are candidates treated equally and fairly? If you are qualified for the job opportunity, the third-party recruiter must pass your information to employers without regard to your race, color, national origin, religion, age, gender, sexual orientation, or disability.
Who pays the fee? Before you agree to anything or sign a contract, ask the recruiter who will pay the fee

Four Sample Resumes

Resume #2
Resume #3
Resume #4

Sample Resume for Applying for an Internship
SANDI L. SOPHOMORE
Local Address111 Baker StreetNewark, DE 19711(302) 555-9876sls@udel.edu

Permanent Address100 Main StreetAnywhere, NJ 01234(215) 555-8765 sls01@aol.com

OBJECTIVE
An internship in public relations that would allow me to develop my skills, while contributing to organizational goals.
EDUCATION

Bachelor of Arts in English, May 2004University of DelawareNewark, DECourse work in News Writing, Oral Communication, and Computers
G.P.A.= 3.29/4.0

High School Diploma, June 2000St. Mark's High SchoolWilmington, DE
G.P.A.=3.14
EXPERIENCE
Customer Service, Newark Video, Newark, DE (Fall 2000) Help more than 150 patrons weekly. Operate the cash register and close store. Voted employee of the month twice. Set up window displays.
Lifeguard, Blake Swim Club, Anytown, NJ (Summers 2000, 2001) Promoted to head lifeguard. Gave swim lessons to toddlers.
Server, Friendly's Restaurant, Anytown, NJ (September 1998-May, 1999) Provided excellent service to patrons. Trained new employees.
ACTIVITIES
Volunteer for Big Sisters (Fall 1999 to present) Chorus (Fall 1998 to present) Intramural Tennis (September 2001) News Reporter, Skylark (High School Newspaper) (1998 to 2000)
SKILLS
Microsoft Office: Word, Power Point, Excel; basic knowledge of HTML.

Add Up Your Qualifications

Whatever you're planning to do with your summer—a summer job, an internship, a volunteer opportunity—you'll probably gain some skills that you can highlight on your resume or in interviews during your job search. Use the chart below to journal your experiences—and add it to your job-search preparation diary.
The first column lists the qualities and skills employers say they look for in new hires, according to the Job Outlook 2005—Student Version. Use the next column to list specific instances when and how you used a skill.

Desired Skills
Examples of Skill Used
Communication skills (verbal)

Communication skills (written)

Honesty/integrity

Interpersonal skills (relate well to others)

Strong work ethic

Teamwork skills (work well with others)

Analytical skills

Motivation/initiative

Flexibility/adaptability

Computer skills

Detail oriented

Facts to Gather Before Interviewing
It pays to research a company before you arrive for an interview. Employers say that they are interested in candidates who ask intelligent questions and are able to make intelligent conversation based on what they know about the organization. They are unimpressed by candidates who know nothing about the company, what the company does, or the position being offered.
· Key people in the organization
· Major products or services
· Size in terms of sales and employees
· Locations other than your community
· Organizational structure of the company
· Major competitors
· View of the company by clients, suppliers, and competition
· Latest news reports on the company or on local or national news that affects the company
· Learn as much as you can about the company beforehand—know its products and services, its profit margin, its management, its culture, its dress code, and anything else you can think of. Good sources are your career services center, a college or public library, and the Internet.
· Do practice interviews. Many career services centers offer workshops, mock interviews, or one-on-one coaching. Some even make videotapes of mock interviews.
· Think about how your experience in work, classes, and activities can relate to the job you’re seeking.
· Allow plenty of time to get to the interview and, if possible, visit the site in advance and time how long it takes to get there.
· Plan your interview attire in advance and make sure your clothing is pressed, your shoes are shined, and your hair and nails are well groomed.
· Bring extra copies of your resume and a list of references.
· Speak slowly and clearly and don’t be afraid to pause for a moment to collect your thoughts.
· Be honest. Don’t try to cover up mistakes. Instead, focus on how you learned from them.
· Be assertive. Remember that the interview is a way for you to learn if the job is right for you.
· Ask the interviewer for a business card and send a thank-you note or e-mail as soon as possible.

Appropriate Attire Is a Must

The clothing you wear to your interview should make you look like you will fit in at your prospective employer. When in doubt, err on the side of conservatism, suggest the experts. Even if the company has a "business casual" dress policy, you're better off dressing a bit on the stuffy side than in taking a gamble only to find that your idea of casual doesn't match that of your prospective employer.
For Men
Traditional business attire means a dark, conservative suit and a white, long-sleeved (even in summer), pressed dress shirt.
Ties should be silk and coordinate well with the suit. Avoid flashy patterns on ties—the job interview isn't the time to prove how much of an individualist you are.
If you wear an earring (or several), remove it before the interview.
For Women
Traditional business attire is a conservative suit or dress.
Avoid wearing jewelry and makeup that are showy or distracting.
Forget the excessively long fingernails—they, too, are distracting. If you wear nail polish, make sure it's a subtle color and neatly done.
For Everyone
Avoid wearing too much cologne or perfume.
Your hair should be clean and well-groomed.
Shoes should be polished and coordinate with your suit or dress.
An interview isn't a beauty contest, but how you dress and your overall appearance almost always get noticed by the interviewer. Don't give the interviewer a chance to rule you out because you didn't feel like ironing your shirt or polishing your shoes. Dress in a business-like, professional manner, and you'll be sure to fit in wherever you interview.

10 Steps to a Successful Interview

Arrive on time.
Introduce yourself in a courteous manner.
Read company materials while you wait.
Have a firm handshake.
Listen.
Use body language to show interest.
Smile, nod, give nonverbal feedback to the interviewer.
Ask about the next step in the process.
Thank the interviewer.
· Write a thank-you letter to anyone you have spoken to.

Some Situations
You’ve allowed plenty of time to make it to your interview. But there’s an accident on the freeway and traffic comes to a standstill right in front of you! Or, you find the address, but all the parking garages are full and you can’t find a place to park. You know you cannot get there in time.
What do you do?
Get to a phone as quickly as you can. Call the interviewer, briefly explain the situation, and say that you will get there as quickly as humanly possible. When you arrive, apologize for causing any inconvenience and briefly reaffirm the reason for your lateness. Then, move to the business at hand. A lengthy blow-by-blow account of your adventure is not necessary or helpful!
Don’t assign blame or denigrating the “idiots” who caused/contributed to the situation.
(By the way, because you never know what may go wrong, we suggest that you always give yourself at least a 30-minute cushion. You may need it!)
You want the position a lot, so you are very enthusiastic in sharing information about your skills and abilities. You open your mouth to say something else and out comes a spray of saliva.
Relax! First of all, it’s possible that the interviewer hasn’t seen. At the first opportunity (while the interviewer is looking elsewhere), surreptitiously swipe the dribbles off the interviewer’s desk with your hand.
If the interviewer has noticed, just say “I'm sorry!” and wipe it off.
Spit happens!
You’re feeling good. Confident. The interview is going well. Then, the interviewer asks you a question and you have absolutely no idea what to say. You can’t just not answer the question, so what can you do?
First, don’t try to “wing it.” You can dig a hole for yourself very quickly. Honesty is the best policy. Admit that you don’t have an answer. This is the safest course.
If the question is one that you’d like to think about, it is perfectly fine to say, “I need a minute to think about that,” and then give your answer. If you need a little more information in order to respond, you may request that as well.
The interviewer gives you a cup of coffee and just as you’re sitting down, the coffee spills on the floor.
Accidents happen and how you handle the situation can make you a memorable job candidate!
Apologize and acknowledge your total embarrassment. Then offer to help in the clean up.
As in any other such uncomfortable situation, remain as poised as possible — and do not let this ruin the Interview

SOME QUESTIONS
What do you see yourself doing five years from now?
The question is designed to help the interviewer know if the job seeker will be happy in that position, or if he or she wants to work in it only as long as it takes to find something “better.”
How do you make yourself indispensable to a company?
Talk about both technical and interpersonal competence

What’s your greatest strength?
Don’t just talk about your strength—relate it to the position

What’s your greatest weakness?
Say something along the lines of, ‘I have difficulty with this thing, and these are the strategies I use to get around it,” For example, you could say, ‘I’m not the most organized of individuals, so I always answer my e-mails and phone calls right away. I’m aware of the problem and I have strategies to deal with it

Tell me about a time when your course load was heavy. How did you complete all your work?
generally are looking for an answer like, ‘Last semester I was taking 21 credits, so I made sure I had a day planner and mapped out all my assignments,

Tell me about a time when you had to accomplish a task with someone who was particularly difficult to get along with.
want to hear something that shows the candidate has the ability to be sensitive to the needs of others but can still influence them,” Don’t say ‘I just avoided them’ or ‘They made me cry.’”

How do you accept direction and, at the same time, maintain a critical stance regarding your ideas and values?
pointing out that with good interpersonal skills honed on the job can understand how to walk that fine line.

How to Behave in a Behavior-Based Interview

Following is a list of typical behavior-based questions, courtesy of Lombardi and The Ultimate Job Search Kit by Damir Joseph Stimac. Competencies sought by the interviewer are listed in parentheses:
Describe a situation in which you had to use reference materials to write a research paper. What was the topic? What journals did you read? (research/written communication)
Give me a specific example of a time when a co-worker or classmate criticized your work in front of others. How did you respond? How has that event shaped the way you communicate with others? (oral communication.
Give me a specific example of a time when you sold your supervisor or professor on an idea or concept. How did you proceed? What was the result? (assertiveness)
Describe the system you use for keeping track of multiple projects. How do you track your progress so that you can meet deadlines? How do you stay focused? (commitment to task)
Tell me about a time when you came up with an innovative solution to a challenge your company or class was facing. What was the challenge? What role did others play? (creativity and imagination)
Describe a specific problem you solved for your employer or professor. How did you approach the problem? What role did others play? What was the outcome? (decision making)
Describe a time when you got co-workers or classmates who dislike each other to work together. How did you accomplish this? What was the outcome? (teamwork)
Tell me about a time when you failed to meet a deadline. What things did you fail to do? What were the repercussions? What did you learn? (time management)
Describe a time when you put your needs aside to help a co-worker or classmate understand a task. How did you assist them? What was the result? (flexibility)
Describe two specific goals you set for yourself and how successful you were in meeting them. What factors led to your success in meeting your goals? (goal setting)

Your next interview may not be face-to-face with a potential employer. You may make your first impression on a hiring manager by telephone.
Many organizations use telephone interviewing during the hiring process, saying it saves money, takes less time than a live interview, and allows an employer to interview candidates from a wider geographical area.
Here are tips from employers on how to prepare for your phone interview:
Be prepared:
Have a copy of your resume, transcript, and the job description in front of you during the interview.
Keep a log of companies and titles of jobs you've applied for, which will help you be better prepared if you are called unexpectedly.
Attend phone interview workshops and participate in mock phone interviews offered by your career center.
Practice, practice, practice.
Be professional:
Record a professional message for your answering machine or voice mail.
Have a "canned" response ready for a recruiter if you're caught off guard.
Turn off music or the TV during the interview.
· Don't eat, drink, or chew gum during the interview.
Don't type on your computer during the interview.
Don't put an interviewer on hold to take call waiting.
Be personable:
Be enthusiastic-show interest in the position and the organization.
Ask pertinent questions about the job and company, not just about salary, benefits, and/or hours.
Talk slowly and show self-confidence.
Thank the interviewer for his or her time.
On-Campus Interview
Because an on-campus interview happens “at home,” you may feel complacent about it. After all, the recruiter is coming to you. All you have to do is walk across campus and talk about your skills and experiences for a half-hour or so.
So what’s the big deal? The big deal is:
The campus interview is a real interview—it’s not just practice.
Employers make real hiring decisions based on how you well you present yourself and articulate what you have to offer. You may not get a chance to talk to the employer again.
You have real competition: The other students on the schedule have taken the same courses, learned the same skills, and gotten the same advice from advisers. These students are your competition for the job! Without serious preparation, you’ll look like “just another student” instead the right candidate for the job.
You will have only 30 minutes to “sell” yourself to the recruiter.
How can you stand out from the group of interviewees and earn an invitation for a second interview? Here are some pointers that may give you an advantage in this competition.
Show up on time. Basic advice? Obvious to anyone? Yes. But it’s something many students don’t do. Don’t keep the interviewer waiting. And don’t be a “no-show.”
Dress appropriately! The old saying about “first impressions” is right. Lack of concern about your appearance sends the message that this interview doesn’t really matter to you. It takes a brilliant interview to overcome an initial negative impression!
Show that you have done your research. Never go into an interview and try to wing it. (That may work on some tests—but it’s disastrous in an interview!) Before your interview, learn about the company, its products and/or services, and its way of doing business. Gather as much information as you can about the position for which you will be interviewing.Then—and this is the important part—use that information! You must help the interviewer see how your skills and background are a good match for the company and the job. (Need some help with this part? Call your school’s career services center and ask about participating in mock interviews.)
Articulate what makes you special. If you are on the interview schedule, you probably have the basic requirements for the job—but so does everyone else on the schedule!Think about the skills and/or experiences that you have that set you apart from the pack. Don’t be afraid to bring these up—not in an egotistical way, but in the context of responding to questions. Be prepared to talk about what you can bring to this position and to the company.
Avoid one word answers! Answering “yes” or “no” to a question doesn’t cut it! Interviews are a proving ground for the verbal communication skills that are essential to most jobs and highly prized by employers. You must show that you can communicate effectively. Take your one-word answer a step further by adding an explanatory sentence or so.When possible, use relevant examples to expand on your answers. Mention examples from courses you have taken, experience that you have had in internships or at a summer job, and illustrations from teams and student groups that you belonged to.
Exhibit enthusiasm. You’d be surprised by how much a little enthusiasm counts. Few things are more disheartening to an interviewer than a candidate who does not seem to be at all excited about the company or agency and/or the position. What is it about this company or this position that made you want this interview? Let the recruiter know!
Have some thoughtful questions. Toward the end of an interview, an interviewer will often ask, “Do you have any questions for me?”The cop-out answer is, “No, you answered all of them.”The right answer is to prepare several questions in advance. These questions could relate to responsibilities of the position, the profile of people who have been successful in the position, or some recent development at the company that you gleaned from your research. You may also ask when you might expect to hear from them. Not only will you gain valuable information, but the recruiter will know you cared enough to prepare for the interview.
Show your appreciation for the interview. As you are leaving the interview, take the time to shake the interviewer’s hand and say “thank you” for the opportunity to discuss this position. You may also say that you are excited about the position (if you are!).And don’t forget to write a thank-you note to the interviewer afterward. This gets your name back in front of the person who will decide whether you’ll be invited for a second interview and gives you one more chance to say that you’re the right candidate for the job.
The on-campus interview can open the door to future opportunities—or it can slam the door shut with an employer. It should be an interactive, focused exchange of information in a very brief time frame. By following these few guidelines, you can increase the chances that this interview will lead to your second interview and perhaps your first step in your career after graduation.

Dining With Prospective Employers
Utensil etiquette
As a rule of thumb, when you face a full battalion of knives, forks, and spoons, work from the outside in. In other words, use the flatware the furthest from the plate first. Exception: The salad fork is usually closest to the plate.
Used utensils must never touch the surface of the table or the tablecloth because they might make the cloth dirty. Even the clean handles of your fork and knife should not touch the table.
At the end of a course, place your used utensil on a flat dish. Do not leave a fork or spoon in a bowl or cup (that’s why there’s usually a flat dish under the soup bowl!) where it might flip and assault your host.
Between bites, your utensils should rest on the edge of our plate. Your knife rests on the back of your plate; your fork sits on the side of your plate. When you are finished, place your knife and fork so they lie horizontally across the center of the plate. The blade of your knife should face toward you.
Napkin rules
As soon as you are seated, put your napkin in your lap. Sometimes, at very formal restaurants, the waiter may do this for you.
Treat your napkin very gently during the meal. Do not crumple it or wad it into a knot. If you use your napkin (and you should), gently dab at your lips. Etiquette books say (we’re not making this up), your napkin should not get dirty in the dining process. It is meant to catch food from falling into your lap (which, of course, it won’t) and it should gently dust the crumbs from your lips.
When you are finished, place your napkin next to your plate. Do not refold it. Do not leave it on the chair.
Handling those awkward moments...
You bite into an olive and discover a pit. Your last bite of fish had a bone in it. You didn’t realize just how fatty the meat was. Now, you’re not sure you can swallow what’s in your mouth.
No noise and no faces allowed—but you don’t have to swallow the inedible. If you need to remove something from your mouth, shift into reverse. Carefully, and with your hand close to your mouth, drop the olive pit into the palm of your hand and put the pit on your plate. Remove the fish bone using two fingers like a pair of tweezers. Set the bone on the edge of your plate. If you think the sight of your chewed meat is going to make your fellow diners gag, bring your napkin to your lips and remove the meat.

A thank you goes a long way
Write a thank-you note to your host, emphasizing your appreciation for the opportunity to talk about the job (or learn about the organization or meet prospective colleagues) over a meal.
Group discussions
Some companies have a group discussion (GD) before the candidates meet the interview panel. The GD may help to show your capability in initiating an idea, your skills in listening or steering a group. To the selection panel it may also serve as a filter helping it to eliminate a few more candidates, thereby narrowing the contest.
Dos and don'ts: If you know in advance a job selection process includes a group discussion, practice mock GDs with a group of friends. Ask them to suggest a surprise topic. This helps to hone your quick thinking and collating skills.
Dos:
In the few minutes given for preparation, jot down a few ideas.
Take the lead and try to initiate the discussion. If this does not happen, do not panic. You don't necessarily have to be the first off the block.
Make your points in a concise and clear manner.
Speak in a modulated voice, addressing the group, letting your eye sweep across the group.
If the GD is being dominated by one or two people, wait for a sag in their conversation. Even these two may not be able to sustain the discussion with fresh ideas. If one or two participants are not able to get an edge in, see to it that they get a chance to express themselves.
If the discussion is going off track try to bring it on track. Interviewers are looking for leadership qualities in candidates.
Provide a new slant to the discussion. In case all the points you had in mind have been expressed already, try to rephrase an important observation or provide a quick statistic, theory or a management tenet to illustrate it.
When the rest of the group are hounding out your suggestion, or have weakened their argument, try to steer it to a new angle in the issue, without looking defeated.
If you are alert you will get your word in. Even if you speak for a minute a couple of times and have introduced a new idea or a twist to the discussion, you have succeeded in your task.
Show that you are with the group with your body language. Sit erect, look alert. Have a pleasant demeanour. Look at the speaker while listening. Keep your cool.

Don'ts:
Don't shout. GDs often tend to become shouting matches. A few of the group tend to aggressively speak all the time. This does not mean that the selection committee is impressed by them.
You may oppose a view, or take objection to a speaker's words, but don't let it get into a prolonged argument. Don't be rude to another speaker.
Don't repeat yourself for the sake of speaking.
Don't withdraw from the discussion. If you don't speak out, you automatically get eliminated.
Don't panic.
A group discussion can be an exhausting experience. So don't come for a GD on an empty stomach.
Remember that even a person with average intelligence and communication skills can impress in a GD if he has prepared well and is attentive through the process.

How to use a portfolio in an interview
Many career counselors advise students and new graduates to take a portfolio of work with them to job interviews. Your portfolio holds evidence of your experience—examples and copies—of anything you've worked on and/or accomplished in school, at a job, or in volunteer work. For many students, a portfolio offers a comfortable way of demonstrating ability with "real life" examples.
Artists and news reporters, for example, traditionally use portfolios to showcase their work. A graphic artist working as a web designer, for example, might bring printouts of the development of a web site from initial drawings through completion. An artist going into advertising might bring samples of ad campaigns. Reporters bring "clips" of stories they have had published. A reporter's portfolio might include several articles as they were submitted to an editor plus the finished, published product in order to demonstrate that they've had experience writing stories and that the stories were publishable.
You can ask a number of people what to include in your portfolio—e.g., a career counselor, a faculty mentor, an adviser or mentor from your field. Many will be happy to look through your portfolio and critique your selections. However, having the right ingredients in your portfolio isn't enough. The key to success is presenting the contents at the right time during your interview.

One Size Doesn't Fit All
Make Your Portfolio Stand Out
While the number of items in your portfolio will vary according to your interviews, Perman says:
If the job description you are matching is comprehensive, you'll include more items than if the job description is fairly general.
Add a list of short- and long-term goals to your portfolio. When an employer asks about those goals, you can demonstrate that you have thought about them by pulling out your list.
One portfolio won't work for all interviews (although you'll probably use many of the same pieces for your interviews). And, there is no "right" number of items to include in your portfolio. Remember—you don't have to show everything you've brought, but you also don't want your portfolio to be so thick and full that it looks as if you've brought everything you have ever accomplished.
To prepare your portfolio for an interview, review the job description and choose examples of your work that relate to the skills the job requires. Then, review the pieces you've selected to include in the portfolio for this specific interview and order them within your portfolio according to topic. You want to be as organized as possible so that you can avoid shuffling through your papers to find examples.
If you can, practice answering questions while pulling out examples from your portfolio. Contact your career services office to see if you can participate in mock interviews to practice your presentation skills.
It's Show-and-Tell Time
Using your portfolio during the interview is like a grownup version of show-and-tell. Remember: There's a right time and a wrong time to present your portfolio or its contents to an interviewer.
Don't hand over your portfolio at the beginning of the interview—the employer will be tempted to look through it while talking to you and may not give you his or her full attention. Or, the employer will listen to you and not see the great examples of work you've included.
Don't save your portfolio until the end of the interview. The employer may have a very limited amount of time to spend with each job candidate, so he or she may not have time to skim through your portfolio before the next interview. Your portfolio will go in a briefcase to be examined later (if at all), at which time your work will not make a good connection to your interview.
Also, don't put original documents into your portfolio—sometimes employers ask to take your portfolio with them. Make copies of everything that you include and be prepared to leave this copy of your portfolio upon request.

Here's how your presentation should work:
The interviewer will ask you a question.
Take a moment to think about your answer—and to pinpoint (in your mind) something in your portfolio that relates specifically to your answer.
Answer the question. Then say, "I have an example of this in my portfolio."
Next, open your portfolio and find the document as quickly and smoothly as possible.
Introduce the document to the interviewer. You might say something like, "During my internship at XYZ Company, I designed a widget supply chain that streamlined the process for my department. I have a drawing of the process that I believe demonstrates the skills we have been talking about."
Whip out your document. Then, be quiet. Wait for the employer to look up (this is a signal that the employer has finished examining your document) or until the employer asks a question about your work.
Or, if the silence is too uncomfortable, you can point out specifics of the example you are showing.
The interview will then naturally flow to another questions—and another example from you.
At the end of the interview, when the employer asks "Is there anything else you want to share with us?" you can show a project that you feel especially proud of from your portfolio. Or, you can ask the interviewer, "Can I share with you any other items from my portfolio?"

Thinking Skills

2008-06-16T23:40:00.000-07:00

THINKING SKILLS

DOMINANT MENTAL PATTERN Exercises 10 min
§ Tear Square piece of paper in 3 sec into 4 pieces
§ Draw an elephant in 3 sec
§ How many ways can a square be divided into 4 equal parts
§ Farmers Plot of land

IT HELPS TO WORK IN TEAMS
· Team Squares
· Cash Register

To get out of Dominant Mental patterns, to think laterally, to think out of the box
Some techniques:

BRAIN STORMING
FLUENCY
FLEXIBILYTY
ORIGINALITY
How many ways can you use BRICKS ? 10 min

TRIGGERS
§ What does this mean to you? After 5 min 15 min
§ In the context of a class room? 3 min
§ In the context of the Garden? 3min
§ In the context of the Kitchen? 3min
§ In the context of space?

ATTRIBUTE LISTING 15 min
Straw exercise each team to take one attribute of the Drinking straw
§ Material
§ Size & Shape
§ Texture
§ Its Uses

SCoMPE
Restaurant
15 min

Substitute
Combine
Minimise/Magnify
Put to other uses
Eliminate

Random Word
15 min
Take a problem you want to find solutions to
Pick a Random word
Bangle,
Eraser,
Book,
frog,
Flower

EACH TEAM TO USE SIX THINKING HATS TO INCREASE THE SALES OF A PRODUCT OF YOUR CHOICE
How to Use the Tool:
To use Six Thinking Hats to improve the quality of your decision-making, look at the decision 'wearing' each of the thinking hats in turn.
Each 'Thinking Hat' is a different style of thinking. These are explained below:
· White Hat:With this thinking hat, you focus on the data available. Look at the information you have, and see what you can learn from it. Look for gaps in your knowledge, and either try to fill them or take account of them.This is where you analyze past trends, and try to extrapolate from historical data.
· Red Hat:'Wearing' the red hat, you look at the decision using intuition, gut reaction, and emotion. Also try to think how other people will react emotionally, and try to understand the intuitive responses of people who do not fully know your reasoning.
Black Hat:When using black hat thinking, look at things pessimistically, cautiously and defensively. Try to see why ideas and approaches might not work. This is important because it highlights the weak points in a plan or course of action. It allows you to eliminate them, alter your approach, or prepare contingency plans to counter problems that arise.
Black Hat thinking helps to make your plans 'tougher' and more resilient. It can also help you to spot fatal flaws and risks before you embark on a course of action. Black Hat thinking is one of the real benefits of this technique, as many successful people get so used to thinking positively that often they cannot see problems in advance, leaving them under-prepared for difficulties.
Yellow Hat:The yellow hat helps you to think positively. It is the optimistic viewpoint that helps you to see all the benefits of the decision and the value in it, and spot the opportunities that arise from it. Yellow Hat thinking helps you to keep going when everything looks gloomy and difficult.
· Green Hat:The Green Hat stands for creativity. This is where you can develop creative solutions to a problem. It is a freewheeling way of thinking, in which there is little criticism of ideas. A whole range of creativity tools can help you here.
Blue Hat:The Blue Hat stands for process control. This is the hat worn by people chairing meetings. When running into difficulties because ideas are running dry, they may direct activity into Green Hat thinking. When contingency plans are needed, they will ask for Black Hat thinking, and so on.
You can use Six Thinking Hats in meetings or on your own. In meetings it has the benefit of defusing the disagreements that can happen when people with different thinking styles discuss the same problem.

A simple set of question framings was defined by Kipling in his immortal poem:

I have six faithful serving men
They taught me all I knew
Their names are What and Where and When
And Why and How and Who

They are also known by the less prosaic '5W1H' and are useful for general questioning and probing. Here are some question 'starters for ten'...
What
· What, specifically,...?
· What next?
· What else?
Where
· Where else?
· Where are you?
· Where, exactly...?
When
· When, exactly, will you...?
· When will it start/end?
· When will I know?

Why
· Why does that happen?
· Why not?
· (just keep asking 'why?' to find root cause - often around 5 times)
How
· How many?
· How much?
· How does it work?
Who
· Who will do this?
· Who else will do this?
· Who pays?
· Who benefits?

MIND MAPPING

2008-06-16T23:38:00.000-07:00

Mind Maps
A Powerful Approach to Note TakingRelated variants: Spray Diagrams, Spider Diagrams, Spidograms, Spidergrams and Mindmaps
Mind Map™ is a trade mark of the Buzan Organization
Mind Mapping is a useful technique that improves the way you take notes, and supports and enhances your creative problem solving. By using Mind Maps, you can quickly identify and understand the structure of a subject and the way that pieces of information fit together, as well as recording the raw facts contained in normal notes. More than this, Mind Maps provide a structure which encourages creative problem solving, and they hold information in a format that your mind finds easy to remember and quick to review.
Popularized by Tony Buzan, Mind Maps abandon the list format of conventional note taking. They do this in favor of a two-dimensional structure. As such, a good Mind Map shows the 'shape' of the subject, the relative importance of individual points, and the way in which facts relate to one another.Mind Maps are more compact than conventional notes, often taking up one side of paper. This helps you to make associations easily. And if you find out more information after you have drawn the main Mind Map, then you can easily add it in.
Mind Maps are also useful for:

Summarizing information;
Consolidating information from different research sources;
Thinking through complex problems; and
Presenting information in a format that shows the overall structure of your subject.
What's more, they are very quick to review as you can often refresh information in your mind just by glancing at one. In the same way, they can be effective mnemonics: Remembering the shape and structure of a Mind Map can give you the cues you need to remember the information within it. As such, they engage much more of your brain in the process of assimilating and connecting facts, compared with conventional notes.

Drawing Simple Mind Maps
The original Mind Tools site was planned and researched using Mind Maps. They are too large to publish here, however part of one is shown below. This shows research into time management skills:

Figure 1: An Example Mind Map

To make notes on a subject using a Mind Map, draw it in the following way:
1. Write the title of the subject you're exploring in the center of the page, and draw a circle around it. This is shown by the circle marked 1 in Figure 1, above.
2. As you come across major subdivisions or subheadings of the topic (or important facts that relate to the subject) draw lines out from this circle. Label these lines with these subdivisions or subheadings. These are shown by the lines marked 2 in Figure 1.
3. As you "burrow" into the subject and uncover another level of information (further subheadings, or individual facts) belonging to the subheadings above, draw these as lines linked to the subheading lines. These are shown by the lines marked 3 in Figure 1.
4. Finally, for individual facts or ideas, draw lines out from the appropriate heading line and label them. These are shown by the lines marked 4 in Figure 1.
As you come across new information, link it in to the Mind Map appropriately.
A complete Mind Map may have main topic lines radiating in all directions from the center. Sub-topics and facts will branch off these, like branches and twigs from the trunk of a tree. You do not need to worry about the structure produced, as this will evolve as you develop your mind map.Note that the idea of numbered 'levels' in Figure 1 is only used to explain how the Mind Map was created. All we are showing is that major headings radiate from the center, with lower level headings and facts branching off from the higher level headings.While drawing Mind Maps by hand is appropriate in many cases, software tools like MindGenius improve the process by helping to you to produce presentation quality Concept Maps, which can easily be edited, distributed and redrafted.

Improving your Mind Maps
Once you understand how to make notes in the Mind Map format, you can develop your own conventions to take them further. The following suggestions may help to increase their effectiveness:
Use single words or simple phrases for information: Most words in normal writing are padding: They convey facts in the correct context, and in a format that is pleasant to read. In your own Mind Maps, single strong words and meaningful phrases can convey the same meaning more potently. Excess words just clutter the Mind Map.
Print words: Joined up or indistinct writing can be more difficult to read.
Use color to separate different ideas: This will help you to separate ideas where necessary. It also makes your Mind Map easier to remember. Color also helps to show the organization of the subject.
Use symbols and images: Where a symbol or picture means something to you, use it. Pictures can help you to remember information more effectively than words.
Using cross-linkages: Information in one part of the Mind Map may relate to another part. Here you can draw in lines to show the cross-linkages. This helps you to see how one part of the subject connects with another.
Key points:
Mind Mapping is an extremely effective method of taking notes. Mind Maps show not only facts, but also the overall structure of a subject and the relative importance of individual parts of it. They help you to associate ideas and make connections that might not otherwise make.If you do any form of research or note taking, try experimenting with Mind Maps. You will find them highly effective!

Interpersonal Skills

2008-05-22T03:05:00.000-07:00

INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

Programme Objectives

Þ Understanding Perception, Attitude and Belief
Þ Understanding Fundamental Interpersonal Relationship Orientation - Behaviour
Þ Understanding the dynamics of power and influence
Þ Understanding self and initiating change in self

SESSION-WISE BREAKUP OF TWO DAY PROGRAMME
Day I

SESSION 1 Introduction and Expectation sharing
(0900-1030)

Learning Objectives
At the end of this session participants will be able to:
¨ Get to know one another
¨ Understand deliverables

Contents
¨ Facilitator’s Introduction
¨ Introduction to the workshop
¨ Introduction of Participants

Exercise/Instruments
¨ Ice Breaker

Session 2 Understanding Values, Beliefs & Behaviour
(1045 – 1145)
Learning Objectives
At the end of this session the participants will be able to:
· The fundamental principles of human effectiveness
· Understand present paradigms and make a paradigm shift
· Understand that behaviour is a reflection of what one truly beliefs

Contents
The reality Model
Exercise/Instruments
Pen & paper Exercise

Session 3 Understanding Behaviour
(1145-1530)
&
Session 4
(1545-1700)
Learning Objectives
At the end of the session the participants will be able to:
Þ Understand behaviour and its impact
Þ Appreciate differences in behaviour of self and others

Contents
Concept of

Inclusion
Control
Affection/ Openness

Concept of

Significance
Competence
Likability
Exercise/Instrument
Element – B and Element – F

DAY 2

Session 1 Understanding Self & Others
(0900-1030)
Learning Objective

At the end of this session participants will be able to:
Þ Appreciate the concept of TA
Þ State the 3 ego states
Þ Understand the “I’m OK You’re OK” model

Contents
Transactional Analysis
Ego States
Parallel, Crossed, Ulterior Transactions
Exercises/Instruments
Ego Gram

Session 2 TA
(1045-1300)

Learning Objectives
Same as in Session 3

Exercises/Instruments:
Movie Games Managers Play 1 Sharu Rangnekar
Games Managers play 2

SESSION 3
(1345-1545)

Learning Objectives
At the end of this session the participants will be able to:
Contents

SESSION 4 Transfer of Training
(1545-1700)

Learning Objective
At the end of this session participants will be able to:
Þ Review the learning experience
Þ List learning and its application on the job
Þ Discuss constraints in application

Contents
Review session wise coverage
Learning from each session
Application on the job

Exercise / Instrument
Contract with Self

SESSIONWISE BREAK UP OF TWO DAY PROGRAMME
DAY 1
SESSION 1 Introduction and Expectation sharing
(0900-1030)

Learning Objectives
At the end of this session participants will be able to:
Þ Get to know one another
Þ Understand deliverables

Contents
Facilitator’s Introduction
Introduction to the workshop
Introduction of Participants

Exercise/Instruments
Ice Breaker

Session 2&3 Transactional Analysis
(1045 – 1530)

Learning Objectives
At the end of the session the participants will be able to:
Þ Appreciate the concept of TA
Þ State the 3 ego states
Þ Understand the “I’m OK You’re OK” model

Contents
Transactional Analysis
Ego States
Parallel, Crossed, Ulterior Transactions

Exercises/Instruments
Ego Gram

Session 4 Power and Influence
(1545-1700)

Learning Objective
At the end of this session participants will be able to:
Þ Appreciate the strengths and weaknesses of different styles of influence

Content
Area of influence

Exercise/Instrument
Self Evaluation Questionnaire – Influencing Your Manager

DAY 2

Session 1 Assertiveness
(0900-1030)
&
SESSION 2
(1045-1300)
Learning Objectives

At the end of this session the participants will be able to:
Þ Understand Aggressive, Passive and Assertive Behaviour
Þ Gain insight into their behaviour
Þ Understand the significance of Assertive Behaviour

Content

Passive, Aggressive and Assertive Behaviour
Verbal and Non-Verbal indicators of Behaviour
Assertiveness Techniques

Exercise/ Instrument
Exercises
SEQ
Case study

SESSION 3 Johari Window
(1345-1545)

Learning Objective
At the end of the session participants will be able to:
Þ Understand importance of seeking and giving feedback
Þ Understand openness and interpersonal relationships
Þ Understand how open they are

Content
Johari Window
Self Disclosure
Soliciting Feeback

Exercise/ Instrument
Interpersonal Response Style – SEQ
¨Exercise is giving and seeking feedback

SESSION 4 Transfer of Training
(1545-1645)

Learning Objective
At the end of this session participants will be able to:
Þ Review the learning experience
Þ List learning and its application on the job
Þ Discuss constraints in application

Content
Review session wise coverage
Learning from each session
Application on the job

Exercise / Instrument
Contract with Self

INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

Programme Schedule
Day 1
0900 – 1000 hrs Ice Breaker

1000 – 1030 hrs Expectation Sharing

1030 – 1045 hrs Break

1045 – 1300 hrs Administer FIRO-B instrument
Debrief (ref FIRO-B manual)

1300 – 1345 hrs Lunch

1345 – 1700 hrs Transactional Analysis
Explain Concept (ref TA Manual)
Exercise to recognise Ego States (ref TA
manual)
Ego gram to identify Ego State of Self
Break into groups of 5-10 for case study –
Alpha Company to understand how insight
into Self helps understand our interpersonal
relationship with others
Video cassette viewing to reinforce concept
Games Managers Play 1,2 & 3
-Sharu Rangnekar
Day 2
0900 – 0930 hrs Recap

0930 – 1030 hrs Administer – Influencing your Manager
Debrief
1030 – 1045 hrs Break
1045 – 1300 hrs Administer SEQ Conflict Management Styles
Debrief (ref manual on CM)
1300 – 1345 Lunch
1345 – 1630 hrs
Administer SEQ Assertiveness
Debrief (ref manual on Assertiveness)
Exercises to differentiate Passive, Aggressive & Assertive Behaviour (ref manual on Assertiveness)
Explain Assertiveness Techniques (ref manual on Assertiveness)
Break into groups of 5-6 for case study on Conflict Resolution and Identifying Passive, Aggressive and Assertive behaviour. (Ref Manual on Conflict Resolution)

1630 – 1700 hrs Syndicate work on Learning from workshop
and application on the job.

INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
Programme Schedule (forJunior level)

Day 1
0900 – 1000 hrs
Ice Breaker
Tea Party
1000 – 1030 hrs
Expectation Sharing
1030 – 1045 hrs
Break
1045 – 1300 hrs
Understanding Self and Others
(ref MBTI Manual )
Questionaire / Scoring
De brief…TPs
Case Study - Air Crash
1300 - 1345 hrs
Lunch
1345 - 1500 hrs
Case Study - Dyadic Team
1500 - 1515 hrs
Tea
1515 - 1630 hrs
Presentation
1630 - 1700 hrs
Learning
Day 2
0900 - 0930 hrs
Recap
0930 - 1030 hrs
Case Study
1030 - 1045 hrs
Tea
1045 - 1145 hrs
Assertiveness
Exercise - Cold Soup
1145 - 1245 hrs
Influencing
Self Learning Module
1245 - 1330 hrs
Lunch
1330 - 1500 hrs
Conflict Management
Questionaire / Scoring
De brief
1500 - 1515 hrs
Tea
1515 - 1630 hrs
Case Study
1630 - 1700 hrs
Learning
Action Plan